Alphabetical Movie Project – Jackie Chan’s First Strike

It had been a long time since I’d watched this particular Jackie Chan epic.

So long, in fact, that I spent at least 3/4 of the film thinking that I was watching Rumble in the Bronx.

As you may have guessed, it had also been a pretty long time since I’d seen Rumble in the Bronx.

I don’t mean to say that I was confused about what was going on in the film.  Jackie Chan films aren’t confusing.  All of them involve a bunch of guys failing to beat the crap out of Jackie.

For most of the film, though, I kept thinking “OK, so now he’s going to have to travel to the Vancouver The Bronx.”  I was still expecting him to get to Canaca New York as the closing credits started to roll and the familiar gag reel of Jackie Chan ensuring he’ll spend his old age in constant pain was playing.

It was a little jarring when I finally realized I wasn’t watching the film I thought I was watching.  “Hang on,” I thought, “I’m pretty sure that not a single part of Rumble in the Bronx took place in Australia.”

You know what?  I was right!

I was suddenly forced to re-think the plot of the entire film in light of the evidence showing that Chan had not spent a single moment of the film dealing with street gangs in the shadow of Grouse Mountain the Empire State Building.  There would be no hovercraft chase during the finale.

I had been robbed.

The crushing disappointment was mitigated somewhat by the fact that I could still enjoy Jackie engaging in a fight on a boat.  Sure the boat wasn’t a hovercraft but I could pretend it was a hovercraft and that was good enough.

Every time there was a fight scene, I would imagine the Canadian American extras would be shouting colorful New York clices like “welcome to Canada” “Get outta here” or “pardon me, could you tell me where I could find a Mountie?” “What the fuck is your problem?”  Never mind that they were probably saying things like “G’day mate” and “throw another steak on the barbie!”

That’s the thing about Jackie Chan’s Hong Kong films.  It doesn’t matter where they take place.  The plot is irrelevant.  All we care about is watching Jackie be Jackie.

As long as Jackie does seemingly impossible feats of athleticism, there is absolutely no reason to care that downtown Vancouver looks nothing like downtown New York.  Heck, there is no reason to care that you aren’t actually watching the movie you’d expected you were going to watch.

Jackie fights off a bunch of thugs using a ladder and all you end up thinking is “fuck yeah!  Jackie Chan!”

It doesn’t matter if the ladder is American, Canadian or Australian.

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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