Shit that Pissed me off – 9/26

Emma Watson Gives a Speech About Feminism so 4Chan Threatens to Release Nude Photos of Her A Marketing Company Tries to Shut Down 4Chan By Threatening to Release Nude Pictures

Worst marketing campaign ever.

Does anyone get the idea that pretending you are going to release nude pictures of someone is only slightly better than saying you are going to do it for real?  Even If you follow your threat up with “ha-ha, we were just kidding!  Those 4chan people are pretty awful, aren’t they?”

Well yeah.  Some of them are.

You just defined yourself as more awful because you are pretending to be awful to show how awful you believe others to be.  Which is just dumb.

Maybe not this dumb.  But still pretty damned dumb.

Maybe not this dumb. But still pretty damned dumb.

In the meantime, you make Emma Watson, who had some really important things to say, feel vulnerable.  Maybe you contacted her publicist to tell her that she shouldn’t worry and you didn’t really have nude pictures of Emma and even if you did, you weren’t going to post them because you were just sticking it to 4chan ha ha!

What did Rantic Marketing manage to do?  They managed to make 4chan look really good.  Talk about a complete failure.

PS:  Do you really think that shutting down one bunch of assholes on the internet will get rid of assholes on the internet?  How long have you been here????

Ravens Thought Ray Rice Video Would Show He Was Defending Himself

All they saw was him dragging his unconscious fiancée from an elevator in a way that showed what would appear to be absolutely no concern for her well-being and they thought “well, he was probably just defending himself.”

What kind of people would do that?

Oh! I know!  People who have millions of dollars riding on Rice’s name.

Don’t kid yourself, ladies and gentlemen.  They didn’t convince themselves that Rice was acting in self-defense because of a missing video.  They did it because they want to win football games and sell jerseys.

Oh sure, they might have convinced themselves it was for some other reason.  It wasn’t.

Nobody with eyes, a brain, and zero financial stake in the decision needed to see Rice punch out his fiancée.  The video showed exactly what any impartial reasoning person would have assumed was on the video.

Climate Change Activists Too Concerned About The Climate To Clean Up Their Trash

Sure, fighting climate change is about more than a bunch of Starbucks Coffee cups but wow did the folks participating in this march provide us all with a nice definition of irony.

Whatever happened to reduce, reuse, recycle?  None of us are perfect and worrying about the human effect on our climate doesn’t mean you can’t produce an ounce of trash without being a hypocrite but in a world where far too many people are questioning the overwhelming scientific consensus, you could at least try to cut down your carbon footprint at a protest march.

Hey guys, does anyone know what we're protesting today?  Climate Change? Fuck. I drove my SUV here today...

Hey guys, does anyone know what we’re protesting today? Climate Change? Fuck. I drove my SUV here today…

I mean, I assume most of the marchers have reusable coffee cups.  Right?  Right?????

I mean I have one and I don’t drink coffee.

School District Eliminates Seven Books From Reading List After Parents Fail to Parent

Parents were concerned there were passages in the books that dealt with “hardships and controversies of adulthood.”  Because apparently high school is too early to get kids used to the fact they are going to be adults.

Even better, is this quote by an education professor:

You have the parents who don’t want their child reading X-Y-Z and you have the parents saying ‘That’s wonderful. I didn’t want to have that hard conversation.’

So basically, we have parents that don’t want their kids to know sex exists and a bunch of other parents who are thankful they don’t have to tell their kids about sex.  Apparently we have a bunch of parents who don’t want to talk about sex with their kids because cooties, I guess.

Parents of the world – your kids will learn about sex!  It pretty much has to happen!  So do you want them to think sex is a horrible, dirty thing that nobody ever talks about or do you want them to know that it is a natural part of the human experience?

For those that want the former, I have a pile of books out back, some kerosene and a book of matches.  All of the books are Bibles.

Because there is some messed up sexual shit in the Bible.  You don’t want your kids reading that stuff.

Archbishop Forces Organist Out of his Job Because Homophobia

Here in Minnesota, Archbishop John Neinstadt has been a crusader against same-sex marriage.

Reading his statement about this, he talks over and over about what is taught in the Gospels.  Yet the Gospels say absolutely nothing about same-sex marriage or, for that matter, homosexuality.  So what the fuck, pal?  Can you at least admit that you don’t give a crap about what Jesus said and are, instead, focused on the words of Paul?

A different Paul.

A different Paul.

I’m tired of the Catholic Church, which claims to be all about using the teaching of Jesus, using the teachings of some other dude to justify homophobia.  They will protect sexual predators because they are priests but they will fire an organist because they think Jesus might not have liked homosexual behavior since Paul (who never actually met Jesus) says so.

Now to be fair, Neinstadt says he just advised the church on what to do but the decision to fire their openly gay organist was not his.

Because in a hierarchy like the Catholic church, a bishop’s advice is always just a suggestion and not an order.

Conservatives Lose Their Shit Over Obama’s Shitty Salute

Oh my god.  Are you fucking kidding me?

All the other shit going down in the world right now and you are pissed off because Obama couldn’t figure out what to do with his coffee?  What he did wasn’t disrespectful because he doesn’t have to salute at all.  He outranks the Marines.  He’s the commander-in-chief.

Also, the dude has been President for almost six years now.  Has he been giving shitty salutes for six years and you just decided to care now or, more likely, has he been doing just fine and you are pissed because you just hate him and will find any excuse to talk about what an awful human being he is in spite of the fact that you, angry internet conservative, would suck as President.

To be clear, I would also suck at being President.  Most of us would.  Yet we still backseat drive the dude with the job.

If you haven’t missed it, we are involved in a war in the Middle East again.  While you wail and moan over a fucking salute, we have bigger issues to consider.

And ask yourself, if Obama was a Republican, would you give a fuck about that salute?  If your answer is “yes,” you are lying to yourself.  And to me.

Why do I say that?  Because of this:


At least the dog isn't in the same arm, right?

At least the dog isn’t in the same arm, right?


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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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