Shit that Pissed me Off this Week – 8/31

Apologies to those hoping for lots of stuff from the Republican National Convention.  I just can’t get to riled up about a bunch of rah-rah speeches meant to serve as a sort of infomercial for the Republican product.  I get as annoyed by the Republican convention as I get excited by the Democratic convention.

Not much at all.

Boy, that Paul Ryan is a lying douchebag, though.

Mitt Romney Pandered to the Birthers?

I have to hand it to Romney.  Up to this point in the campaign, I haven’t given a shit about what he’s had to say because he’s been so unerringly dull.  He finally said something (sort of) interesting when he pointed out that nobody has asked to see his birth certificate.

You know why that is, right Mitt?  It’s because you are white.

Hey Mitt – if you could only ask to see one of these two guys’ birth certificates, which one would you ask?

I think we should start asking to see Mitt’s birth certificate, don’t you?  Hey Mitt, where the fuck is your long form birth certificate?  How do we know you aren’t Canadian?  Or from some Nordic country?  WE DEMAND TO KNOW!!!!

Upcoming season of “Sherlock” may be the last

DAMN THE BRITISH!!!  If you haven’t watched “Sherlock,” you have no idea why I’m so upset and that is your loss.  The series is fantastic.  The first season is streaming on Netflix.  Go watch.  Yes – right now.

Oh Benedict! Why did you have to have a career beyond this show?

If this next season is indeed the last, that means we get only nine episodes ever???? How unfair is that?  Why can’t the British do what we Americans do and continue to produce TV shows at least three years beyond the point they were actually interesting?

Would we rather have nine fantastic episodes or nine fantastic episodes and 80 OK ones?

What I’m trying to say is this: you “Firefly” fans don’t realize how good you have it.

Bill Nye Talks about Evolution on Youtube and the Commenters Will Make you want to Stab Yourself

Nye’s message about the problems with creationism are worth a watch no matter what so here, take a look.  It isn’t very long at all:

Now, whatever you do, don’t start reading the comments.  They will just make your brain hurt.

I’ll quote my “favorite”:

Answer me this then, if the Christian Faith is irrelevant to science…why was it a Christian “Isaac Newton” who discovered gravity?

Yeah, because Christianity was necessary for Newton’s discovery of gravity.  Newton’s Christianity was as relevant to his scientific discovery as Marie Curie’s vagina was to the discovery of Plutonium.

This kind of ignorant logic makes me sad.  As Nye points out so well, denial of evolution is the denial of one of the major cornerstones of modern science.  We want to believe we live in a great nation but we live in a nation that embraces ignorance.

You want to see how much we embrace ignorance?  Just read a few more comments.

Or you can just watch the response the Creation Museum produced.  They locked the comment section so no chance of getting pissed off there!

UK Columnist Says the Cure for Zombies is the Church

Really, she is saying that the cure for consumerism as represented by zombies is the Church.  I don’t know if the author has been to Vatican city and looked around but consumerism is alive and well in the Church.

What?? This thing is totally paid off!

Even so, the fact is there are churches everywhere.  America is full of churches.  Yet that doesn’t stop us from being one of the most consumption driven cultures on the planet.  The mega churches themselves are driven by millions of dollars in contributions from their members.

Lead pastors at these churches sometimes live in palatial homes and drive expensive cars.  Has god cured them of their desire to consume?

The Church does nothing to stop our insatiable desire to consume.  In America, I would argue that it feeds that desire.  The religious right has even been revising the bible to ensure that wealth and consumption is considered a good thing.

If zombies represent the consumerist culture, I would argue that the Church is feeding their hunger, not fighting it.

Bic for Her??  The Fuck???

Yes ladies, we know that you’ll use ball point pens more if they are in pretty pastel colors.  No garish dark blue for you!  Purples and pinks are what the ladies want!

They’ll go so well with your shoes!

If you want a good read, though, check out the comments section.  It seems Bic may have erred in what the ladies really want from their inexpensive ball point pens.

Bobby Jindahl Wines to Obama that he Isn’t Spending Enough Money 

Jindahl, an outspoken opponent of all things big government, is upset that Obama isn’t getting him Federal aid fast enough for a hurricane that (at the time he complained) hadn’t hit land yet.

Obama, it should be pointed out, had already declared an Emergency that will allow for federal dollars to flow into Louisiana once the hurricane passes but Jindahl was upset because they had to spend all sorts of money preparing for landfall and the feds haven’t helped with that.

Now, let me ask the obvious question: If George W. Bush was still President or if Obama was a Republican or if the Republican National Convention wasn’t this week, would Jindahl be complaining at all?

I think we all know the answer to that question.

Gay Activist Goes Undercover at a NOM Meeting and Reports his Experiences

The National Organization for Marriage (NOM) is fond of saying they are not anti-gay.  They are “just” anti gay marriage.

Well when you read this report from a seminar meant to educate students on the dangers of gay marriage by using discredited studies, misinformation and lies, you will see that they are anti-gay.  They just keep that face hidden from the public.

What is so bothersome about the anti gay marriage stance is the fact it is built almost entirely on false information.  In order to advance their agenda, they have to lie.

That they can do so with a straight face and a clear conscience is something I find horrifying.

Friar Suggests that Priests who Sexually Abused Teens Might Have Actually been the Victims

Yep.  You heard it here folks.  Priests weren’t the predators.  No, it was the teenaged boys they were having sex with!  The priests were vulnerable to these young mens’ wiles, you see.

That’s right, Father. I’m gunnin’ for you!

Also, he thinks that on a first offence, priests shouldn’t go to jail because they probably didn’t know they were committing a crime.  This guy is hilarious!

Then we have this little gem:

Pressed for clarification, the New York State-based religious leader explained that kids looking for father figures might be drawn to priests to fill a hole.

Fill a hole???  Did he really say that????  Someone tell me that this whole article is a joke.  It has to be a joke.  It reads like a joke.

Wakka wakka!

Dang!  I think it’s real.

Still, tell me you didn’t stifle a giggle when you read about kids looking for priests to fill a hole.

Parent Angrily Counts the Number of Uses of the word “Fuck” in a Book his Son will be Reading

This news broke early in the month but I just heard about it this week.  Sorry for being behind the times, folks!

Upon learning that his son would be reading the book “Robopocalypse,” concerned parent Sam Lee took the time to count up the number of F bombs that were dropped in the book and by the time he was halfway through the book, he had already reached fifteen!!!

Oh my fucking god!!!!

Look, I try not to swear around my kids and I do that because I feel certain language is not appropriate all the time. Having said that, I have no illusions about the number of times my junior high aged son hears the word “fuck” (or some variation) in a particular day.

I’m betting it’s more than fifteen.

And that’s junior High School.  By the time he reaches High School, he’ll probably hear that word at least fifteen times on the bus in the morning.

Mr Lee (no relation to Stan) seems to think that his kid can’t handle a frank discussion about coarse language because really all he has to do is tell his son that he doesn’t approve of using that language.  Then let his son read the book and make his own fucking decisions.

In order to avoid that awkwardly easy (and short) conversation, he decided to complain to the school and go to the news media about it.  Why yes, that was so much easier!

News flash Mr. Lee – your son is growing up.  He’s going to hear those words.  He’s going to read those words.  Stop being such a sensitive fuck.

1..2..3..4..5…Fuck!  Only five.

Now six.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.


Gay Couple Sues Airline after their Luggage is Opened and a Dildo is Left Sticking out for All to See

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had my luggage searched.  Almost every time I travel, our luggage is opened and searched on the return trip.  I presume this has to do with the fact that one suitcase is turned into a laundry hamper and it is filled with nothing but dirty clothes.

The disheveled look must be suspicious or something because it is always that suitcase which gets opened.  It’s stupid but whatever.  You want to look through my dirty underwear to make sure I didn’t stick a bomb in the middle, you go right ahead.

In this situation, not only was a gay couples’ bag searched, it was left open with the most embarrassing item left on top so everyone could see when it came down the conveyor.

Purple? Really guys, why not pink or mauve?  Nothing rhymes with purple!

Because I’ve had my luggage searched, I know that the only reason the airline folks would do something like this is if they wanted to embarrass the person who had the big purple dildo in their bag.

Mission accomplished.  That was a dick move.

Pun intended.

My Son’s Life Science Teacher Was Pretty Wishy Washy About Evolution

Next week is back to school week and on Thursday, we met my son’s teachers for 7th grade.  He’ll have Life Science this year and we were pretty concerned about how his teacher was going to approach evolution.  It’s a hot button topic and a lot of biology teachers avoid spending time on it.  We wanted to let her know that we feel pretty strongly about evolution  and we want to make sure that it is taught correctly.

Her responses troubled me deeply.  Maybe I’m being paranoid but there were troubling phrases she used that raised red flags.

For one, she said she taught evolution in the class because it was the state standard.  Well yeah, I know that.  I wanted her to say that she taught it because it is one of the fundamentals of biology.

She then said that about the only thing she says about creationism is that evolution is one theory and there are other theories out there but they won’t be addressed in this class.

What bothered me was her complete failure to acknowledge the definition of a scientific theory:

a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world, based on a body of facts that have been repeatedly confirmed through observation and experiment.

To place creationism/Intelligent Design on the same scientific footing as evolution by calling all of them “theories” fills me with concern for my child’s education.

Will she teach evolution?  I’m pretty sure she will.  She said she had to.  I’m just not convinced that she’ll teach it well or with the kind of conviction it should be taught.  I would have preferred she said that there were other opinions about how life began but none of them have stood up to scientific scrutiny.

Because that would be true.

Maybe I’m worried for no reason.  Still, you can bet I’ll be asking my son all sorts of questions about how evolution is being addressed when they start covering it during the 3rd quarter.

There is a Sonic Screwdriver Universal Remote and I don’t own one

Speaking of a consumptive economy, I’m totally going zombie over this device.

If the TSA left this sticking out of my luggage, I’d be bragging about it!

Do I need a Sonic Screwdriver universal remote?

What kind of idiot fucking question is that???  Of course I need one!  Then my TV can be all Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey.

I turn 45 in September.  I’m just saying – my birthday is coming up y’all.

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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