Shit that Pissed me Off – 5/8

In Spite of the Insistence of Several Texans, the Pentagon is Not Taking over Texas

The US is engaging in some military exercises in the state of Texas (and several other southern states).  I presume the military does this sort of thing all the time.  Sometimes they do it in Texas.

I also presume if they did this sort of maneuver under President Bush (either one), nobody in Texas gave a shit.  Maybe a few whackadoodle liberals but nobody else.

The conservatives don't have to stage a coup to take over Texas, pal.  They've already won.  You should move.

The conservatives don’t have to stage a coup to take over Texas, pal. They’ve already won. You should move.

This whole thing probably started with some whackadoodle conservatives (like Chuck Norris).  But it rapidly moved up the chain to Ted Cruz and Texas Governor Greg Abbott.  Abbott has ordered Texas State Guard troops to “monitor” the exercises.  I assume this is because Obama has exhibited a pattern of trying to take over conservative states by force during his first six years in office.

The political saber rattling to appease the stupid, paranoid wing of the Republican party is just dumb.

Tragically, though, the biggest issue is this: Obama isn’t actually trying to take over Texas!  Those folks in Austin can’t hold out forever!

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The Bull in our Stars

Constellations are weird.

I can understand people looking in the sky and seeing pictures.  I see pictures in the clouds all the time.

From our perspective, stars are just dots in the sky.  It makes a lot of sense that people would just play connect the dots.  Especially given our pre-disposition to finding patterns in everything.

What has always seemed strange to me, though, is the pictures that human beings have found in the stars.  Not all of them.  The big dipper makes sense.

bigdipper_december

I see a handle.  I see a cup.  It looks like a dipper. It also looks a little bit like the Tin Man’s oil can but I’m willing to call it a dipper.

It is also part of Ursa Major.  Which is supposed to look like a bear.

Ursa-major2

Ignore the picture of the bear juxtaposed over that group of stars and ask yourself: if you looked at that particular grouping of stars, would you immediately come to the conclusion it is a bear?

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 5/1

Guy Kicks Hiking Trail off of His Property Because Hikers are Being Assholes

The Superior hiking trail is getting a permanent detour because some hikers seem to think that signs saying “no camping” and “private property” mean “camp here any time you want!”

The signs also mean “verbally abuse people doing stuff you don’t approve of” and “throw trash everywhere.”

This sign also, apparently, means

This sign also, apparently, means “feel free to leave the trail anywhere you like!”

While I’ve never hiked the superior trail and I probably never will, I’m still annoyed that a bunch of jackass hikers made things so difficult for the landowner that he decided to kick the trail off of his property.  I could wish the guy would have been willing to deal with the issues but since the land belongs to him, he gets to decide when he’s had enough.

As of today, those dipshits who couldn’t manage to follow the rules when they were on someone else’s land will be equally adept at ignoring the rules when they are on public land.  But at least one guy won’t have to deal with it.

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The Hammer is Not My Penis

mlss_luigi-hammerEveryone has their strengths.  I’m good at many things but if I have one really stellar skill, it is in my ability as an MC.  I can host the shit out of stuff.

When I started with Vilification Tennis, I was a vilifier.  I was OK, I guess.  I didn’t suck.  But when I took over as the host of Vilification Tennis, I transformed the show.  I didn’t transform it by making myself the star of the show.  I transformed it because I figured out how to make the show look better to the audience.

I just have a basic understanding of how to run a show from the stage.  There is a reason that I’m the front guy for The Dregs.  Nobody has to tell me how to do it.  I just know.

Every now and again, though, something happens that freaks me out a little.  I get rattled.

We all get rattled sometimes.  It can be a challenge as an MC because you need to be focused on the show and on the moment.  If you are spending a bunch of the show worried about a choice you made, you aren’t in the moment.

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Death Threats: The Mic Drop of the Internet

6a00d8341c652b53ef0133f4fe59e7970b-800wiLately I’ve been noticing that the default response to someone doing something you dislike on the internet is to send them a death threat.

Say you aren’t going to serve pizza to gay people?

Death threat!

Say you ARE going to serve pizza to gay people?

Death threat!

Be a woman with an opinion that you choose to say out loud?

Death threat! Rape Threat!  Public exposure of your address, phone number, and place of business!  But you shouldn’t take it so personally!

It has become clear a death threat is the internet equivalent of a mic drop.

Think you have a cogent argument?  I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!

BOOM!  Your argument is invalid!

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Shit that Pissed me off – 4/17

Atheists put up a Billboard and After Five Days, It Gets Taken Down

Apparently, the owner of the lot where the billboard was posted told the advertising company that they needed to remove the ad or remove the billboard.  I would seem Jesus was threatened by the following sign:

O5djBKV

 

Holy fuck!  They were telling people who didn’t believe in god that they might not be the only ones!  How offensive!

Let’s turn this around for a moment.  Had a billboard read “Believe in god? You’re not alone,” would anyone have complained that the message was offensive?  Had an atheist owned the land where that billboard was posted, would they have demanded it be removed?

Of course not.  But if you don’t believe in god and you tell people about it, that’s offensive.  You are attacking their faith!

Except you aren’t.  You aren’t saying “aren’t people who believe in god stupid???”

Because you don’t think that.  Unless we are talking about the dude who bitched about this sign.  I think he’s kind of stupid.

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The Sound of Your Voice

This weekend, someone told me that they hated the sound of their voice.  I replied with a much too flippant “everyone hates the sound of their voice.”

Flippant or not, I think my response was kind of true. Our voices sound different to us than they do to everyone else.  When we hear a recording of our voice, we are likely to have an Yzma moment. f30c7262c3ccfa8a271c83eb425477cf Yes, I’m sad to say.  That is your voice.  Nothing you can do about it except get used to it.  Because you want to know who doesn’t think your voice sounds weird? Everyone else.  Many of them have been listening to you for years and do you know why none of them have complained about how horrible you sound when you speak? Read More…

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