Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/28

Alabama House Committee Approves Prayer in Schools Bill Even Though They Lost the Vote

The bill looks to improve Alabama schools by allowing up to fifteen minutes of organized prayer per day. The believe, apparently, that this will improve children’s test scores more than any other more proven technique.  Kids who aren’t Christians are welcome to opt out and deal with ridicule from their peers and teachers.  So that’s fair.

In order for this bill to go before the Alabama house, it needed to be approved by committee.  It wasn’t.

By voice vote, it was two votes for the bill and three against (with three abstentions).  The committee chair claimed that she “heard more yays than nays” and forwarded the bill to the entire House.

Might I suggest she get one of these before the next session?

You would think that her devout Christianity that was on display when she supported a bill to improve schools through prayer would have been on display when she was called on to honestly count the votes.

I guess, though, that she would rather spend state money on defending the inevitable lawsuit coming their way if this bill becomes law.

How, exactly, are Christian values winning out here?

Arizona Tries to Legislate the Gay Away

In sweeping legislation designed to “protect” business owners from violating their “deeply held religious beliefs,” the Arizona house and senate has passed a law allowing business owners to discriminate against gays and lesbians just because they want to.  Fortunately, Governor Jan Brewer vetoed the bill.

What bugs me about this is Arizona already has (unconstitutional) laws allowing discrimination against homosexuals. For some reason, they wanted to make sure that bigoted business owners are double plus extra sure that they could tell homosexuals to fuck off.

I’ve got a few friends who complain that this is the liberal media making a huge issue out of something that is already illegal but the fact it is already illegal is what makes this entire situation an issue worth discussing.  It is another example of Christians freaking out because their religious liberties are being “threatened” when they clearly don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s.

Austin Police Arrest a Woman for Jaywalking, Police Chief Says She is Lucky She Wasn’t Raped

Well technically I guess that’s true.  She was definitely lucky she wasn’t raped.

If he’d been thinking about it, he could have just said she was lucky she didn’t get hit by a car.

There’s nothing more helpful than saying “chill out lady, I know what we did was messed up but it could have been so much worse!”

Mormons Create Insane Anti-Masturbation PSA

God does not want you to masturbate.  We all know this because god doesn’t want you to do anything you enjoy.  And once you get to heaven, you will be so busy admiring god that you won’t have time to masturbate.

Even though you could probably do it in heaven.

Unless you are an angel and your genitals are missing like they were in Dogma.

This PDA wants you to know how serious masturbating is and how much of an asshole you are if you don’t approach a friend who is masturbating to get him to stop.  It’s like leaving a wounded comrade on the battlefield to die!

With his dick in his hand!

Apparently, by the way, girls don’t masturbate.

Anyway, I think what the Mormon church needs is a good dose of perspective.

Lobbyist is Hawking a No Gays in the NFL Bill and He’s Got a Gay Brother

The fact he has an openly gay brother just makes him a grade A asshole.

Do I think this bill is going to go anywhere?  No way.  You can’t tell the NFL (or anyone) who they are permitted to employ.

I’m puzzled at times why this kind of jackass even bothers to call themselves a Republican.  What part of small government is the part that tells an entire industry what kind of person they can hire?  That isn’t free market anything.  If the NFL is going to be able to keep making gigantic truckloads of money with openly gay players then that’s what the market wants!

The market wants gay and straight men to shower together.  Heck, the market wants video of them showering together.  Slow motion video.  With lots of steam.

Awwwww yeaaaaaaah!

In another fine example of the free market in action, our homophobic lobbyist has already lost a client.

I’m sure there are plenty of homophobic businesses to take up the slack.  I don’t think he’s going to be able to count on getting any business from the NFL, though.

Stupid Fucking Meme that Misses the Point of What Makes Music Good

Most memes like this take extremely complicated concepts and boil them down to until they are simplistically pointless.  Check this one out:

Holy Shit!  Freddie Mercury was some kind of god!  Has there not been a single song written by only one person since “Bohemian Rhapsody?”

I mean besides a whole ton of songs?

Also, most of the music by U2 is written by four guys.  Does that mean that they suck because their music writing is a collaborative effort?  How about The Beatles?

The only thing this meme is saying is “I fucking LOVE ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ and I HATE all these other songs.

Well why not say that instead of imply that if you can’t write a song all on your own, you are a complete loser.

By the way – Freddie Mercury was some kind of god.  Who needs a bullshit meme to understand that?

Student Decides to Back Away From Forming an Atheist Organization at Her School After Threats From “Christians” Make Her Family Fear For Her Safety

Originally, her school had rejected the secular club because atheists are scary.  A few letters from groups like the Secular Student Alliance later and the school was willing to allow her to form her group.

She had a lot of support around her but she also had people who believe it is only OK to organize a group at school if it is one they themselves would join.  Some of those people, in the interest of being good Christians, decided to taunt and threaten her to the point she no longer felt she could form the club.

I’m going to try to make sure my response is crystal clear.

Whoever you are – fuck you.  You are intolerant fucks who intimidated a 15-year-old kid and are probably celebrating the fact that you “won” when your only victory is teaching your kids that sometimes bullies win.  You have made a mockery of your religion and of yourselves and you are the worst kind of people.

Do you honestly believe that Jesus got crucified so you could act like a complete fuckwit?  Do you think he was getting nailed to the cross thinking “boy is this going to be worth it when people harass a 15-year-old atheist two thousand years from now?”

Is that in one of the letters of Paul? I never had the patience to read those…

Maybe I shouldn’t be saying all of this because I’m not a Christian so I guess I don’t have a right to tell Christians when they are doing it wrong.

So fine.  Instead of telling these assholes they are doing Christianity wrong, how about I just tell them that they are doing humanity wrong?

Ken Ham Gets To Build His Ark

Turns out the high profile debate between Ken Ham and Bill Nye did exactly what Ham hoped (and I feared) it would.  It raised the profile of his Noah’s Ark theme park project to the point he was able to get it funded.

No doubt one of the reasons Ham pushed for the debate in the first place was because he knew that his Ark needed a boost and what better way to reach the crazies with money than to have a debate on CNN?

Ham is a nut but he is not stupid.  He knew what he needed to do to get his money.

Nye, for his part, was probably aware that he was boosting Ham’s signal but viewed it as a risk worth taking.

Believing in the ark fable requires one to ignore very basic concepts.  Like math.  I can’t say I’m thrilled that there will be an entire park devoted to teaching people bad science in order to ensure they believe in the reality of an allegory.

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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