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Shit that Pissed me off – 6/26

Writers note: What with landmark Supreme Court rulings in favor of Obamacare and same-sex marriage this week, I contemplated taking a week off.  I mean, why be pissed when two things I strongly support are taking their victory lap?

Sadly, there are still things that piss me off.  Please accept, though, that I am writing this week’s column with a satisfied smile on my face.

What the Fuck is Wrong with Clarence Thomas?

While Antonin Scalia can be counted on for red faced dissenting opinions in which he bemoans the fact that social liberals exist, much less occasionally win, Thomas’ dissent in the same-sex marriage case is positively draconian.

In it, he suggests that slaves in America and the Japanese Americans who were interred during WWII did not lose their dignity.  He reasons (wrongly) that nobody can take away your dignity.

It seems odd that anyone would need to tell a black man how the system of slavery in the south was specifically designed to strip people of their dignity.  It is certainly odd that I, a white guy, seem to be more aware of this fact than him. Calling a person “property” doesn’t feel particularly dignified.

While Scalia is bemoaning the death of our democracy, Thomas seems to be questioning the definition of our humanity.  He wants to believe that we all have a limitless capacity for handling bullshit and the Government has no responsibility to make it stop.

If anyone here felt they lost their dignity, it was their own fucking fault!

If anyone here felt they lost their dignity, it was their own fucking fault!

Government can and has taken away human dignity. Today, it handed a little bit of dignity back.

What really bugs me about Scalia and Thomas is their dissent doesn’t feel like it is about law.  They are personally pissed that they lost and because they are justices on the Supreme Court, they get to write a long dissertation on just how pissed off they are.

Guess what guys? So do I. And a nearly unmeasurable fraction of the people who read yours also read mine!

SUCK ON THAT!!!!

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Shit that Pissed me off – 5/29

Catholic Church Says Legalization of Same-Sex Marriage in The Republic of Ireland is a “Defeat for Humanity”

Cardinal Raymond Burke was featured here just last week.  I think it is fair to say that he has a big problem with homosexuals.

He also seems to have an even bigger problem with people who feel homosexuals have a right to exist without feeling ashamed of themselves.  While even the Pope seems a bit wishy-washy regarding church dogma on this particular topic, Burke is not.

He even went as far as to say “Pagans may have tolerated homosexual behaviours, they never dared to say this was marriage.”

If I say a complete non sequitor, maybe nobody will notice I'm an intolerant asshole!

If I say a complete non sequitur, maybe nobody will notice I’m an intolerant asshole!

Whoa, dude! You know you owe the pagans a lot, right?

If it weren’t for the pagans, we wouldn’t know when Jesus was born.  Or when he died.  We wouldn’t have an entire holiday devoted to drinking if St. Patrick hadn’t needed to drive those pesky pagans snakes out of Ireland.

So disrespect the gays, my friend.  It seems like the only way to get ahead in your particular line of work.

But leave the pagans out of this.  What have they ever done to you?

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 5/22

Jeb Bush Criticizes Intellectual Arrogance in Climate Change Debate

Bush is looking to raise money so he can be the third member of his family to be President.  To do so, he has to pander to the extreme right wing of his own party and that means his personal opinion on global Climate Change is irrelevant.

The evidence shows that our climate is changing so the right is now simply suggesting that it may or may not be caused by human beings.  Who knows? Aside from almost all of the scientists studying the phenomena.  Most of them seem pretty certain.

I'm going to be working in hostile environments and paying off student loans until I'm 50 just so people can call me "intellectually arrogant."

I’m going to be working in hostile environments and paying off student loans until I’m 50 just so people can call me “intellectually arrogant.”

Anyway, Bush goes so far as to say believing the scientific community amounts to intellectual arrogance.

It’s all so cynical because Bush is saying these things to raise money.  Solving a potential global crisis doesn’t matter to him or the people giving him money.  They genuinely don’t give a fuck if climate change is caused by humans or not.

Because no matter what is causing it, they don’t want to do anything about it.

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Shit that Pissed me off – 2/13

Christian Radio Host Upset Obama Doesn’t Pander to her Faith

There was an interfaith prayer breakfast last week and conservative radio host Janet Mefferd was not amused.  All that liberal lip service to other religions did nothing to spare her from hell, she said, nothing at all!

Janet, this may come as a genuine surprise to you but nowhere in the job description for President of the United States does it include “spare people from hell.”  The President has literally zero obligation to spare you from hell.

We're burning in hell!  Thanks, Obama!

We’re burning in hell! Thanks, Obama!

I get that being spared from hell is a big thing for you.  So big, in fact, that you believe everyone should be working to save your immortal soul at all times.

I’m sure when Obama is no longer President, he can devote some valuable time to your soul.  Until then, he will be forced to think about everyone else in America.

It isn’t personal.  It’s his job.

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What if Darwin Presumes that God Speaks to Him?

Speaking-with-authority-300x244I never really believed in god.

What I mean by that is I never believed in god as he was presented to me in Sunday school.  My logical brain couldn’t reconcile the inconsistencies of an all loving god all-knowing god who held his own creation responsible for being imperfect.

What became very clear to me was god existed as an authority figure to lend support to the beliefs of the person speaking for him.  If you believe that homosexuality is wrong, you don’t have to be the bad guy.  It isn’t you – it’s god.

And because you are using an unquestionable authority, you can get other people to believe as you do.  You didn’t convince them.  God convinced them.

The idea of theism alone isn’t a damaging concept.  If you want to believe that something created the universe, you aren’t hurting anyone.

When you work to convince people you know what that being is thinking, I think you can begin to do harm.

In the debate over same-sex marriage, there are people of all faiths who think it is right and people of all faiths who think it is wrong.  They are both using the ultimate authority of god to support their claim.

But what if none of them knows what god thinks?  What if no-one has a direct line to heaven?  What if we need to figure this stuff out for ourselves without an authority who cannot be questioned?

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Shit that Pissed Me Off – 1/30

Oklahoma Works to Make Same-Sex Marriage Harder

They lost in the courts so now some legislators are trying to make same-sex marriage harder by preventing judges from signing marriage certificates.  Instead, Representative Todd Russ wants to ensure that only priests or “ecclesiastical dignitaries” will be able to sign marriage certificates.

In case you were wondering if “ecclesiastical” could refer to anyone who wasn’t a Christian, it can’t.

This bill, most likely, has no chance of becoming law so it isn’t really worth a lot of bile.

And yet we see the ugliness in the desire to prevent gay people from entering into a legally binding marriage.  Not only would this bill prevent homosexuals from being married unless they could find a supportive Christian minister, it would prevent Muslims, Jews, atheists and every other group from legal marriage.

Before I say the homily, I just wanted to welcome all the same-sex, atheist, Jewish and Hindu couples who have suddenly converted to Catholicism.

He’s willing to discriminate against everyone to make sure gays can’t get married.

But don’t call him a homophobe because that’s offensive.

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Shit That Pissed Me Off – 10/17

Feminist Speaker Forced To Cancel Her Talk After She was Threatened

She didn’t cancel the talk because she was threatened, you understand.  She was still going to speak.

But she asked for protection against someone who claimed he was going to open fire on her and Utah law prevented police from patting down attendees at the event.

So a guy (I’m assuming it was a guy) threatens to shoot her and the police can’t even stop anyone from carrying a gun to her talk.  Because the right to carry a firearm wherever the fuck you want is more important than the right to keep people with firearms out of a place where someone has threatened to kill people with a firearm.

And spare me the good guy with the gun/bad guy with a gun thing.  If the bad guy with a gun gets into the event, he (again I’m assuming it is a guy) will be able to kill his target before anyone kills him.  And that’s all he cares about.

So best case scenario is this asshole (who was probably making empty threats but they still worked) would have died after accomplishing his stated goal.  Which is what he expected would happen anyway.  Great solution, Utah!

Utah!  Where you can't stop homosexuals from getting married and you also can't stop people from bringing their guns to the wedding!

Utah! Where you can’t stop homosexuals from getting married and you also can’t stop people from bringing their guns to the wedding!

Please note that I’m not talking about Gamergate for a few reasons.  First, it has been talked to death and the people doing most of the talking are assholes who don’t deserve my time.

And second, we need to stop naming every scandal after Watergate.  It is just so completely unoriginal.  Have you guys heard of the Teapot Dome Scandal?  That’s a great name for a scandal!  Now everything is NounGate.

Nixon is dead, folks.  We need to move on.

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