Shit that Pissed Me Off – 3/28

Mitt Romney Could Have Prevented Russia’s Annexation of Crimea

Turns out Mitt can see the future!  He can see it so well, he could have stopped Putin if he’d only been elected President.

I’m sure he was on the phone to Obama several times a week because fixing the problem would have been a lot more important that scoring political points, right?

Look, I know that the Republicans are contractually obligated to say that Obama does a bad job at everything.  However, are they so stupid as to think they could have fixed the Ukraine situation?

Wow! The US is, like, right next to the Ukraine! Obviously we could fix this if there was a Republican in the white house!

No, of course they aren’t.  They know full well that in the same circumstances, they couldn’t have done anything either.  Thing is, they are assuming all the people listening to them are too stupid to figure that out.

And what really pisses me off is they are probably right.

Lawmaker Says Women Who are Binge Drinkers Shouldn’t Use Birth Control

These people actually know the microphone is turned on before they start talking, right?  They say this stuff fully aware that someone is going to hold them accountable for saying it and they are OK with that?

First he says women should be required to take pregnancy tests before they start drinking.  Man, that seems like really huge government intrusion so he must be a Demo….Republican? What????

He’s super concerned about fetal alcohol syndrome.  That would be admirable if he wasn’t so convinced that the best way to prevent it is to have women who are heavy drinkers stop using birth control.

Actually, since he implies that pretty much all women are drunken harlots, I don’t think any part of his position is admirable.

Remember ladies, if you are over 21 and you may get pregnant at any time in the future, don’t drink!  If you do, though, this dude will be there to protect your baby!

Well Shit, Now I Probably DO Need To See Noah

Turns out Darren Aronofsky is an atheist and he calls his film “The least Biblical film ever made.”

I mean sure, that statement is meant to sell the film to people like me.  People who have no interest in a preachy movie that pretends the story of Noah is anything but an interesting fairy tale.

If you can draw a picture, you know it’s real!

Knowing that fundamentalists are up in arms because the movie isn’t true to the original story just drives me nuts because they have a problem with artistic license being used to tell a story that already wasn’t true.

Yes, I know they believe it to be true.  I know that.

But it isn’t.  The evidence doesn’t support a global flood.  The evidence doesn’t support the idea that all species on Earth could have evolved from the animals on the ark.  There is, literally, zero evidence for the existence of Noah.

Unless you count the bible as evidence.

And if you do that, you are a crazy person.

This Week’s Meme That Pissed Me Off

Michele Bachman has been regularly featured in this blog because she says a lot of really horrible things.  So imagine how crazy it makes me when I find myself defending her.  That is what this week’s meme that pissed me off is making me do.

I saw this meme and thought it was a pretty horrible thing to say.  Even for Bachman.

The problem was, it was the first I’d heard of her saying anything after Phelps died.  I don’t think that Bachmann would try to endear herself to the small contingent of Westboro Baptist church supporters and it puzzled me that something this alarming didn’t show up on the usual liberal sites like Right Wing Watch.

Usually, they are all over Bachmann.  Why nothing in this case?

Because she didn’t actually say this.  I can’t find one piece of evidence proving it.  I can’t find any evidence proving she was on Fox News on the 20th of March.

Here’s the problem:  Bachmann lies and obfuscates all the time.  We don’t need to be making up stuff for her to say.  She generates more than enough on her own.

And Bachmann looks better when she can complain about the left misquoting her all the time.  She has claimed that some of her crazier statements are “urban myths” when, in fact, she actually said them.  Why give her ammunition by creating quotes that are wrong?

Note: Christians for Michele Bachmann is apparently satirical and this isn’t supposed to be a real quote.  Problem is, people are sharing it as if it is a real quote.  Knowing it is satire does not make it particularly funny.

Women Who Want To Testify In Jordan Better Cover Up!

The high court in that country recently ruled that women who do not wear a hijab to testify in court should be considered “sluts” and their fairness and honesty is compromised.  Hence they will not be allowed to testify unless they cover up.

We all know that the best way to handle important matter of law is to determine that what the witness is wearing is more important than what the witness is saying.  We further know that the best way to make women feel good about themselves is to declare them “sluts” based on little more than how much of their skin is exposed.

Lawyers can’t lawyer!  Judges can’t judge!  Bailiffs can’t bailiff! They will all be staring a that slutty woman’s forehead!  Or possibly even her forearm!

I know that I find it impossible to function when my wife shows me her forearm.  I imagine it would be even worse if it was a complete stranger’s forearm.

Or maybe that’s all complete bullshit.

Speaking of Shaming Women, Let’s Make Sure We Start ’em Young!

Sunnie Kahle is eight and she doesn’t really dress like a girl.  By that I mean she doesn’t dress like a girl based on the very narrow definition of the school she used to attend.

Because you know, if you are a girl and you are wearing clothes, you are dressed like a girl.  Women have been wearing pants and sneakers long enough for them to be acceptable clothing for either gender, right?

Well sure.  Unless you are going to a school where girls should be wearing dresses or they are a “distraction.”

This dress, for instance, is totally not a distraction

Brief aside: what is this power women hold over all men?  Why are we incapable of managing our own affairs whenever a women is dressed inappropriately? And by “inappropriately” I mean “dressed in a way that deviates a fraction from societal norms.”  How much to men disrespect themselves when they need to spend so much time telling women how to dress to avoid the wrong kind of male attention?

So just for the record: eight year old girl is getting pressure to conform to someone else’s ideals.  Because eight year old girls need to understand very early that they are super different from boys and they should be ashamed of that fact.

When someone sits down to write a letter telling an eight year old girl she isn’t girlie enough, is there a moment where they realize what they are doing is wrong?  And if so, how do they manage to power past that awkward moment so they can do it anyway?