Shit that Pissed Me off This Week – 5/24

Florida Teenager Faces Felony Charges for Being a Lesbian

Actually, she isn’t facing felony charges for being a lesbian.  She’s facing felony charges for statutory rape because she was having a consensual relationship with a girl who was 14.  When she was 17, that was (at least according to the articles I’ve read), legal.

But she turned 18.  And her girlfriends’ parents immediately had her arrested.

Update:  Apparently it wasn’t legal when she was 17 because if you are under 16, you can’t have consensual sex with anyone in the State of Florida. It would seem they waited until she was 18 so she could be charged as an adult.  Classy.

And the county prosecutor is going for it.  Because the law is all about protecting the innocent and that fourteen year old  was clearly being corrupted by her girlfriend the second she turned 18.  There is, apparently, no nuance in statutory rape laws that takes the age of the offender into account.  ‘Cuz an eighteen year old may be older than a fourteen year old but she is just as much of a child.

Oh sure, you can hold her hand now. But you’d better let it go before you turn eighteen!

If she had been a boy, I’ll bet this would not have happened.

Hey, you folks who are against same-sex marriage and who still think that you aren’t bigots – don’t you think getting an eighteen year old girl expelled from school and possibly putting her in prison because she’s a lesbian seems just a little bit bigoted?

Update:  There is a lot more nuance to this case. I checked my sources before I posted it but bias is always a risk. I’m still annoyed by any situation that could have a child (and yes – an eighteen year old is still a child) sent to jail for fifteen years because of sexual curiousity.  If there is one thing that scares the piss out of us in this country, it is human sexuality. 

Minnesota GOP torpedoes Anti-Bullying Bill and the Catholic Church Overreacts About it

This is a hot button issue for me because I have two children who are regularly bullied and they are (so far as I know) not gay.  Any bill that deals with that issue is bit deal to me.

Well the MN GOP decided that they were going to shut it down but not by voting against it, mind you, because they would have lost.

No.  They just threatened 10 hours of debate on an anti-bullying bill when the legislature has far more important things to discuss.  And they know that.  So they basically bullied the Democrats in control to table the bill by threatening to derail other, more important legislation.

Because they don’t like this bill.

I imagine they don’t like it for the same reason the Catholic diocese doesn’t like it.  They view it as providing special protection to gay students.  The diocese, fresh off a bunch of major losses in the gay marriage debate, is suggesting that things could get out of hand if bullies are forced to, you know, cut it the fuck out.

I’m sure that the diocese doesn’t mean to put my good straight boys in harms way.  But hey, collateral damage is unavoidable when the stakes are this high, right?

As long as we make sure there are no extra protections for gay kids, we can deal with a few straight kids who can’t get the help they need.

I just see nothing but red on this one.  Fuck everyone who had a hand in this debacle.  You are a bunch of insensitive assholes more concerned with your own faulty view of human sexuality than with the protection of children.

I realize this is a cheap shot but I’m going to say it anyway: I expect nothing less from the Catholic church.  I honestly expected more from the Republican party.  My bad.

Westboro Baptist Church Member says Oklahoma Tornadoes are Because Jason Collins Came out

What the fuck?

The state of Minnesota legalizes gay marriage just over a week ago and this crazy fuck blames the tornadoes on Jason Collins?

We are one state out of fifty.  Collins is one guy out of – what – a couple hundred?  And he came out a couple of weeks ago!

I have nothing but respect for Jason Collins but if god is going to go after Oklahoma with tornadoes (something he’s never done before), I would like to see my home state get some of the credit blame.  We have been fighting for this for a long time.

So hey, Westboro baptist church, this is the state of Minnesota:

We look like a cool ass science fiction phaser kind of thing. Really fucking Satanic.

We deserve at least as much press for the Oklahoma tornadoes as Jason Fucking Collins.  In the month of August, there will be so many rainbow decorated wedding cakes in Minnesota, we’ll be pooping in Technicolor.  How about just a little bit of hate love?

Blame a hurricane on us or something, would you?

Oklahoma Senator says it is “insensitive” to Discuss his Disaster Aid Policy Right Now

I love the way that it is never the “right time” to talk about something awkward.

Both Oklahoma senators voted against disaster relief after hurricane Sandy because of the high price tag.

They had no problem voting for disaster relief in Oklahoma, though.  I imagine because they are more concerned about votes in their home state than on the east coast.  That’s fair, I guess.

But they should expect people to ask them why they are fucking hypocrites.  And they shouldn’t dodge the question by saying “this isn’t the right time to ask me this question.”

Yes.  It really is.  Why were you such an insensitive prick when the east coast got slammed by a storm but you are filled with compassion for your fellow man right now?  It couldn’t be politics, could it?  It couldn’t be that you wanted to look like a fiscal conservative then but you can’t vote against money for your own constituents now, could it?

Let’s say this had happened in Kansas. Would they have voted for disaster aid then?

Either you think it is a bad idea for the government to be in the disaster aid business or you don’t.  Pick one.

The Pope says Atheists who do Good can go to Heaven

I really want to dislike the dude on principle but now he says that I can go to heaven if I’m a good person.  This is a far cry from the evangelical idea that I’m automatically a bad person and I’m screwed no matter what.

So while I’m sure that Pope Francis still has a problem with homosexuals and condoms, I’m pleased to learn that he believes in a god who isn’t a total prick.

Of course, a spokesperson for the Pope later clarified his remarks to say that yeah, atheists can be saved but not if they know about the church and reject it.

So if you manage to avoid coming in contact with the Catholic church and you don’t belive in god, you can still be saved.  So long as the Catholic church is right about god.  If anyone else is right about god, that whole bargain goes right out the window.

I think it’s a positive step, mind you.  The idea that being a good person is exclusive of god is a good idea and one I’d like to see more religious leaders espouse.  Too bad the church felt the need to back off of Francis’ remarks almost as quickly as he made them.

The Boy Scouts will Allow openly Gay Scouts and this dude is Pretty Fucking Upset About it

While I am pleased that the organization will allow openly gay scouts and annoyed that gay leaders will still be banned, I was certain there would be responses like this one.  Parents who honestly feel that homosexuality has no place in polite society will be withdrawing from the Scouts and predicting the demise of the organization.

He also has problems like this:

Any Scouting unit that refuses to accept or abide by the new policy will either have their charter revoked by national BSA leadership or become fully exposed to legal attacks for alleged violations of nondiscrimination ordinances.

Oh, so you mean just like the units that tried to allow gay scouts before the ban was lifted?  Several did have their charters revoked, pal.  That was OK, though, because they deserved it.  Right?

Also, “alleged” violations of nondiscrimination ordinances?  They would be actual violations, thankyouverymuch.

I also love this gem I’ve heard from anti-gay parents before:

Parents should have the exclusive right to raise issues about sex and sexuality with their children in their own time and in their own way, in the privacy of their homes, not brought up by other older boys around a campfire.

Well.  Yeah.  I guess.  Sort of.

Except most of them don’t.  Or they tell their kids stupid, twisted shit that scares the crap out of them and teaches them nothing.  Most parents are shitty at teaching their kids about sex.  Where is it written that you get exclusive rights to tell your kids about sex?  My parents did a pretty good job but most of the stuff I learned about sex was from work done in the field, if you know what I mean.

Also, how many scouts will be talking about their sexuality around the campfire?  They weren’t before.  Scouts who were booted for their sexuality were probably booted because they were open about it outside of scouts and some homophobic dick tattled.

This attitude is precisely the kind of attitude exuded by people who fear that open acceptance of homosexuals will have disastrous consequences.  And then they get pissed when their fear of acceptance gets them labeled as homophobes.

People at National Parks Piss me Off

The family and I have been vacationing in the Black Hills for the last week and we’ve been having a great time.  We’ve seen Devils Tower, Badlands National Park, Wind Cave and more.  And you know, I don’t understand why people seem incapable of appreciating what is around them or, conversely, giving a shit about the other people who are there.

A few examples:

1)  We hiked a trail called notch trail in Badlands National Park.  The trail is about 3/4 of a mile one way, it involves some moderately challenging climging and it takes you to a great view of the park.  We reached the end of the trail and our children immediately asked for permission to climb the rocks in the area.  We said yes because that way we could stand and enjoy where we were for a while.  Also, what kind of asshole parent would tell their kids they can’t climb on rocks?  Especially if they fully intend to do it themselves?

As we were getting ready to leave, another group of three walked up to the end of the trail.  They left before we did.

I don’t get it.  Why hike that whole way if you aren’t going to spend any time enjoying it?

2)  In Wind Cave NP, we were stopping at the visitors’ center to use the restrooms before we went on a short hike.  While we were there, a couple of guys walked in and wanted to know what they could do at the park.  The ranger pointed out that there was a cave tour starting in about 30 minutes.  It was the last tour of the day and there was still room.  They decided to skip it because it didn’t sound all that interesting.

Holy shit!  You guys are at Wind Cave National Park and you don’t want to see the cave?  What is your fucking problem?

“Seriously, sir, the canyon is just up the road.” “No, that’s OK. We’re Close Enough.”

3)  On the tour of Jewel Cave, I volunteered to be the back of the line.  My reasons were selfish – if I volunteered to be the back of the line, I would have more time to look at stuff.  However, just in front of me were three ladies who couldn’t have taken any time to enjoy the cave because they were too busy taking pictures of each other climbing or descending stairs.  Every two minutes one of them would say “hey, Dianne! Turn around!”

I know her name was Dianne because her friend said it a lot.

I guarantee not a single one of those pictures will be all that great but I suppose given they took about fifty of them, one or two is bound to turn out.

That would have been annoying enough but these ladies also didn’t really understand the idea that since you paid for a cave tour, it is generally considered polite to shut up when the tour guide is talking.  Even if you don’t give a fuck about being impolite to the tour guide because seriously, she just spent a whole lot of time studying the geology and history of Jewel Cave so she could tell it to you – that doesn’t mean you have to listen, how about giving a fuck that everyone else there actually does want to hear what she has to say?

And if you haven’t noticed, you are in a fucking cave.  Do you know what happens to voices inside a cave?  They bounce off the walls and get amplified, that’s what.

There were lots of people at these parks who really appreciated the place they were.  There were others who seemed to be checking them off some sort of life list.  As long as you walk into the visitors’ center at Devils Tower, you can check it off the list, right?  Never mind that you could spend an hour to walk around it.

If you had the ability, why wouldn’t you do that?  It isn’t anywhere near anything else.  Why would you go an hour out of your way to take a picture, buy a postcard and leave?

I found this picture on the internet and I didn’t even have to get into my car!

Seriously, if you don’t give enough of a fuck to check the place out, don’t go.  You are just getting in the way of those of us who actually appreciate it.