Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 12/21

Fuck Mike Huckabee

In the wake of a tragedy like the school shooting in Connecticut last week, Mike Huckabee decided the best way to deal with it was to be an insensitive prick.  Rather that recognizing that what happened was a random act of violence by a clearly deranged individual, Huckabee decided that all of this could have been avoided if people could only pray in schools.

I get that Huckabee is a religious man but in this particular case, he’s trying to come up with a reason that has absolutely no relationship to the tragedy at hand.

The secondary implication, mind you, is that if we were praying in schools, god wouldn’t let this shit happen.  God just sits back and watches because we won’t let Christians pray on school property.  As soon as prayer can happen on school grounds, god will strike down the gunmen before they can kill a bunch of innocent children.

Oh but wait!  Prayer is allowed on school grounds!  It is public prayer that isn’t permitted!  So not only is Huckabee a dick, he’s lying.

Huckabee isn’t alone in this either.  Bryan Fischer says God didn’t protect those kids because “god won’t go where he’s not wanted.” Eric Hovind also tweeted that the entire affair was probably because the shooter grew up in a school without god.

Dear God: I thought you were omnipotent. Turns out you are just a dick.

I don’t want to sugar coat this or these fucks might get the wrong idea.  What they are saying is tone-deaf insensitive grandstanding and if we lived in a just universe (we don’t), they would never be allowed to speak into a microphone again.

Tarzan & Jane

My son is watching episodes of this show on Netflix and wow is it all about how Jane is a completely incompetent rube who can’t do a damn thing without Tarzan.  I mean, I guess that makes sense for a story written over 100 years ago.  These days it isn’t particularly complementary.

What really bugged me in the episode I saw was how Jane was upset because Tarzan wasn’t a “civilized man” so she couldn’t celebrate her anniversary the “right” way.  No problem, though, Tarzan just got dressed up in his father’s nice suit and gave her a diamond ring (because we all know that a diamond ring is what women really want).  She got her perfect anniversary because her beloved husband pretended to be someone he wasn’t.

One more thing: In addition to being sexist, the show is also awful.  I didn’t think my kids could watch something worse than “Garfield.” Oh man was I wrong.

Op-Ed Writer in Duluth Doesn’t want a Big Video Game Convention Because of Unproven Anecdotes

Basically, the writer feels that violent video games are a problem and bringing a video game convention to Duluth would….um…..do something bad to the people in Duluth.

Here’s what she says:

If playing video games really leads to aggressive behavior, I sure wouldn’t want to welcome that into Duluth

A quick check of the internet has yielded two GameStop locations in the city of Duluth so like it or not, gamers already seem welcome in Duluth.

Also, every single person in Duluth who owns a smartphone or tablet is playing Angry Birds. Right now.

I’m pretty sure that a whole ton of Duluth residents play video games all the time.  If there is a big video game convention in town, for that one weekend, most of them are probably going to play video games less.  Wouldn’t that actually reduce the possibility that said gamers would turn into homicidal maniacs after a 16 hour “Mass Effect” marathon?

She mentions Gen-Con but doesn’t check to see if Indianapolis suffers an increase in video game related crime during the weekend of the convention.  Aside from increased shoplifting of Cheetoes and Mountain Dew, I’m pretty sure there isn’t any.  She also fails to recognize that Gen-con is not, in fact, a video gaming convention. At all.

It’s like complaining that you don’t want a “Firefly” convention in your town because you hate “Star Trek.”

I’m Once Again Reminded that I don’t want to eat at Domino’s Pizza

To be fair, Thomas Monaghan no longer owns Domino’s Pizza.

To further be fair, I don’t eat Domino’s pizza because if I wanted to eat painted cardboard, I don’t need to pay someone to deliver it to my home.

Monaghan claims that birth control has “nothing to do with healthcare” in his lawsuit.  What is interesting is the number of women I know personally who use birth control for something other than the prevention of pregnancy.  Although, in the case of my wife, pregnancy was pretty hard on her health so the prevention of pregnancy qualified  as healthcare.

So here’s the thing about all these assholes who want to make sure that they have the right to deny women access to contraception: what the fuck do they know?  Do they know why these women want it?  How about they just cover it and let god deal with the moral implications?  A woman’s health decisions should be between her and her doctor – not her, her doctor and her employer.

Tell you what, though, one of the best health decisions any woman can make is to not eat Domino’s Pizza.

Obama is Time’s Person of the Year

Look, I like Obama well enough.  I don’t think he’s perfect but he is frequently on the same political side of the fence as me.

Dammit! Second again!

But isn’t Time just a little bit lazy in naming Obama as the person of the year again?  I realize that Time is an American publication and the American President has a certain amount of relevance to their writing but has there been a single American President who hasn’t been man of the year?

Hell, if Time had been around in the mid 1800′s, they would have named William Henry Harrison 1841′s Man of the Year.

Obama did all sorts of stuff this year.  He won an election.  He supported gay marriage.  Good for him.

All in all, it seems like he made a lot more effort than Time magazine.

Texas Politician Introduces Bill to Ensure Teachers can say “Merry Christmas”

Yeah, this is one state legislator and he should in no way be considered the lead engine on the crazy train but the latest salvo against the “war on Christmas” is a bill to “protect” teachers if they say “Merry Christmas.”

Thing is, teachers aren’t at risk.  They can say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Hanukkah” or even “Joyous Solstice.”  It’s all good.  You don’t need a bill to make sure of that.

Unless you are a paranoid kook who managed to get himself elected to office.  Then you need to prove to your constituents that you are introducing exactly the kind of hard-hitting legislation that they elected you for.

To Sean, Bill and this crazy dude in Texas, I need to let you know something: atheists don’t hate Christmas.  We really don’t.  We don’t like you all that much, but that’s a different problem.

The World Will not End Today

Actually, that makes me pretty happy.  Or rather, it makes me indifferent because I was never worried to begin with.

What annoys me is that the continued existence of life as we know it means that I’ll end up reading at least five dozen more lame-ass armageddon jokes this weekend.  I love all you people but every single person I know has made a joke about the end of the world this week.  Most have made more than one.

So before you write your armageddon joke, ask yourself this question: why the fuck am I writing an armageddon joke?

At least, why I am I writing an armageddon joke that doesn’t reference oil worker astronauts?

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

4 responses to “Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 12/21”

  1. DrFrood says :

    ‘People are talking about the end of the world like there’s no tomorrow’ has been said to me a fair amount today. I’m often amazed that we’ve survived this long as a species without accidentally dashing our own collective head in with a brick.

    The latest I’ve seen on the Conneticut tragedy is that some NRA wonk has pointed the finger ‘at least in part’ at violent videogames.

    It’s wrong (and insensitive) to speculate about the killer’s mindset, but it’s also of secondary importance, surely. More important is what, if anything, can help reduce the chances of these tragedies recurring. 6 of the worst (as in numbers murdered) mass killings in the USA have occured in the past 5 years.

    That’s what I think anyway.

    Entertaining bit of stuff though, enjoyed it.

  2. sight66 says :

    I wrote about Huckabee and Fischer, too. And there are so many others that could be lumped in with them.

  3. Eric K. says :

    Actually, Gen Con embraces the broader spectrum of gaming so there are exhibitors showing off their hot new video game stuff and some events and discussions in that area as well. So it’s not the primary focus but video-gaming is a definite presence.

    • Petsnakereggie says :

      I should have stated that a little better. Fact is that Gen-con is not a “video gaming” con and while video games are certainly part of the experience, they are not the primary focus.

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