I Feel Like I’ve done Something Right
Note: I’m not using any names here because I’m talking about kids and I don’t want there to be even the slightest chance that a child would suffer repercussions because of this blog post. Bullying is wrong and it’s cruel but these are kids and they can learn and grow and become better people.
My newly minted teenager has been dealing with bullying issues for a long time. Yesterday, his birthday, a boy who has been bullying him for over a year managed to get to him again.
That’s the trick, you know. To get to him. My son can brush off dozens of taunts but eventually, he will reach a breaking point. Yesterday, he reached a breaking point.
I know that doesn’t sound like something positive and it isn’t. I’m livid.
I know it’s wrong but I just want to smack that bully around for picking on my child. I want him to know what it’s like to be victimized so maybe he’ll cut it the fuck out. I want to go over to his house and ask his parents what they are doing to make their child stop being such an asshole to my child.
But for all the anger I’m feeling, I’m so proud of my son right now. Let me tell you why.
My son has been playing with another boy at recess and apparently, they enjoy doing some roughhousing. Yesterday, they were wrestling and my son had the other boy pinned underneath him.
When they returned to science class, the bully began taunting him by calling him “gay” and he was able to get other kids to join in. He also hit my son at least once. Eventually, my son lost control of his emotions and began screaming back at them. Telling them to leave him alone. Telling them to stop it.
But before he lost emotional control, he said this:
“There’s nothing wrong with being gay, but I’m not.”
I can’t tell you how pleased I am that my thirteen year old boy, who was rapidly losing emotional control, was able to tell these kids that there is nothing wrong with being gay. He’s so right.
“Gay” should never be tolerated as an insult in school. My son may not be gay but there is a good chance that another child in that middle school is gay. Maybe another child in that classroom. When they hear my son being taunted, those taunts hurt them.
It is especially bad in middle school where children are just starting to wrestle with questions of sexuality. A gay (or lesbian) child listening to the taunts against my child will feel more conflicted about their own sexual identity. They will be more afraid to talk about it and it may make it more difficult for them to come out.
I would hope that if there is a child dealing with those issues in that classroom, they were given some sort of comfort in the fact that another kid was being taunted with the label of gay and he responded by saying that the label was not offensive to him.
He wanted the kids to stop taunting him. He didn’t give a shit they were calling him gay.
I’m so angry right now because I hate seeing my son in pain. I hate the fact these kids did it on his fucking birthday. I hate the fact the bullies are in his science class since he loves science so much. I hate the fact that they were using the word gay as an insult.
But I’m proud too. I’m proud that my son knows that there is nothing wrong with being gay and he isn’t afraid to say it out loud.
I can only hope that the kids who were bullying him heard that and, at some point in the future, they recognize what an extraordinary statement that was.
And then I hope they break their arm skiing. Because I’m not above a little vindictiveness where my kids are concerned.
About PetsnakereggieGeek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.
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