Shit that Pissed me Off – 3/25

Microsoft Hired a Bunch of Models in Skimpy Schoolgirl Outfits for an Industry Party

Before I go on my traditional mini rant, let me begin by saying the head of Xbox games, who sponsored the party, and the head of Microsoft both came out saying, in effect, “holy shit was that a horrible decision and we feel like complete assholes and while we can’t actually say we are going to fire whoever put this party together, we are totally going to fire whoever put this party together.”

So I don’t want to pile too much abuse on a company that seems to recognize how stupid it was to host a women in gaming panel on the same day they hired some sexy Catholic schoolgirls to encourage gamer nerds to dance.

I will, however, heap abuse on whoever actually decided to hire the sexy Catholic schoolgirls.

Because what in the hell were they thinking?  In a time when their industry is under heavy fire for not really giving a shit about women gamers, they decided it’d be a good time to blatantly not give a shit about women gamers.

I did a Google search for "woman gamer" and found this image. The internet is a strange and wonderful place.

I did a Google search for “woman gamer” and found this image. The internet is a strange and wonderful place.

They could have hired ripped dudes to dress up as Italian plumbers for a little gender balance and it still would have been a dumb PR move but probably wouldn’t have resulted in quite the uproar they are currently experiencing.

I realize the return on investment may have seemed lower given gaming is still very much a male dominated industry but when you are throwing thousands of dollars at a dance party for gamers, you may have already been making poor investment choices.

Maybe if it had been a Dance Dance Revolution party for gamers…

PS: After reading this article, I do think it’s important to address the dancers.  They were doing a job for which they were hired.  There is nothing wrong with that.

Tennis Tournament Director Says Women Should “Get on Their Knees” and thank Male Tennis Players

As if Women tennis players didn’t have it bad enough trying to beat Serena Williams, now they have tournament directors telling them that, basically, nobody gives a fuck about women’s tennis anyway.  They just watch the chicks when there aren’t any dudes playing, I guess.

Serena Williams called him out and then she probably challenged him to a tennis match with one of her biceps.

He later apologized for his insensitive remarks but I’m sure that was after some sponsors called him and said “what the fuck is your problem?”

Which probably didn’t change his opinion any.  It just convinced him that he needed to keep his opinion to himself.

Apparently, Obama Would Have Handled the Brussels Attacks Better if He’d Been in Washington

Obama made the first Presidential visit to Cuba in a lot of years (I could look it up but I’ve used up my allotted research time for this blog).

While he was in Cuba, some terrorists blew up an airport and a subway station in Brussels.  Which is terrible.

But let’s be really clear about one important point.  The attacks happened in Brussels.

The right was calling Obama a “pathetic idiot” because he was at a baseball game when news of the attacks came in trying to normalize relations with a country we’ve been on pretty bad terms with for…however long it’s been since we stopped talking to each other…

Probably because Fidel Castro hasn't changed his clothes in 50 years.

Probably because Fidel Castro hasn’t changed his clothes in 50 years.

What, exactly, was he supposed to do right then?  It wasn’t an attack on American soil.

Was he supposed to show solidarity with the people of Brussels?  Because he did that in a speech a short time later.  One, I expect, someone needed a little bit of time to write.

Was he supposed to go back to Washington which, I will point out, was just as much not in Brussels as Cuba?

Seriously, if Obama was photographed eating a pork chop, people would claim he was insulting the American beef industry.

Dude who Ran Pay for Prayer Web Site Will Have to Pay 7.8 Million in Restitution

Dear believers out there: Anyone who asks for money in exchange for prayer is a fucking con artist.

I’m serious about this.  Every fucking one of them.

Televangelists who ask for money in exchange for prayer are just as slimy as this dude who did it on the internet.  The god you profess to worship is all knowing and all powerful.  That means some asshole with a TV show doesn’t have a direct line that you lack.

And God isn’t sitting up in heaven saying “I’d cure that dude’s cancer but he just hasn’t paid enough people to pray on his behalf.”

If you genuinely believe that, you are also probably voting for Donald Trump.  Which means you aren’t reading this column.  Which means I’m just a little bit more depressed than I was when I started.

In Local Politics, A Right To Die Bill is Tabled Because Religion Trumps Compassion

The Minnesota Catholic Conference, which doesn’t represent all Catholics, showed up to oppose a right to die bill being considered in the State Senate.

Speaking in support of the bill was someone whose mother had died of Leukemia, which is a pretty horrible way to die.  This group, however, showed up and suggested that REAL CARE was the solution.  It’s right there in the tweet.  All caps.

I’m not sure what that means when you are talking about someone facing a slow and painful death.

Does REAL CARE mean saying “sorry – I know this is unpleasant for you and we could ease your suffering but really – think about how the Catholic Conference will feel if I did that?”

What is REAL CARE?  I mean, I realize that you only have 140 characters in a tweet, but if you are going to throw that out there, you should at least explain what you mean.

Also in Local Politics, Republican Senators Introduce an Anti-Transgender Bill

I try not to be all about ripping on Republicans.  I have conservative friends who are good people.

But you conservative friends of mine need to figure out a way to get this kind of bullshit out of your party, OK?

Is this bathroom available to biological females only or biological males only?

Is this bathroom available to biological females only or biological males only?

The current battle we are fighting in the continuing civil rights war is, apparently, being fought in bathrooms all over the state and, as we will see in the next piece, the country.

But Their Bill Isn’t as Horrible as This One in North Carolina

In North Carolina, the bill was so offensive, Democrats walked out of the Senate rather than vote against it.  Later, the Governor signed what he claimed was a “bipartisan bill” because it turns out a couple of Democrats in the North Carolina house are transphobes.

Still, that’s a pretty ballsy claim to make when you know full goddamn well that the bill doesn’t pass without massive Republican support.  It is about as bipartisan as pro same-sex marriage bill.

This bill was passed because the State of North Carolina wanted to make sure that local governments couldn’t pass laws allowing transgendered individuals to use a bathroom of the gender with which they identify.  These laws are already on the books and because of transphobia that borders on psychosis, this bill was pushed through to keep them from being enacted.

And, of course, the bill equates transgenderism with sexual assault.  Because politicians in North Carolina are mistakenly still living in the eighteenth century where those kinds of opinions are commonplace and there is no research available to prove them 100% wrong.

Whatever justice replaces Scalia on the Supreme Court will be ruling on transgender rights.  I’m just suggesting we all think about that before we vote a Republican into the white house.  Ever.

Donald Trump Doesn’t Exactly Always Hire Americans

Trump is really worried about immigration even though the statistics suggest that illegal immigration is actually becoming less of a problem and maybe we should think about something other than building a big fucking wall to keep out Mexican rapists.

He’s not worried about hiring American workers, though.  And therein lies the problem with the “Trump tells the truth” narrative.

He actually doesn’t.

Someone needs to find Trump a cricket.

Someone needs to find Trump a cricket.

He doesn’t give a fuck about creating American jobs.  Because he personally isn’t interested in paying Americans a living wage.  Given the opportunity to hire Americans to work for $13 an hour, his company didn’t do it.

Trump has never done anything in his life that wasn’t about making things better for him.  If he is elected President, he will be thinking only about what makes things better for him.  If that interest coincides with what you want, lucky you.  More likely, it has nothing to do with what you need.

Because he genuinely doesn’t give a fuck about what you need.

The Occupiers of the Malheur Refuge left behind a Total Shithole

And by shithole, I mean they dug a latrine because they didn’t have running water.  Did they care that someone would have to clean that up?  Nope.  They didn’t give a shit.

Well actually, they gave a whole lot of them.

The cost to clean up their mess is in excess of $6.5 million.  So far.  That could build something like six feet of Donald Trump’s wall!


Ha ha! Just kidding.  I’m not sure it could even build a foot.

So just remember when these personal freedom fighters are talking about how much they hate the Feds having control over land – if these jackasses had control over the land, we have a pretty good idea what it would look like.

Florida Defunded Planned Parenthood But Don’t Worry, Ladies, You can get Your Healthcare at an Elementary School!

The conservative attack on Planned Parenthood continues with a Florida bill whose sole purpose is to defund Planned Parenthood because the right wing narrative involves pictures of Planned Parenthood employees shaking hands with Satan while kicking puppies.  Note that Satan isn’t kicking puppies.  What kind of asshole to you think he is?

On a side note...

On a side note…

The Florida bill helpfully includes a list of other providers who can provide the services instead of Planned Parenthood.  This list includes elementary schools, podiatrists, and at least one dentist.

I know what you’re thinking.  Someone didn’t vet this list before they attached it to the bill.  And you’re right.

Nobody fucking vetted the list before they attached it to the bill.

Because they didn’t give a shit about helping women find alternatives.  If they did, they wouldn’t have attached it to a bill which nobody but the legislative aides read.  If the legislators themselves can’t be bothered to read the bill, how can they expect the electorate to do it?

The message wasn’t about where women can get reproductive health care or contraception or LEGAL abortion.  The message was the Florida legislature was trying to stop Planned Parenthood from kicking puppies.  And also probably eating their young.

I really hope a whole bunch of women show up at the dentist asking for birth control pills.

Automatic Video Content

I keep meaning to complain about this but the weeks are so full of other things that I keep pushing it back.  No longer.

I’m sick to death of video content that runs automatically.  Listen up, news web sites.  If I wanted to watch the video content, I would have clicked on the play button!

Believe me - I know what they look like.

Believe me – I know what they look like.

That’s what it’s there for.  Otherwise, I don’t want my computer suddenly blaring a Ford commercial because you make it fucking impossible to click on the pause button until the commercial starts!

Sometimes, I want to watch your video content.  Sometimes I do not.

I believe that is my choice.  I don’t believe freedom of the press means you have the freedom to force your goddamned video content on me (or at least your ads).

And finally – my regular weekly reminder that I’m posting a short story every Wednesday.  This week, I wrote about a race in space.  

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About Petsnakereggie

Geek, movie buff, dad, musician, comedian, atheist, liberal and writer. I also really like Taco flavored Doritos.

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