I confess I’ve been spending a lot of time covering the Trump campaign here. I do so because he’s a complete tool.
But I’ve really been unfair to the other complete tools who comprise the bulk of the Republican Presidential field. Like Ted Cruz.
Fortunately for Cruz, he won the Iowa caucus on Monday and that means he can now step into the limelight!
And step into it he did when he blamed CNN for reporting that Ben Carson was dropping out of the race. In fact, Carson was just going home to Florida for a few days. Which is exactly what CNN reported.
When the Cruz camp got called out for misstating the information, they blamed it on CNN. CNN responded by effectively saying “fuck you – we never said or even implied he was dropping out of the race. Here’s the record of what we said you idiot.”
Cruz responded by magnanimously saying that CNN had, “surprisingly” gotten it right. Backhanded compliment for win!
Actually, he said “miracles happen.” Ha ha.
What’s really funny is that Cruz’s apology still got it wrong. He claimed CNN said Carson was not carrying on to New Hampshire and South Carolina.
Except they never claimed that. They said was going home to Florida first.
You know what, I-hope-to-never-call-you President Cruz? If you are going to make fun of a news organization for misreporting the news, it doesn’t help if you misreport what they said.
I finally watched The Hateful Eight this week and as much as I love Westerns and as much as I love Quentin Tarantino, I have a problem with the movie. As I began to consider things, it became clear I have a problem with the last three Tarantino films and they are all basically the same problem.
This problem involves spoilers. So read with caution.
I’ve just been exploring some different ideas and forms the last few weeks. I’m still percolating over my next script so I’m playing with short stories.
Because I’m a playwright, I find it very easy to write dialogue. Everything else is pretty tricky.
For the second week in a row, I’ve ended up writing something that isn’t comedy. Sometimes you have to just let the story happen and see where you end up.
The genesis of this story was the idea of a human sacrifice from the point of view of the sacrifice. I used the Mayan culture as a little bit of a springboard but this isn’t supposed to be a real place or a real-time.
It feels like just last week I was writing about young women being subjected to draconian dress policies. Oh wait – it was just last week. It’s like this sort of thing happens to young women all the time!
Gosh, I wonder what that does to their body image and self-esteem?
Who cares, right? What’s important is that those young ladies remember that modesty is their best option in life. It’s for their own good. Young boys can’t be trusted. If your skirt doesn’t touch the ground when you are kneeling, it is too short!
I really do understand the need for certain dress codes in schools. At issue here, though, is not the idea of a dress code but rather the idea that young women are shamed for showing off (what is deemed to be) too much of their bodies while young men do not face the same stigma.
In this case, the principal defended the action by pointing out boys had been sent home for wearing ripped jeans.
Did he make them kneel so he could measure the size of the holes?
I’ve been giving myself a hard goal of writing for two hours every day. Some days I have something that really needs to be written. Other days, I’m just trying to write something.
This is a short story I’ve been massaging for the last couple of days. I’m a playwright. That’s my thing. But I wanted to make myself write something and this was what started coming out.
Even though Rey was the lead in The Force Awakens, inside reports suggest that the prevailing opinion was that kids (specifically boys) wouldn’t be interested. Also, apparently girls don’t play with action figures or some stupid shit like that.
They decided that what they really needed was a whole lot of Kylo Ren stuff.
Now don’t get me wrong – Kylo Ren is a great character. I love his conflicted nature and his violent mood swings. He is one of the most dangerous villains I think the Star Wars universe has ever created.
Yes, including Darth Vader.
But the heart of the film is Rey. If you don’t have confidence that kids are going to identify with her and want toys that represent her, why the fuck are you making merchandise for the film?
I mean, if your expectation of the hero is that low, your expectation of the rest of the film has to be lower, doesn’t it?
What’s embarrassing is this conversation has been going on for years. The public has been saying “we want toys featuring the women in these movies” and every time a new film comes out, the response seems to be “well, we didn’t know!”
When in realty, they just didn’t care.
Yesterday, I was invited to be the featured reader at the Not-So-Silent Planet, a speculative fiction open mic presented by Wordsprout. I was flattered and, of course, incredibly nervous because I didn’t know what I was going to write and, as always, I had no idea if it was the least bit funny.
The inspiration for this particular story came from the phrase “I just wish there weren’t so many bass players.” I don’t know why as I have no particular hatred for bass players. The phrase just struck me as funny. Over the course of the day, I managed to find a bunch of words to wrap around that phrase and this is the story that emerged. Honestly, I think it works better read aloud.
But I liked it. And I think it worked well. So I’m putting it out on the internet for people to enjoy or ignore. Warning: this story does not contain any cats.