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Shit that Pissed me off – 6/26

Writers note: What with landmark Supreme Court rulings in favor of Obamacare and same-sex marriage this week, I contemplated taking a week off.  I mean, why be pissed when two things I strongly support are taking their victory lap?

Sadly, there are still things that piss me off.  Please accept, though, that I am writing this week’s column with a satisfied smile on my face.

What the Fuck is Wrong with Clarence Thomas?

While Antonin Scalia can be counted on for red faced dissenting opinions in which he bemoans the fact that social liberals exist, much less occasionally win, Thomas’ dissent in the same-sex marriage case is positively draconian.

In it, he suggests that slaves in America and the Japanese Americans who were interred during WWII did not lose their dignity.  He reasons (wrongly) that nobody can take away your dignity.

It seems odd that anyone would need to tell a black man how the system of slavery in the south was specifically designed to strip people of their dignity.  It is certainly odd that I, a white guy, seem to be more aware of this fact than him. Calling a person “property” doesn’t feel particularly dignified.

While Scalia is bemoaning the death of our democracy, Thomas seems to be questioning the definition of our humanity.  He wants to believe that we all have a limitless capacity for handling bullshit and the Government has no responsibility to make it stop.

If anyone here felt they lost their dignity, it was their own fucking fault!

If anyone here felt they lost their dignity, it was their own fucking fault!

Government can and has taken away human dignity. Today, it handed a little bit of dignity back.

What really bugs me about Scalia and Thomas is their dissent doesn’t feel like it is about law.  They are personally pissed that they lost and because they are justices on the Supreme Court, they get to write a long dissertation on just how pissed off they are.

Guess what guys? So do I. And a nearly unmeasurable fraction of the people who read yours also read mine!

SUCK ON THAT!!!!

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Shit that Pissed me off – 6/19

NRA Board Member Chooses the Occasion of a Tragic Shooting to Blame the Victims

I could mention a lot of things that piss me off about the latest mass shooting in Charleston.

I’m pissed that in spite of the fact the killer is a self admitted racist, there are lots of people who insist that this wasn’t about race.

I’m pissed because South Carolina still flies the Confederate flag at its state capitol and state leaders continually try to pretend there are no racist connotations that can be associated with that flag.

Flying these two flags together kind of misses the point.

Flying these two flags together kind of misses the point.

And I’m pissed because every time there is a mass shooting, some pro-gun nuts find ways to blame it on the victims because they weren’t carrying a gun.

This dude blames one of the victims because he was a legislator who actively campaigned against allowing guns in churches.  As if that is some sort of crazy far left-wing position that made him some sort of fringe politician.

What kind of whacked out liberal would oppose guns in churches?

The NRA solution to gun violence is always MOAR GUNZ! I guess I understand because that’s their solution to everything.

One wonders, though, if just once they could wait until the bodies are in the ground.

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Shit that Pissed me off – 5/29

Catholic Church Says Legalization of Same-Sex Marriage in The Republic of Ireland is a “Defeat for Humanity”

Cardinal Raymond Burke was featured here just last week.  I think it is fair to say that he has a big problem with homosexuals.

He also seems to have an even bigger problem with people who feel homosexuals have a right to exist without feeling ashamed of themselves.  While even the Pope seems a bit wishy-washy regarding church dogma on this particular topic, Burke is not.

He even went as far as to say “Pagans may have tolerated homosexual behaviours, they never dared to say this was marriage.”

If I say a complete non sequitor, maybe nobody will notice I'm an intolerant asshole!

If I say a complete non sequitur, maybe nobody will notice I’m an intolerant asshole!

Whoa, dude! You know you owe the pagans a lot, right?

If it weren’t for the pagans, we wouldn’t know when Jesus was born.  Or when he died.  We wouldn’t have an entire holiday devoted to drinking if St. Patrick hadn’t needed to drive those pesky pagans snakes out of Ireland.

So disrespect the gays, my friend.  It seems like the only way to get ahead in your particular line of work.

But leave the pagans out of this.  What have they ever done to you?

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 5/8

In Spite of the Insistence of Several Texans, the Pentagon is Not Taking over Texas

The US is engaging in some military exercises in the state of Texas (and several other southern states).  I presume the military does this sort of thing all the time.  Sometimes they do it in Texas.

I also presume if they did this sort of maneuver under President Bush (either one), nobody in Texas gave a shit.  Maybe a few whackadoodle liberals but nobody else.

The conservatives don't have to stage a coup to take over Texas, pal.  They've already won.  You should move.

The conservatives don’t have to stage a coup to take over Texas, pal. They’ve already won. You should move.

This whole thing probably started with some whackadoodle conservatives (like Chuck Norris).  But it rapidly moved up the chain to Ted Cruz and Texas Governor Greg Abbott.  Abbott has ordered Texas State Guard troops to “monitor” the exercises.  I assume this is because Obama has exhibited a pattern of trying to take over conservative states by force during his first six years in office.

The political saber rattling to appease the stupid, paranoid wing of the Republican party is just dumb.

Tragically, though, the biggest issue is this: Obama isn’t actually trying to take over Texas!  Those folks in Austin can’t hold out forever!

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 5/1

Guy Kicks Hiking Trail off of His Property Because Hikers are Being Assholes

The Superior hiking trail is getting a permanent detour because some hikers seem to think that signs saying “no camping” and “private property” mean “camp here any time you want!”

The signs also mean “verbally abuse people doing stuff you don’t approve of” and “throw trash everywhere.”

This sign also, apparently, means

This sign also, apparently, means “feel free to leave the trail anywhere you like!”

While I’ve never hiked the superior trail and I probably never will, I’m still annoyed that a bunch of jackass hikers made things so difficult for the landowner that he decided to kick the trail off of his property.  I could wish the guy would have been willing to deal with the issues but since the land belongs to him, he gets to decide when he’s had enough.

As of today, those dipshits who couldn’t manage to follow the rules when they were on someone else’s land will be equally adept at ignoring the rules when they are on public land.  But at least one guy won’t have to deal with it.

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Death Threats: The Mic Drop of the Internet

6a00d8341c652b53ef0133f4fe59e7970b-800wiLately I’ve been noticing that the default response to someone doing something you dislike on the internet is to send them a death threat.

Say you aren’t going to serve pizza to gay people?

Death threat!

Say you ARE going to serve pizza to gay people?

Death threat!

Be a woman with an opinion that you choose to say out loud?

Death threat! Rape Threat!  Public exposure of your address, phone number, and place of business!  But you shouldn’t take it so personally!

It has become clear a death threat is the internet equivalent of a mic drop.

Think you have a cogent argument?  I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!

BOOM!  Your argument is invalid!

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Shit that Pissed me off – 3/20

Prosperity Gospel Preacher Needs Money To Buy a Private Jet

Creflo Dollar – which I confess is the best name for a pastor ever – needs a new private jet so he can fly around the world bringing the good word to people who can’t afford proper nutrition.

He just needs 200,000 people to reach into their pockets and give 300 dollars apiece.  When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound like quite so much money. I mean, you’re really just giving it to god.  Through an intermediary, sure, but Dollar will make sure every cent gets to god.

He might use a few thousand dollars to pay his gardener but other than that, all the money goes to god.

He might use a few thousand dollars to pay his gardener but other than that, all the money goes to god.

Well, I mean, he’ll put in a good word for you with god.  Not personally, of course, because 200,000 is a lot of names.  But god will know.

What Dollar is doing is using god to justify his lavish lifestyle and getting the faithful to foot the bill.

Do we all think Dollar will use that new airplane exclusively for spreading the gospel or do we think it might get used for a family vacation or two?

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