Shit that Pissed me Off This Week – 2/1

Women are Allowed to Serve in Combat So Some Men Make Douchetastic Comments

I really have to stay away from Man boobz because it just makes me want to apologize to every woman I meet for the fact that some guys are such insufferable pricks.

In the wake of a historic decision to allow women to serve combat duty, the folks over at A Voice For Men (no link provided because Fuck them) figure that it only works if women die as often as men. It’s only fair, apparently, that we talk about the casualty rate of women and apparently it isn’t “fair” until enough women are killed or wounded in combat.

They also seriously say men will face a higher risk of being killed in combat because they had to fetch a tampon for a female compatriot.

THIS could kill more soldiers than land mines!!!!

What?

Fuck you! You don’t think women in combat can be responsible for their own bodies? They have been serving on combat missions for years now and I haven’t heard of any male soldiers who have died in the line of tampon duty.

You know why? Because women can take care of themselves!

I realize some guys are pissed when they learn the unfortunate truth that women are capable of doing stuff for themselves. The rest of us (the rational people) realize that they have no right to be pissed at women because they are assholes.

In Arizona, a Legislator Wants to Withold a High School Diploma from Any Student Who Won’t Make a Loyalty Oath

I saw this article because atheists are upset about the inclusion of the worlds “so help me god” as a part of the oath. I have a huge problem with that part of the oath but we can’t ignore the fact that someone wants to pass a law requiring High School students to swear an oath to the United States in order to graduate.

Does anyone else see a problem with coercing kids into swearing loyalty to their country? Hell, the oath even includes the term “I take this obligation freely.”

Except it isn’t taken freely if you are legally obligated to say it. There is nothing free about that at all.

If this bill passes (and it probably won’t), it would require kids to recite an oath that many of them would only recite because they were forced to. And if they decided they couldn’t in good conscience say it, they could be barred from graduating high school.

This particular bill, by the way, is sponsored by a Republican. Can someone explain to me how this qualifies as smaller government?

Boy Scout Troop Tries to Adopt a pro-gay Policy and Then They are Forced to Back Off

So one troop tried to adopt a pro-gay policy and the Boy Scouts of America could have just ignored it. They could have let it be.

But the BSA is pretty committed to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Having started down that path, they seem to accept that forever it will dominate their destiny. To the point of telling individual troops that they can’t choose their own path on this one topic. They say they want to help boys transition to manhood but they are only willing to help certain kinds of boys. All of this is cloaked in religion but their policy is to the detriment of the organization and the detriment of the boys they claim they want to serve.

A scout is trustworthy, loyal, brave and STRAIGHT!!!

It’s time to stop this nonsense.

Note: the BSA will be re-considering their policy in February. I remain skeptical until I see some actual movement towards change on a national level.

Pro-Gun Advocates Heckle the Father of a Newton Shooting Victim Because he is Not

The problem with political discourse in this country is that we are incapable of separating our political opinion from our sense of decency.

I understand (and disagree with) the folks who believe that any and all gun control is wrong. They want their gunz. I get it. They want all the gunz they can get.

But this other guy might have a point to make as well. And his six-year-old son is dead! You are going to get your chance to speak. How about you shut up and let a grieving father have his say?

Then you can shout “second amendment” without bothering to memorize what it actually says.

I’ll bet you would have shut your mouths if the father was speaking in support of gun rights. He wasn’t though, so you decided to act like unruly assholes. And then you wonder why some folks are concerned that you want all the gunz.

Filipino Man is About to be Jailed for Hurting the Church’s Feelings

No shit. That is an official law in the Philippines. You can go to jail for up to a year if you hurt the feelings of the Catholic Church.

I would think this is a big enough shell to protect just about any ego, wouldn’t you?

To the big guy in Rome, I just have to ask this question: what, exactly, is Christlike about sending a guy to jail because he hurt your feelings? Is that in one of the gospels I haven’t read? “How Blessed is the Catholic Church for none shall ever suffer to hurt its feelings?”

Sorry, that was three questions.

You are, by some measures, the largest church in the world. As I’ve said before, I’ve been to Vatican City and I don’t want to judge based on the priceless works of art and the thousands of people forking over $20 to visit your museum every day but I have to guess that you are doing pretty well financially. Going by the teachings of your church, have you considered figuring out how to get Vatican City through the eye of a needle instead of throwing a guy in jail because he bruised your ego?

Louisiana State Legislator is Shocked to Discover that the Voucher Program she Approved Could fund Muslim Schools

Valarie Hodges was under the impression state funds would go to support schools that taught our Founding Father’s Religion. She was shocked to discover that Christianity is not the only religion that operates schools in the great state of Louisiana!

Boy, this pictures doesn’t make her look all that dumb!

If she can’t handle that revelation, one wonders what she will do when she learns that not all of our founding fathers were Christians?

What did she think would happen? Did she honestly think that only Christian schools would benefit from this state funding windfall?

The answer is yes, she most certainly did. Her shock is genuine and before we get too upset with her, we need to remember that she is simply representing her constituents. Most of whom are probably as ignorant as her.

Self Righteous Pastor Leaves his Server a Bitchy note

After having worked to serve a party of 20, a server found the following note on customer’s check (because of the size of the party, an 18% gratuity was already added):

I give God 10%, Why do you get 18?

The customer then crossed off the 18% (which she had to pay anyway so she was just being a dick), wrote in a zero on the additional tip line and then made sure to indicate that she was a pastor. Then she left her wonderfully passive-aggressive self-righteous note for the server. Like a boss.

Well pastor, as Samuel L. Jackson said in Pulp Fiction, allow me to retort:

Why do I get 18% when god only gets 10%?

Because I’m real.

Because this check has fewer contradictions than the bible.

Because I use that tip to pay my rent, buy my food and put gas in my car. What does god do with the money you give him?

Because as a pastor, part of that 10% pays your salary. All of the 18% pays mine.

Because, unlike your church, I have to pay taxes.

Because you are giving away %10 of everything you earn and I just get 18% of $35 fucking dollars.

Maybe because god recognizes that I need money more than he does.

Update: The Pastor feels really bad about what she did and the server in question has, of course, lost her job. Which sucks extra double hard because she was not able to use any of my clever retorts.

U.S. Senator Lamar Alexander Says Video Games are a Bigger Problem than Guns

I’m not going to talk about whether or not gun control can have an effect on gun violence in our country. To do that, I’d want to cite studies and statistics and who gives a shit about all that, amirite?

Let’s just look at the facts:

There is no evidence video games are dangerous or directly lead to violent crime.

There is lots of evidence guns are dangerous. Please consider Every Fucking War fought in the last 250 years.

Not caused by video games.

Guns are dangerous. Even if you want to argue we still have a right to carry them around, they are dangerous.

And so yes, they are a problem. No matter what solution you suggest, the very fact that they pose a mortal threat to everyone around them is something that we all have the right to talk about. Hell, if I throw an unloaded gun at your face, it is going to do more damage than if I do the same thing with a video game cartridge.

Deflecting the conversation to video games when there is no evidence that they are responsible for anything is avoiding the debate. Which, I’m pretty sure, is the point.

Glee Fails a Saving Throw vs. Being Dicks

You’ve probably heard about this one. Johathan Coulton made a cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby got Back” and “Glee” covered Coulton’s cover. I mean, it is the same fucking arrangement.

Apparently they can do this because the arrangement isn’t covered by copywright law. OK. Fine.

I wasn’t really pissed about this at first because I honestly figured that the folks on “Glee” really didn’t realize what they’d done and when it was called to their attention, they would apologize for failing to do the polite thing and ask permission. I thought that was the decent thing to do. Just admit that what you did was legal but still kind of shitty and you are sorry.

What annoys me is that Fox has told Coulton that he will get no apology from them and he should be glad for the exposure. Exposure they weren’t going to give him. He’s getting exposure by pointing out they are assholes. Are they glad of the exposure?

What is it with people that they are incapable of swallowing the bullet and admitting they were wrong? Bill Clintin admits he cheated on his wife and he doesn’t get impeached. Richard Nixon admits the Watergate thing right away and he stays in office. Fox and “Glee” admit they made a jerk move and they don’t lose a bunch of fans.

But they don’t admit it. They stubbornly double down and end up looking like assholes. I was kind of bored with “Glee” anyway.

Idaho State Senator Compares Obamacare to the Holocaust

Holy hyperbole, Batman! Overreact much?

I’ve tried to avoid comparing anyone to nazis because at his worst, George W. Bush did not slaughter six milling Jews just because they were Jews. He did not have all of his political rivals put to death.

He did not try to take over Poland.

At some point, we have to stop comparing the other guy to nazis because unless they are wearing a swastika on their arm, they probably aren’t Nazis!

Here’s simple way to tell the difference: