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Shit that Pissed me Off – 11/13

A Bunch A Few Christians are Pissed about a Coffee Cup

Starbucks has unveiled their holiday coffee cup design and it is boring.  It is literally a red cup. Their marketing team has covered up the fact they apparently chose not to hire a graphic designer this year by saying the plain red cup allows people to assign their own holiday story to the cup.

Which, I have to tell you, is one of the dumbest marketing ideas ever.  A coffee cup is not a tabula rasa and I sincerely doubt the next Pulitzer prize will have anything to do with the color red or coffee.

A few Christians (a very few) have decided, however, that this cup represents the first salvo in this year’s War on Christmas (TM)!

How dare Starbucks fail to emblazon their cups with snowflakes or snowmen as in years past?  Snow, of course, being one of the most recognizable symbols of Christmas the world over.


Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!

One only has to do a little digging to discover that Starbucks still sells gift cards that say Merry Christmas and they still sell Christmas Blend coffee and they still sell fucking advent calendars!

If Starbucks is engaged in the War on Christmas (TM), they are clearly not fully committed to the fight.

This whole story, by the way, is amazing.  You have Bristol Palin saying it is a conspiracy by the left to make the Christian right look dumb.


You have the guy who started the thing looking like an idiot when he defends his bullshit opinion.

And, of course, you have Starbucks.  They have made so much money off of this “controversy,” they must be hoping it goes on for a least another couple of months.

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Shit that Pissed Me Off – 11/6

What the Fuck is Wrong with you, Houston?

Houston voters repealing an LGBT rights ordinance was only one of several shit results from Tuesday’s election.

What’s that?  You didn’t know there was an election on Tuesday?

That’s because it was an off year and even though city councils and school boards have a lot more impact on our day to day life, most of us can’t be bothered to get off of our asses and take the ten minutes required to go to our polling place and cast a vote.  Call it twenty minutes if you actually want to do some research before you get there.

I don't know anything about the candidates! If only there was something that could allow me to locate that information quickly and efficiently!

I don’t know anything about the candidates! If only there was something that could allow me to locate that information quickly and efficiently!

In Houston, they had passed an ordinance protecting the rights of the LGBT community and a bunch of paranoid, prude, fuckwits turned the debate into a question about whether or not you wanted your daughter to be in the same bathroom with a trans woman.

By putting it on the ballot in an off year, they ensured they could get a whole bunch of other paranoid, prude, fuckwits to the polls to make sure trans women used the men’s room because that’s where they belong!  Also trans men have to keep using the ladies room but something tells me nobody is nearly as concerned about that.

Here’s a lesson to every apathetic voter everywhere – the people who show up can get things done.  And in Houston, the people who showed up told the trans community to go fuck itself while a whole bunch of other people stayed home and figured they weren’t trans so who gives a shit.

In Afghanistan, They Stoned a Woman to Death for Adultery

They dug a hole in the ground and men threw rocks at her head until she died.

Because she had been forced into a loveless marriage and tried to escape with another man.  No word on what happened to the man.  I’m betting he’s still alive because fuck women.

For every guy who complains about feminism, there is a story like this one that points out women worldwide have to deal with shit guys simply don’t.  Not only that, but if a woman breaks the rules society places upon them, a bunch of guys literally get to throw rocks at her head.

This isn’t a metaphor.

A bunch of men decided she deserved to die for being in love with a man she hadn’t been forced to marry and then another bunch of men willingly killed her.

So, dear men trying to convince me that your life is tough too and why doesn’t anyone respect you for all your sacrifices, you need to shut the fuck up.

Here’s a Meme that Pissed me Off!

I love this one because it is filled with half truths and also makes a whole bunch of bullshit assumptions.  Shall we begin?


All right Mrs. Smug self righteous defender of the underpaid military, let’s start with the obvious.

Even if the military is underpaid, and while they get health care, lodging, food, and other benefits a McDonald’s hourly employee does not, I still agree that they are not paid well, that doesn’t mean a McDonald’s employee is not also underpaid.

Wages aren’t a continuum where you decide how important a job is to you personally (because it’s all about you) and then decide how much that person should be paid relative to the amount someone else with a different job should be paid.

And seriously person who probably doesn’t flip burgers for a living, the value you place on flipping burgers really shows how much of an elitist jackass you are.  I’m willing to bet you don’t want to flip burgers.  I know I don’t want that job.  It sucks.  So before you decry people for being unskilled labor, you need to think about the fact that you wouldn’t flip burgers for any amount of money.  They could pay you $100,000 a year and you still wouldn’t want to stand over a hot griddle for 40 hours a week listening to entitled fucks (like you) telling you that you are overpaid and I said NO ketchup (or catsup) you illiterate idiot!  OF COURSE I want fries with that!

You know the other thing about the military?  When most people enter the military, they are also unskilled labor!  The military spends a lot of time and money training them to be skilled labor.

So how about we all stop judging people for wanting to be paid more.  Because everyone wants to be paid more.  I’ll bet judgy mcjudgerton Facebook lady also wants to be paid more for what she does.  And she’d probably think some lawyer was a jackass if he posted some bullshit Facebook update about how she doesn’t deserve a raise.

In all honesty though, I’m not really annoyed at elitist Facebook lady.  I’m annoyed at all the people who shared her post because they don’t get it either.

A Small Town in Missouri is Totally Punishing a Young Woman Because she was Raped by a Guy they Like

Everyone says Darren Paden is a great guy.

He’s a great guy who raped a girl at least 200 times starting when she was five years old.  Sounds like a pillar of the community.

So while folks in Dearborn, MO are totally bummed that this guy is about to go to jail forever (after a guilty plea), they are pretty annoyed at the girl who accused him.  She recently was turned down for an apartment because she was repeatedly raped by this great guy.

We can't have rape victims here! You'd just attract sexual predators!

We can’t have rape victims here! You’d just attract sexual predators!

They say his confession was coerced.  The poor guy was forced to admit to serial rape by this horrible seventeen year old girl who will never lead a truly normal life.  Clearly she had it out for him.

Look, I knew a guy who did this sort of thing once.  Everyone said he was a great guy.

He wasn’t.  He raped a kid.  And he went to jail.  Just like this asshole.

Did You Hear the One about the Rock Star Who Can’t Record an Album

I’m not a big fan of Ke$ha.  I’m not into her music.  But you know what?  She ought to be able to record an album if she wants.  And apparently, she would really like to record an album.

Why can’t she?

Because her contract states that she can’t record an album without Dr. Luke (holy fuck music people and their “cool” names) and he apparently has been sexually harassing her for years.  So she’d really rather record her album with – you know – someone who isn’t a toad.

What? I said "toad," not "frog!"

What???? I said “toad,” not “frog!”

It seems fair but a contract is a contract and that means endless litigation just so she doesn’t have to be around a sleaze.  Which also means she hasn’t put out a new album in three years in an industry where you need to keep producing work or face irrelevancy and endless casino concerts.

Now I don’t know anything about her contract or about whether or not she was actually sexually harassed (she almost certainly was) but seriously, it sucks that her career is stuck in the courts.  Someone should get this shit settled because artists should be allowed to make art.



Shit That Pissed me Off – 10/30

The Internet Rushes to Defend a Cop Who Beat up a Kid

I’m very careful to research the stuff I post for this blog.  I want to make sure I understand the complete story before I rage against something that isn’t nearly as bad as it first appears.  If my information comes from addicting info, I make sure I find another source.

So when a cell phone video of a “school resource officer” throwing a teenager around surfaced, you’d think I would look for the other side of the story.


See it literally doesn’t matter what the student was doing wrong prior to the video.  The extremely violent action was not provoked by a kid sitting at a desk.  Even a kid refusing to leave the classroom.  The officer lost his cool and physically assaulted a child.

To enter a dialogue saying “well she must have done something to deserve that action” ignores the fact that circumstances in which someone deserves to be beaten up are extremely rare.

Did Apollo Creed deserve to be beaten up by Rocky? Or Rocky by Apollo? If only they had just talked it out.

Did Apollo Creed deserve to be beaten up by Rocky? Or Rocky by Apollo? If only they had just talked it out.

If the assault had been committed by a guy who wasn’t in uniform, nobody would be trying to make excuses for his act.  But he’s a cop so he clearly did everything right and his actions shouldn’t be questioned, right?


He’s a cop.  So he should know better.

And the rest of us should stop trying to find an excuse to blame the victim.  When someone starts hitting a person who is not hitting back, the person doing the hitting is to blame.

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Shit that Pissed me off – 10/23

Another Hearing about Benghazi

In spite of the fact it has been publicly stated that these hearings are nothing more than an attempt to discredit Hilary Clinton as a presidential candidate, the Senate held more hearings about Benghazi this week.  In what should come as no surprise, the committee spent considerable time discussing Clinton’s e-mails even after claiming they wouldn’t.

The saber rattling by the right about Benghazi is embarrassing.  It is done.  We are done.

The public doesn’t fucking care.

I mean, that isn’t true.  The far right cares and can’t get enough.  They think somewhere there is a smoking gun.  Ignoring, of course, the fact that the one body completely unqualified to find a smoking gun is the United States Congress.

The US Congress even concluded J. Harvey Oswald acted alone. I mean, they were right. But that isn't the point.

The US Congress even concluded Lee Harvey Oswald wald acted alone. I mean, they were right. But that isn’t the point.

If you would like to beat Hilary Clinton (or Bernie Sanders), oh Republican establishment, can I suggest you do it with better policies and better candidates?

Or are you already aware that won’t work?

Iowa Right to Life Director Doesn’t Really Know Much about Birth Control

I will never understand why pro-life advocates are not strongly pro birth control.  I mean, people will have sex.  It doesn’t matter how many purity rings you sell or how many abstinence only sex ed classes you teach.

Hell, married people who don’t want to have kids will have sex.

And if some of those women who want to have sex get pregnant, they might want an abortion.  Why wouldn’t you be in strong support of something that reduces the odds of an unwanted pregnancy in the first place?

I’m serious – there should be pamphlets about contraception and condoms at every pro-life event.  They should be handing that shit out in front of Planned Parenthood.  Here’s a good slogan: “use protection so you don’t even need to consider having an abortion!”

But they aren’t handing out condoms. In fact, after statistics have shown abortion rates in Iowa dropped after use of contraception increased, the head of Iowa’s Right to Life said:

I think that contraception, by and large, has a huge failure rate.

For the record, she is totally fucking wrong.  Used correctly, the failure rate of most contraception is less than 1%.

So – and I ask this with all respect – what the fuck is this really about?

Road Rage

I’m going to be the first to admit that I fucking hate other drivers.  All of them.  They are in my way and many of them engage in random lane changing or hang out in my blind spot or tailgate or drive too slow in the fast lane or don’t pull into the intersection to turn left until the light turns fucking yellow.

So I really understand road rage.

I am so angry, I will shake my fist at you in the rain!

I am so angry, I will shake my fist at you in the rain!

I don’t understand a guy who pulls out a gun and shoots another driver.  Nor do I understand a dude who swerves to hit a motorcycle.

When I get angry at another driver, I honk my horn at them.  If I’m super out of control, I might do it twice.

I feel like it is the proper way to say “you drive like a douchebag” without, you know, shooting them.

I know regular readers will be shocked that I didn’t complain about guns here.  So let me be clear, I’m not happy some asshole had a loaded gun in his car and shot a four year old.  He doesn’t get brownie points for admitting he murdered a kid because some other asshole cut him off in traffic.

Road rage is certainly made worse by a loaded gun.  But it is always bad.  The solution, of course, is for everyone else to stop driving.

Anti Geek Bullshit

So maybe you know (or maybe you don’t) that this week contained the date Marty and Doc Brown travelled to in Back to the Future II.

You may also know that a new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer dropped this week.

Geeks were understandably excited about these two events.  The former resulted in a whole lot of jokes.  Many of which were repetitive and/or not very funny.

The latter resulted in blog posts dissecting every single shot.

And, of course, both resulted in a bunch of people railing against the geeks for being so fucking excited about something they personally didn’t like.

It takes all kinds, I guess but here’s the thing: if someone is excited about Back to the Future because they fucking love those movies, why do you give a shit?  If you are pissed that people don’t love your favorite movie, you need to learn something about art.

Love of art is subjective.  And yes – the Back to the Future movies are art.

Pop art, sure.  But still art.

You don’t have to like it.  But you don’t have to unzip your fly and piss on it either.



Shit that Pissed me off – 10/16

LUSH is in Trouble for “Offensive” and “Pornographic” Ads featuring Women’s Butts

I think it is universally understood that women are never supposed to be naked in public.  Breast feeding is the sort of thing that should be done in private and goodness knows you should never feature the bare ass of a woman on a poster being displayed where children might see it.

The bare ass of a little cartoon girl, however, is completely OK!

The bare ass of a little cartoon girl, however, is completely OK!

Calling it “pornographic” seems a little bit excessive, though.  Right?  I mean, we are talking about butts here.  They don’t have dildos sticking out of them.

It seems to me that our threshold for what is pornographic is beginning to creep into the “any part of a woman’s body that is not her forearms or knees” territory.

Parents sure are concerned about what their kids might think about sex.  Having kids myself, this concern seems so completely baffling.  When my kids were young, they would probably have giggled at naked butts because they thought the word “butt” was funny.  Then they would have made fart jokes.

Because kids love fart jokes.

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Shit that Pissed me off – 10/9

No Hymen, No Diamond

No link on this one.  Do a Facebook search if you want to find it.

This Facebook group is dedicated to the idea that men deserve virgins to marry.  If a girl doesn’t have a hymen, they aren’t going to put a ring on it.

They also post a lot of really super funny misogynist jokes like “How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb…. 0, everyone knows feminists can’t change anything!”


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  Checkmate, feminists!  You haven’t changed anything at all!  Ever!

Well, sure.  You got the right to vote and paid family medical leave and legalized abortion but what have you done lately?

I shouldn’t give a shit about a bunch of insecure men’s rights assholes and for the most part, I don’t.  They are an embarrassment to other human beings but I believe their point of view is the minority and they just look like petulant douchebags who resent all the women that won’t date them because they are disrespectful cocks.

But I’m raising two boys.  And I’m trying to teach them that women should be loved and respected and afforded all the rights men take for granted.

And the existence of garbage like this makes my job a little bit tougher.

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 9/25

A Story about the Legends Football League

In case you’ve never heard of the Legends Football League, perhaps you might know of it by its previous name: The Lingerie Football League.  It is the only “professional” football league for women in the United States.

I put “professional” in quotes because the athletes aren’t paid, get no medical care, and are expected to play football in swimsuits.

The reason they wear swimsuits instead of, you know, pads, is because nobody will watch women play football unless they are scantily clad.  It’s all very depressing because the article points out that what these women really want to do is play football.

As a result they are exploited in almost every conceivable way.  And they allow and accept it because they get an opportunity to play football.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL???  What do you mean you didn't notice the score?

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL??? What do you mean you didn’t notice the score?

If you are a woman and your passion happens to be football, what other choice do you have?

It is not the fault of the women who are in the league.  They recognize the choice that they have to make and they make it freely.

I know these ladies aren’t ever going to be paid as well as men but I have to ask: shouldn’t they get paid something?  The league wouldn’t exist without the players and someone is making money. Too bad it isn’t the women who are, quite literally, the face of the league.

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