Alphabetical Movie – Johnny Mnemonic
I’ve been doing this Alphabetical Movie project for just over three years now and Johnny Mnemonic represents the first time I’ve ever been gifted a film just so I would be forced watch it. I’m actually pretty surprised it took so long.
I’ve had friends ask me how the rules work. Then they ask the inevitable follow-up question: “So if I give you a movie, you have to watch it, right?”
With a few caveats, yes, I have to watch it.*
I tell people this safe in the knowledge that I’ve been saying the same thing for three years and much as everyone’s eyes light up at the concept of gifting me Glitter, when it comes right down to spending money on the film, they will probably decide the joke isn’t worth the price. Also, most people have more important things to do with their time so five minutes later, they will have forgotten the conversation. That is fine, of course, as I have no need to watch Glitter. Again.
My Geeks Without God cohorts, however, have been salivating at the idea of presenting me with a crappy movie. Molly especially seems to be intent on searching bargain bins for especially painful cinematic experiences.
Given their desire to force something awful on me, I’m not surprised that they were the first people who have followed through on the threat that has been hanging over my head ever since I began this all too public exercise in obsessive compulsive behavior. They will not be the last, I imagine because now it has been done.
It is always difficult to be the first person to do something. The dam has been broken, however, and I anticipate a flood of horrible movies will find their way to my door.
By “flood,” I mean “at least two or three more.”
Which is fine by me. I was perfectly willing to slog through Johnny Mnemonic since I didn’t pay for the disc. Even if it was full screen.**
I’ll cheerfully slog through other bad movies that I don’t have to buy. Not a problem. Maybe I’ll write up some Alphabetical movie blogs while Star Trek V is playing in the background.
Seriously, the real pain isn’t watching movie like Johnny Mnemonic. That movie is just bad. It doesn’t offend my sensibilities.
You really want to put me through hell? Make me watch Left Behind.
*The caveats are as follows:
1) I’m only watching movies that have had a theatrical release. If you give me some straight to video crap, I don’t have to watch it.
2) You can’t just rip me a copy. It needs to be a purchased copy of the film. Otherwise things just get obnoxious. I’m also opposed to pirating movies (even Gigli).
3) If I’ve passed the film alphabetically, I will get around to watching it. It’s gonna take a while, though.
4) You can give me TipToes an many times as you like. I’m not going to watch it. I have my limits.
**Seriously – who spends their money on a full screen version of Johnny Mnemonic?