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The Sound of Your Voice

This weekend, someone told me that they hated the sound of their voice.  I replied with a much too flippant “everyone hates the sound of their voice.”

Flippant or not, I think my response was kind of true. Our voices sound different to us than they do to everyone else.  When we hear a recording of our voice, we are likely to have an Yzma moment. f30c7262c3ccfa8a271c83eb425477cf Yes, I’m sad to say.  That is your voice.  Nothing you can do about it except get used to it.  Because you want to know who doesn’t think your voice sounds weird? Everyone else.  Many of them have been listening to you for years and do you know why none of them have complained about how horrible you sound when you speak? Read More…

Shit that Pissed me Off – 4/10

Police Officer Shot a Man in the Back and was Caught Lying About it

If you click through to the link, there is video of a man being shot to death.  That’s important to know because you might not want to watch such a thing.

Early reports about this incident indicated that the victim tried to take the officer’s taser and the officer shot him in self-defense.  That was the story the officer repeated over and over again.  And it was a lie.

If I said I didn't like ice cream, it would also be a lie.  A harmless lie.  Unlike this lie.

If I said I didn’t like ice cream, it would also be a lie. A harmless lie. So when the officer lied to save his skin, it’s kind of like that, right?

Even if the victim had tried to take a taser before the video starts, it is obvious he posed no threat to the officer when he was running away and eight bullets were fired at his back.

Without that video, the officer would not be facing murder charges.  Thousands of people would be telling us that we weren’t there so we couldn’t know what really happened.  We should take the word of the police officer because why would he lie?

I don’t know.  Maybe for the same reasons as anyone else?

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Shit that Pissed me off – 3/20

Prosperity Gospel Preacher Needs Money To Buy a Private Jet

Creflo Dollar – which I confess is the best name for a pastor ever – needs a new private jet so he can fly around the world bringing the good word to people who can’t afford proper nutrition.

He just needs 200,000 people to reach into their pockets and give 300 dollars apiece.  When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound like quite so much money. I mean, you’re really just giving it to god.  Through an intermediary, sure, but Dollar will make sure every cent gets to god.

He might use a few thousand dollars to pay his gardener but other than that, all the money goes to god.

He might use a few thousand dollars to pay his gardener but other than that, all the money goes to god.

Well, I mean, he’ll put in a good word for you with god.  Not personally, of course, because 200,000 is a lot of names.  But god will know.

What Dollar is doing is using god to justify his lavish lifestyle and getting the faithful to foot the bill.

Do we all think Dollar will use that new airplane exclusively for spreading the gospel or do we think it might get used for a family vacation or two?

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 3/13

Hasbro Seems to Have Forgotten Someone

Hasbro has announced they are releasing a line of 24 Star Wars figures to coincide with the digital re-release of the films.  That is awesome because I can buy them for my kid.  And then play with them myself.

However, they seem to have forgotten the most badass character in the original trilogy.

Nope.  Han is there.  So is Chewbacca.

Do I have to hide some plans inside a droid to help you figure it out?

Do I have to hide some plans inside a droid to help you figure it out?

Where, I ask you, is Princess Leia?  They can include a two fucking battle droids but can’t seem to include one of the most important characters from the original trilogy?

Memo to Hasbro: nobody gives a shit about battle droids.  Nobody.

I realize the Star Wars universe is not full of women but if you can find room for Padme Amidala in your 24 figures, you can sure as hell find room for Leia.

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Gaming With Kids

llama5Tabletop gaming has become a major thing these days.  Recently, we took an inventory of the tabletop games in our house and discovered we have over 150.  We’ve acquired at least ten more games since then.

We’ve also purchased expansion packs for games we already have but I’m not going to count those because they aren’t new games.

Number of games we’ve gotten rid of in the same amount of time: zero.

As you can see, we have something of a problem.  We are quite literally running out of shelves to put all the games.

The obvious solution is to attempt to play every game in our house at least once.

I know what you are thinking and no, the solution is not to dispose of the games that we’ve owned for over ten years and never played once.  That would be allowing the game to win.

There are two wrinkles in this plan.  The first is probably obvious – when we like a game, we want to play it more than once. I, for instance, could spend an entire weekend playing “Legendary” and still want to play it again.

Because the rest of my family does not feel the same way I am, I think rightly, considering having them replaced.

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Shit that Pissed me off – 1/2/15

United and Orbitz are Suing a Guy for Exploiting a Loophole

I just keep thinking if the dude is exploiting a loophole in your system and you want him to stop, you could just close the fucking loophole.

Instead of figuring out that problem, they are suing a guy who isn’t making any money.  He just outsmarted them.  What an asshole, right?

I said sue the smug fucker!  Why would I want to hire him?

I said sue the smug fucker! Why would I want to hire him?

They have lawyers sitting around waiting for something to do.  It’s probably cheaper for them to threaten this kid than it is for them to figure out how to fix the gap in their own procedures.

Or they could just accept that some people are going to get a cheaper fare and stop giving out free pop on flights.  I mean, they’ll do that eventually anyway, right?

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Shit that Pissed me off – 12/19

Sony Pulls The Interview Then Paramount Pulls Team America

I’m one of a comparatively small number of people who has actually seen The Interview and I’m frustrated because the movie is funny and now it is up in the air if anyone else will ever see it.

When people accuse Sony of cowardice, I think they fail to understand the extent of the hack that was perpetrated against them.  Besides, why put a movie into release if nobody is going to show it?  Remember, the whole idea behind the film industry is to make a profit.  You don’t make a profit if your movie is only showing in five theaters.

Paramount, on the other hand, shouldn’t give a flying fuck about allowing exhibitors to show a film that was released years ago.  I have no idea why they went belly up on this one.  The only theaters showing it were theaters that wanted to show it and didn’t give a crap about terroristic threats that are considered unfounded.  So let ’em show it.  What the hell?

America! Fuck Yeah!  Well....fuck maybe....

America! Fuck Yeah! Well….fuck maybe….

Anyone out there who thinks terrorism doesn’t work should use this attack as exhibit one.  Whoever did this torpedoed a film.  Two films, really.  The terrorists won this round with a remarkably minimal effort.

And hey, if this is really North Korea getting a stick up its ass about a less than flattering portrayal of their glorious leader, I have a really good idea.  They can make a film about some North Korean journalists trying to kill a US President.

I guarantee that no matter how much effort they put into making Obama look like a buffoon, he still won’t look any worse than the average Tea Partier’s concept of him.

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