Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/15

South Dakota Lawmaker Wants Children to Submit to Genital Inspection Because Transphobia

File this under “laws that will never pass but what absolute insensitive fuckwit would even propose such a thing?”

South Dakota representative Roger Hunt is really concerned about transgender children being allowed to participate in sports based on their gender identity and he wants to make sure that kids are carefully forced into his personal definition of their gender.

Roger Hunt won’t have to show his genitals because he’s already shown that he’s a dick.

The only way to do this, he reasons through legislation, is to force kids to produce a birth certificate and also to submit to a genital inspection.  Score one for trans shaming but also score one for embarrassing every child who wants to participate in sports!

What’s that Billy?  You want to play Football?  Not until we make sure you have a penis!

Don’t worry, Billy!  It’s not discrimination.  Your sister Sally wants to play volleyball but she can’t do that until we see her vagina!

See?  Fair!

BTW – Hunt isn’t alone.  There’s also this fuckwit in Virginia.

All Those People Who are Saying Those Assholes Occupying Federal Land Aren’t Damaging Anything?  Turns out they are Damaging Things

Moving into their second inconsequential week, the men occupying Federal land because they can’t graze their cattle anywhere they want like they could in the 1800’s when they weren’t alive are facing real hardship.  Sure, they can go into town to get snacks.  But the snacks aren’t right there.

Some people have said they aren’t terrorists because they haven’t damaged anything.  Except they totally have.  They have removed 80 feet of fencing so ranchers can use the land as they see fit.

Now 80 feet of fencing may not seem like an awful lot.  But let’s remember that this fencing wasn’t theirs to remove. They don’t get to claim they are doing no harm.  Because the taxpayers will eventually have to pay to fix those fences.

They are also using government vehicles to remove fence posts.  If they gas the vehicles up when they are done, I guess we can give them a pass on that one.

Oregon Rancher Writes an Editorial that Makes Me Unsympathetic to his Cause

So in my continuing goal to understand the other side of a story, I read this editorial by a rancher who talks about how hard it is to follow all the rules the federal government imposes on his use of their land.

He complains that the people making the rules aren’t ranchers and so they don’t understand his needs.

Ummm…..good!  Their job is to protect the plants and animals in the reserve, not figure out how to make it easier for cattle ranchers.  I realize that’s a pain in the ass but ranching on federal land is cheaper than using private land in part because of all the restrictions.

Rules are HARD!

Complain all you want that there is a ton of federal land in Oregon but if there wasn’t, it would be private land that would cost a lot more to use.

I get that being a rancher is hard.  I get that following rules is a pain.

I also get that the rules are there for a reason.  Sure, that can be a pain in the ass.  But the alternative is that land gets used by a bunch of people who don’t give a shit about what happens to it once their cattle are done.

Roy Moore Thinks That Alabama Doesn’t Have to Listen to the Supreme Court

Roy Moore is the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court and he doesn’t like that same-sex marriage is legal.  Not at all.

He hates it so much, he’s gone ahead and used his position on the court to decree that the US Supreme Court is wrong and has banned same-sex marriage in his state.  Now I know that sounds illegal since last year’s Supreme court ruling pretty much explicitly stated that it is illegal.

But Moore isn’t one to let the Supreme Court stand in the way of what he thinks is right.  Several years ago, he was tossed off the bench for refusing to remove a monument to the ten commandments from the courthouse after he was ordered to do so by the Supreme Court.

The good people of Alabama just voted him back into office, though.  So here we are.

Moore believes himself to be a crusader for the oppressed religious majority in his state.  Right wing conservative Christians think he’s a hero. To everyone else, he is the best example of what happens when you give a bigot too much power.

This Week’s Meme that Pissed me Off

You know that Planned Parenthood is evil because in addition to providing affordable health services for women, it also occasionally provides abortions and appears in heavily edited propaganda videos.  They also work with the Girl Scouts to help girls understand their bodies.  Which brings me to this:

That’s right, folks!  Tell those little girls in your neighborhood that you aren’t going to buy any Samoas this year because the Girl Scouts want to partner with an organization that will help them become healthy adults!  Because that organization might also be able to provide them with an abortion!

Planned Parenthood is a target because they have become the public face of abortion.  Their unapologetic support for a woman’s right to choose has made them the ultimate enemy in the war on abortion.  To the point that a bunch of people want to target the girl scouts for failing to utterly condemn them.

Lost in this conversation is the completely fair question: who will provide all the other services Planned Parenthood provides if you shut them down?

The answer, if they are honest, is that they don’t care.

It Really Doesn’t Come in Threes

Superstition is a fascinating lesson in confirmation bias.  This week, we lost David Bowie and Alan Rickman.  Both were fantastic entertainers who left a tremendous body of work we’ll be appreciating for years to come.

And yet the prevailing concern seems to be which beloved celebrity will die next because the trifecta much be completed!  Others have pointed out that Natalie Cole died last week so Alan Rickman is already the third and we can all breathe easy until the next trio dies.  Whomever that trio may be.

The truth about the rule of three is it is all in the counting.  If you count celebrity deaths in groups of three, you will be surprised to discover that it always happens in threes! 

If you choose to count them in groups of five, they will always happen in groups of five!

I just blew your mind, didn’t I?

Now, you could consider this some sort of cosmic pattern or you could realize the rule is entirely arbitrary and you could have used any number.

You can totally mourn the loss of someone who had a big impact on your life without being concerned that another famous person will be dying soon.

Because there are a lot of famous people.  And one of them is going to die soon.

PS: the third celebrity to die this week (of cancer even) is Grizzly Adams star Dan Haggerty.  So there you go.  We can start counting at one again next week.

Another Republican Debate

Nope.  I didn’t watch it.  I haven’t even brought myself to read a recap of it yet.

Because this kind of politics is a sham.  Debates exist so candidates can beat up on each other and beat up on members of the opposing party.  Facts are completely irrelevant and the viewers, by and large, don’t care.

If you are a Republican, you are going to accept the fabrications of your party because you are biased. If you are a Democrat, you will do the same thing.

I don’t want to sound like I’m not partisan because I am.  I firmly believe that the most important power a President will ever possess is the appointment of Supreme Court Justices.  I also believe that conservative presidents appoint the worst Supreme Court Justices.  So as long as Republican presidents keep nominating judges like Scalia and Thomas, I’m going to vote for a Democrat.

There’s my bias.  These debates don’t change my mind.  I know full well that Donald Trump will appoint Justices that will seek to expand the definition of “religious freedom” in potentially catastrophic ways.  He will appoint Justices who will help systematically strip away a woman’s right to choose.  He will appoint Justices who think the Citizens United ruling was a good one.

And so will Ted Cruz.  And so will Carly Fiorina.

But the circus goes on.  And on.  I already wish it was November 9th.

Unless Trump somehow gets elected. Then I wish we could have a few more Republican debates.