Shit that Pissed me off this Week – 10/12

Antonin Scalia is a Dick

I honestly wonder if the dude even reviews law before he makes rulings.  His most recent comments seem to state that since anti-sodomy laws were on the books for 200 years, that makes them constitutional.

I guess we can be pretty certain he’s not going to be terribly supportive of marriage equality, is he?

See, I understand that there are different legal interpretations of a lot of things but what I don’t understand is how one dude who is so clearly an asshole who doesn’t give a shit about anything except making sure corporations can spend money however they please can have so much power over the rest of us.  Yeah, he’s one of nine but he’s one vote you can always count on.

And by that I mean, ask yourself how a jackass would rule on any particular topic and you can bet Scalia will vote that way.

Not that kind of jackass!

A Member of the House Science Committee Calls Evolution and the Big Bang “Lies Straight from the pit of Hell”

Remember, kids, whenever something doesn’t agree with your established world view, you can just blame it on the devil and that means all supporting evidence is wrong!  It’s as easy as that!  No need to read or think.

Science should not be political.  The veracity of a scientific result should not be based solely on your party affiliation.  And if you are going to be one of the members of our government tasked with overseeing federally funded scientific research, you should actually give a shit about science.

I just know this guy would cheerfully vote to fund a study designed to prove that Satan existed (even if the methodology was tragically flawed).

More fossils slaves! I need more fossils!

I’ll bet he wouldn’t vote to spend a dime on research that could actually tell us something because he doesn’t want to fund something that might give him results he doesn’t like.

“One Million Moms” is Protesting a Show that Hasn’t Aired Yet

I like this group even less than I like Focus on the Family and that’s saying a lot.  First off, their name is a lie.  They don’t have anywhere near One Million Supporters (male or female).  That means they are trying to bully advertisers into making decisions by implying their boycott will have far more impact than it actually does.

Aside from that, they are failures at everything they do.  I suppose I could admire their tenacity but when their primary cause seems to be “we don’t want to have to explain homosexuality to our kids,” most people figure that is their fucking problem.

Their campaign against JC Penny was so much of a failure, Penny’s has been doing more ads featuring homosexual couples.

Seems to me that they would have more success preventing their children from exposure to homosexuality if they stopped doing what they are doing.

Washington Opponents of Marriage Equality are Lying to Voters

Let me be clear that I’m sure this is just a small subset of the decent folk who are fighting to ensure that they enshrine discrimination in their state constitution but I think it’s indicative of the fact every one of their arguments is completely invalid

If their arguments had any validity whatsoever, they wouldn’t need to stoop to tricking people into voting for the amendment.

Look at the wookie!

Truth is, they have to  stoop to those tactics because the facts aren’t on their side, history isn’t on their side, and morality isn’t on their side.

When you are on the side that is engaging in dishonest tactics to earn votes, you are on the wrong side.

Mother Super Glued her 2 Year Old Daughter’s Hands to the Wall and then Beat her

The 23 year old mother of six was apparently having issues potty training a two year old so she snapped and beat the kid into a coma.  Now she’s going to jail for a very long time and her kids will have to be raised by someone else.

Thank goodness for that.  I can’t help but wonder, though, if the state will provide these kids anything or if they are on their own to deal with whatever psychological damage their mother inflicted upon them. If they aren’t, they are only marginally better off than they were when their mother was beating the crap out of them.

It is times like this I’m reminded of the following quote from Parenthood:

You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.

Or a mother.

CEO E-mails his Employees to Tell them that they Might Lose Their Jobs if Obama is Elected

The guy basically tells his employees that if Obama raises taxes on the wealthy, some of them will lose their jobs.

In the same e-mail, he also mentions that before the credit crunch, his company was “fat, dumb, and happy.”

So, in other words, he was making a shit ton of money and hadn’t adequately prepared his company for a stock market crash.  Then the crash hit and he had to shrink the size of his company.  He’s still building the largest private home in the country so I guess he’s doing OK.

Check out his piece of shit house. Obviously this guy can’t afford an income tax increase. He’ll have no choice but to lay off employees.

Yes, this guy is rich as fuck and can afford to pay extra income taxes without suffering a significant drop in his quality of life. However, what really bugs me is the simple fact the guy is using his position as CEO to tell his employees how to vote.

Oh, of course he doesn’t say that.  He says they can vote for whomever they want.  Then he says that if the Obama administration policies continue, many of those employees will risk losing their jobs.

So….vote your conscience or keep your job.

Life’s full of tough choices, isn’t it?  Either way your boss is going to keep his house.

Taliban Shoots 14 Year Old Girl in the Head and Neck Because She Wants an Education

You know – who gives a crap why they shot her in the head and neck?

Isn’t it bad enough that they targeted a fourteen year old girl for assassination?  Who does that?  Why would anyone look at a kid and think “hey – we are so completely opposed to what this kid is saying, we’re going to try to kill her?”  What kind of fucked up logic would result in the conclusion that shooting an unarmed 14 year old girl is anything but a cowardly and evil act?

Who cares why they did it?  The fact they would do it for any reason is what makes them worthy of universal contempt.

The fact they did it because they believe it is what god wants them to do makes it even worse.

Memo to every religion in the world: if there is a god, I’m pretty fucking sure he/she/it doesn’t want you to shoot fourteen year old girls in the head!!!

How is that not fucking obvious?

Archbishop Tells Woman to Reject her Gay Son or she Will Put Her Soul In Jeopardy

How’s that for providing comfort to the afflicted?

There are so many reasons I want the amendment to be struck down but perhaps the most important reason is to stick it to the Catholic Church.  With the amount of money they have spent and will spend on opposing gay marriage, they could have actually done some real good.

What if they just used that money to pay the medical expenses of parishioners who couldn’t afford it?

Or to feed the hungry in Africa?

Was Sinead O’Connor really so far off????

Instead, the church throws money at bigotry and tells confused followers that they have to choose between god and their own children.  What the fuck kind of loving god would force that kind of choice on someone?

I realize I’m going to piss a few folks off by saying this but it seems like the same kind of god who would tell people it’s OK to shoot an unarmed fourteen year old girl in the head.

Jerry Sandusky and his wife Blame Everyone but Themselves

While I fully realize that there are people who are wrongly sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit, I’m certain Jerry Sandusky is not one of those people.  How do I know this?  Because it would take a conspiracy of monumental proportions to build a case like this against a guy who was innocent.

I don’t know if Sundusky really doesn’t believe he did it or if he hopes that he can somehow manage to make this continual bullshit cry of “not guilty” convincing in an appeals court but his obstinacy is sickening.  Given how much it would help the victims to hear him say he’s sorry, he’s even more of a son of a bitch than we already thought because he not only failed to apologize, he has basically claimed that they are victimizing him.

In this illustration, Homer is as much of a victim as Jerry Sandusky

He’s an old man and he’ll eventually die in prison.  I hope he lives for a very long time and at some point, he comes to realize how much he deserves to be there.

Speaking of Victims, how about Kirk Cameron?

Cameron, who clearly doesn’t understand what anti-blasphemy laws are, claims that he has experienced the same thing after being interviewed by Piers Morgan this year.

Kirk, nobody has told you that you don’t have the right to be an asshole.  They just called you an asshole.  Nobody tossed you in jail. The authorities aren’t monitoring your Facebook page for subversive speech.

You get to go on telling homosexuals that they are going to hell and calling it love speech.  You can continue to mock science without any facts to back up your claims.  You can continue to get paid a lot of money to say these things in front of adoring crowds.

Getting a bronze bust does not qualify as persecution.

You have no idea what it’s like to live in countries with anti blasphemy laws.  None.

Please go back to talking about bananas.

Mitt Romney Claims no American Has Ever Died Because they Didn’t have Health Insurance

Uh….yes they have.

Mitt must be thinking of rich people like the dude with the big fucking house.  I don’t know if that guy has health insurance or not but I’m pretty sure that he can afford to pay a legion of doctors to fix a hangnail if he wants.

None of the Romney faithful give a shit that his statement is bullshit, of course.  They only care that Obamacare is the harbinger of the end times.  97% of them haven’t even read the Affordable Health Care so they don’t even know what they are so pissed about.

See Mitt?  I can make up statistics too.  Turns out it’s really easy.

Jurassic Park is Impossible

I love science but every now and again, scientists destroy our dreams.  Even if the odds strongly suggest that cloning velociraptors would result in the death of Samuel L. Jackson, that doesn’t stop any of us from wanting to do it, right?

I’d sacrifice a fleet of lawyers for a real T-Rex.

Alas, none of those is meant to be as it turns out you can’t preserve DNA in readable form for 65 million years.

Sorry kids, this will never happen.

So at this juncture, science has not given us flying cars, has confirmed that you can’t travel faster than light,  and has told us cloned dinosaurs are impossible.

Fuck you very much, science.