Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 11/2

Crazy Christians Claim Hurricane Sandy is the Wrath of God

Any time a random act of nature affects human beings, god is getting all up in our face for something, according to the crazy wing of the Religious Right.

Now why god flooded the east coast is up for debate.  It might be gay marriage.  I could have something to do with Israel.  It could have something to do with the fact that it is a coast and getting hammered by a storm once in a while is about as likely as floods happening on flood plains.

If you look really closely at the cloud formation, you can see god flipping off the east coast.

Once again, why believe that God is such a colossal dick?  Why would he put the lives of believers at risk?  There are, unquestionably, a large number of New Yorkers who don’t support gay marriage.  So god is punishing them because they didn’t oppose gay marriage hard enough?

When can we all settle down and accept that natural events are not the act of a vengeful god?

At the very least, can you all have a conversation and figure out what he’s punishing us for before you start talking out of your collective asses?

Religious Exemptions in Florida Allow Child Abuse

So if you claim a religious exemption in Florida, you can do stuff to kids that would get ordinary people tossed in jail.

From the article in the link:

[in Florida], unlicensed religious homes can abuse children and go on operating for years. Almost 30 years ago, Florida legislators passed a law eliminating state oversight of children’s homes that claim government rules hamper their religious practices.

So basically, if you claim a religious exemption, you can do damn near anything you want to a kid in the name of god.

Now I understand that sometimes kids who have lost their way may respond to drastic treatment but there is a point where “treatment” becomes “abuse” and it would appear that in Florida, you don’t have to worry about that point so long as god is on your side.  Or rather so long as you say god is on your side.

Disney Buys LucasFilm But That Doesn’t Mean We’ll see the Unaltered Version of the Original Trilogy any Time Soon

If you link to the article you can read all the boring rights stuff that explains why the blu-rays will not be at our door in time for Christmas.

And yes, I know the real reason I should be excited about this whole arrangement is the opportunity for new creative minds to wrap their heads around the Star Wars universe.  Creative minds who have grown up loving the franchise and who could breathe new life into something George needed to let go.

All that is great and stuff but god damn it, I want the original trilogy on blu-ray motherfuckers!

These aren’t the versions we’re looking for

Come on, Disney!  You are legendary for being able to squeeze every nickel of profit out of your properties!  Make it happen!  Logistics be damned.

Make.

It.

Happen.

Note: George Lucas is giving 4 of the 5 Billion he made.  Do you hear that, Donald Trump?  He doesn’t need to bribe the President in order to make a charitable donation.

Republican Candidate Didn’t get the Memo and Talks about “The Rape Thing”

Why is it always white guys who don’t know when to shut up about rape?  As a white guy, I feel they are making me look bad.  I don’t need any help.

You don’t court women’s votes by referring to “the rape thing” because you make it sound like it isn’t a big deal.  Maybe it isn’t a big deal to a guy who has never been (and never will be) raped.  To someone who has been raped, it is a pretty big deal.

It is more than just a “thing.”

Here’s the problem I have with the abortion debate right now.  It is being framed as a “just about rape and incest” debate instead of addressing the larger issue of women’s rights.

Think about it this way – if you are a guy, nobody ever questions any choice you make in regards to your own health (unless you are terminally ill, in horrible pain and you want to end your life).  If you are a woman, you get to make all the choices regarding your physical and mental health.

Until you get pregnant.  Then everybody has an opinion.

It shouldn’t matter how you got pregnant.  That baby is still going to have some pretty major impact on your health.

Doesn’t matter, though.  For that nine month period, everyone else gets to make the decisions for you.

Any guy who doesn’t understand how lucky he is because he will never have to think about someone else talking about what he does with his testicles.

Note: I actually wrote a longer post about this yesterday.

Another Jackass Writes an Anti-Gay Marriage Op-Ed in the Star Tribune

The argument goes something like this:

1.  Marriage was created by society to provide protections to couples who are procreating and, therefore propagating the species.

2.  Gay people can’t procreate and propagate the species.

3.  Therefore, a homosexual relationship isn’t a marriage.

4.  Since it is not a marriage, if we call it one we are discriminating against people who are really married (i.e. “straight people”).

OK.  That was stupid.  Let me “prove” something using similar logic.

1.  The first sporting events we know about were track and field events like running and throwing things.

2.  In the sport of swimming, people neither run nor throw things.

3.  Therefore, swimming is not a sport.

4.  Giving gold medals to Michael Phelps was discriminating against Usain Bolt because Phelps is not a “real” athlete.

So if gay marriage becomes legal, Michael Phelps has to give back his gold medals.

Don’t get too attached to those medals, Phelps!

You sit on a throne of lies!

“Award Winning Meteorologist” Says that Sandy Was an Engineered Storm

While Alex Jones doesn’t come out and say that the storm was some sort of re-election grab by Obama or perhaps a play by Climate Change scientists to prove their point, he does say that the devastation was the direct responsiblity of people.

Almost nobody is taking this guy seriously because he’s clearly a nut.  Still, this stuff pops up whenever a seemingly random event happens.  We always want to figure out a way to make the universe fair.

Was it fair that Paul Wellstone died in a plane crash?  No, but if we can find a way to blame the Coleman campaign for the plane crash, we can at least feel like it wasn’t a random tragedy.

Was it fair that Sandy makes Obama look really good less than a week before the elections?  No, but if we say that the whole thing was his fault anyway, we can feel better if he wins.

PEOPLE!  Stop using fantasy to justify reality.  If your house catches on fire, you probably wouldn’t assume it was a dragon, would you?

Also, can we make up our minds?  Was the hurricane caused by god or by Democrats?

68% of Registered Republicans Believe in Demonic Possession

This is probably why most Republicans believe that homosexuality is a choice.  If you believe that any “unacceptable” behavior could potentially be explained away by demonic possession, you can totally discriminate against gay people because they are being controlled by demons!

This guy is totally gay

Now, I know they don’t care what I think because I’m an atheist and that probably means I’m possessed by a demon who doesn’t belive in god but I sure wish I could find a way to convince these people a move to Vatican City might be in order.

I know it’s a small country but I just think they’d all be happier if they lived someplace that shared their values!

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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