Shit that Pissed Me Off – 1/17

Colorado Politician Creates a Bill Based on a Satirical Article

I’m going to briefly address the absurdity of a politician freaking out over a bullshit article suggesting that people are using food stamps to buy pot in Colorado.  So convinced was she that this was actually happening that she wrote a law designed to ensure that it wouldn’t happen.

That’s idiotic.

But what the hell is with Fox News and other conservatives falling all over each other to freak out about legalized pot?  Does this actually spell the decline and death of Western Civilization?  I ask this as someone who has never smoked pot, doesn’t expect he ever will and doesn’t give a crap if someone else wants to.

Legalized pot? How can we make it so easy for young people to get mind altering substances????

I thought Republicans are supposed to be the party of small government and yet they are the ones completely horrified at the idea of saving money in the war on drugs by cutting back on the number of fronts where we are fighting.

I’d think their problem would be more focused on the regulation of the pot industry.  Maybe the pot dealers don’t have enough freedom and the assumption is they’d be more free with a deregulated but illegal industry?  Or legalized pot is good as long as pot growers can do whatever the fuck they want?

It’s like they are smoking conservativism but they aren’t inhaling.

They are Making a film Version of “Magic: The Gathering”

I’m the first to acknowledge that Clue ended up being a good movie.  Given that, I should, perhaps, not immediately dismiss this idea as completely moronic.

That is, however, what I’m going to do.  The game of Clue has, at least, a bit of a narrative.  Someone is dead.  The players must uncover evidence to figure out who did the killing.

Magic has no narrative whatsoever.  You play cards until one of the competitors loses.  Have you ever listened to someone describe a game of Magic?  I’ve had more interesting conversations with people who play Bridge.

I can’t deny that I’m intrigued to learn how they will come up with a dramatic way to show characters in the film tapping their abilities but now the whole thing is starting to sound like a porn film.

I think they should start simpler.  How about a film called Uno?

It could last ten minutes or five hours.  There’s no way to be sure.

The Best Hardware Store in the Twin Cities is Closing

Nothing against Home Depot or Menards but neither of them are Seven Corners hardware.

Having been in technical theatre, you learn which hardware stores are the best in town and you could walk into that store and be assured that they would have exactly what you were looking for.  Every time.

If you asked them where you could find a Hammer, they would ask for a sample of the nail you were going to be using. They are that fucking competent!

Not only that, but you could tell anyone in that store what you were looking for and they would find it.  Every time.

It looks to me that they are closing because the owner’s heart is no longer in the business.  I just wish he could have found someone who wanted to buy that place.

I have no idea what will be taking the place of Seven Corners Hardware but I can virtually guarantee that it won’t last 80 years and almost nobody will be sorry when it closes.

Book with Bad Conclusions about Atheism is Enjoying Increased Popularity

The book in question is entitled “Faith of the Fatherless: The Psychology of Atheism.”  I’m not going to include a link because fuck that book.

The central ridiculous assertion that someone who didn’t have a good relationship with their physical father is unable to have a good relationship with their heavenly father.  So right away the book is telling us that when it comes to religion, mothers are not important.  At least not to men.

And this book is all about atheist guys.  I don’t know what bad parenting techniques produce atheist women but I don’t think this book cares.

I wonder – I had a really good relationship with my dad until he died when I was 19.  So since he died when I was pretty young and I ended up an atheist, is that his fault?  Even if for a time after his death, I became a stronger believer in some sort of afterlife simply because I wanted to believe that I’d see him again?

I don’t know what the answers to those questions might be but I can tell you one thing for certain – I won’t find them in that book.

Guy Shoots Another guy for Texting in a Movie Theater

Let’s be clear – assholes text in movie theaters.  I can totally understand why the shooter was upset.

I can even understand why he went to complain to the manager.

When he shot the guy, however, my understanding wanes.  What’s more, it sounds like he’s going to use Florida’s “stand your ground” law to argue that he felt threatened by his unarmed victim.  Even though he had to fire through the hand of the dead man’s wife.  Which seems really threatening.

A guy doing this clearly represents an immediate threat that must be neutralized. If he’s behind the wheel of a car.

Why doesn’t anyone come away from this and say “holy fuck did I lose control – I deserve what I get?”

I guess when you shoot an unarmed person for no good reason, the logical next step is to invent a reason.

As we Learn that Things Aren’t so Awesome in Iraq, Republicans Look for Someone to Blame *cough* OBAMA *cough*

Steven Colbert skewered this point of view with remarkable precision on Monday (see the link) but here’s the question that plagues me:

Did anyone actually think that things in Iraq were going to be great as soon as the US troops left?  I mean really?  Were we all too stupid to see that we had completely failed to stabilize the country in a way that would last?

So the alternative was to stay there for how long?  Another ten years?  Twenty?  Fifty?

Haven’t we spent enough time trying to fix the problems in that part of the world to figure out that we can’t fix the problems in that part of the world?

By and large, US interference in that part of the world have almost continually served to make things worse.

And let’s be clear – if Bush was still in office right now, it’d be the Democrats criticizing him for pulling out too soon.

He’d also be violating the constitution but it’s not an amendment anybody cares about.

Fox News Commentator Advocates Shooting Satanists Who are Putting a Monument in the OklahomaState Capitol

I don’t really think he was advocating for anyone to be shot.  I think he was trying to make a lame ass joke.  And he succeeded.

You know what really offends me in this video?  The way one of the panelists pronounces “Satanists.”

She pronounces is Say-TAN-ists.  She makes it sound like they are some sort of anti-christian cult that is obsessed with achieving the proper bronzed skin tone.

I’ll bet that dog is a Say-TAN-ist!

This is odd since I would guess she’s a Christian and most Christians know how to pronounce the word “Satan.”  Her righteous indignation is just a bit tempered by the fact that she can’t pronounce the name of the people who are pissing her off.

Even though the host of the show and every other panelist have pronounced it correctly before she even opened her mouth.

People watch Fox News for the comedy, right? Right???????

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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