Shit that Pissed me Off – 11/3/17

Trump Corner – Trump Insults the Press in Front of Their Children

Our President (who is a sexual predator) was taking part in a photo-op with children of members of the press. Basically, he was just supposed to be nice to the kids and give them some candy. If this was any other President, it wouldn’t be a problem.

But this is Trump and the parents were members of the Press. And that means there was no way he could get through a stupid photo-op without taking a stab at the them. Even if the they represented parents of the kids in the photo-op.

In addition to fat shaming kids by saying it was OK for them to eat candy because they didn’t seem to have a weight problem, he made sure he reminded the press how unfair they had been to him. I will remind you this was in front of their kids.

Mommy and the President are fighting again!

He told the press they did a good job with their kids. Which was nice, I guess. Then he pointed out they hadn’t done such a good job with him. Because if he was going to give their kids a Kit-Kat, he needed to point out how nice he was to do so given that their parents really hated him personally.

Trump does and says horrible things constantly. He’s a petulant six-year-old. But it is moments like this – moments where almost nobody is looking – that you can see his true personality in all of its grotesque glory.

He takes a photo opportunity and can’t resist making part of it about how awful everyone treats him. He’s a billionaire and the fucking President but he can’t stop being angry at the fact not everyone loves him.

The Proposed Plot of the Remake of Escape from New York

I don’t usually bitch too much about remakes because they should, honestly, be judged on their own merit as a film.  Most remakes are awful but that isn’t typically because they are remakes. It’s because making a really good film is actually hard.

But holy shit, I feel if you are going to remake a film, it ought to at least resemble the film you are remaking.  If reports about Escape from New York are accurate, the only things it will have in common with the original are the fact it is set in New York, the protagonists are trying to escape, one of the Protagonists is named Snake Pliskin, and the guy named Snake Pliskin wears an eye patch.

I suppose that is something and I get that the plot of the original film was a little flimsy but here’s the thing – nobody cared.  Bad ass Snake Pliskin gets the President out of New York, which is a dangerous place.  DONE!

You can totally change the reason the President is there. Or the reason Snake Pliskin is there.

What seems to be going on here, though, is someone who wanted to write their own story and figured they could get a few more butts in seats by setting it in New York and putting an eye patch on their main character.

Maybe it’ll be fine. I’m not boycotting the film or anything.

I just think if you are going to call something a remake, it ought to have some resemblance to the original.

You know, like The Day The Earth Stood Still…

CEO of Papa John’s Says Protesting Football Players are the Reason his Company isn’t as Profitable

As the official pizza of the NFL, “Papa” John Schattner figures that he should be making bank off of the people who sit on their couches and watch football every Sunday. I mean, what’s better than beer, shitty pizza, and football?

The answer to that depends on who you ask. Even so, NFL ratings are down (though not down as much as all television ratings have been the last few years). Those ratings being down have, potentially, affected sales for some of the official sponsors of the NFL.

So we need to blame someone. Why not blame the small percentage of NFL players taking a knee during the National Anthem?

Schattner is a conservative, which isn’t a crime, and has regularly said that every policy advanced by liberals means he’s going to have to punish his employees and customers. So when a bunch of NFL players take a knee to call attention to racial inequality in America, he proves their point by saying their actions means he isn’t selling as many pizzas to the middle class white people who are pissed off.

On the bright side – his statement inspired this. So it isn’t all bad!

Is it possible he’s forgotten that liberals eat pizzas too and every time he makes a bullshit statement like this, liberals figure that there are other shitty pizza options with CEOs who don’t regularly insult them?

Maybe it’s the liberals who aren’t ordering his pizza. Hell, I don’t know. Maybe what happened is one night, a whole bunch of people who have been eating Papa John’s ordered Pizza Hut or Little Caesar or Domino’s and said “holy shit – this is way better!”

Dick Spoils Other People’s Food and his Video Goes Viral

So a new thing the kids are doing these days is taking pictures of their food and posting it to Instagram.

For those of you who are unaware, “Instagram” is a social media platform where people share pictures of food.

I jest, of course, they also post selfies.

So this video, should you choose to watch, shows some self-satisfied jackass who has decided that what he’s going to do is fuck with his friends food right before they take their picture because, I guess, he’s tired of having friends.  Just as they are about to take their picture, he sticks his fork in their food and says “mush” because he’s so fucking clever and then he laughs.

The odds are most of these are staged. Maybe all of them are staged. Because how often are you taking a picture of your food at a restaurant while the guy across from you shoots a video and holds a fork without thinking “what’s his end game here?”

Doesn’t matter, though, because what he’s doing isn’t funny.

Got a problem with someone posting to Instagram at the dinner table? Let them take their picture and then say “could you wait until after dinner to post that?”

I mean, it only takes a minute and this is the world we live in and you could just accept that but if it really bugs you, say something. And by “something,” I don’t mean “mush.”

Or you would watch this staged video and decide the best way to deal with it is to be an asshole? Because you know people are going to watch this and think “damn – that looks hilarious! I’m going to do it too!”

Also, can we all agree to not allow anything shot vertically to go viral? We finally got rid of letter boxing and now nobody can hold their phone horizontally to shoot video.  It’s making me crazy.

Louisiana Supreme Court Determines there is Such a Thing as a “Lawyer Dog”

In something that can only be viewed as horrifyingly racist, the supreme court has ruled that a suspect was not sufficiently clear when he said “get me a lawyer, dog” (comma not in the original article but there’s no question it was there).

Apparently, he could have been asking for a lawyer or, perhaps asking for a lawyer dog. It just wasn’t clear enough for the officers questioning him and that means any statements made after he was not provided with a lawyer (or lawyer dog) were completely admissible.

Who’s a good lawyer dog????

So here’s the problem – the suspect was arrested for sexually assaulting minors. And he probably did it since he confessed after the police failed to provide him with a lawyer dog.  So this fucker should be in jail.

But what about the next time an African-American suspect asks for a lawyer and the police simply choose to “misunderstand” what he said? What if that guy is innocent?

The precedent is, to say the least, horrifying. Equally horrifying is the fact this rapist should be in jail because he’s a rapist, not because the courts decided that the police were too stupid to understand what he meant when he asked for a lawyer dog.

I hate to say this but what happens when this gets to the supreme court and they (I hope) overturn the ruling because it is bullshit?

A rapist goes free.

And the reason he goes free is because way back at the beginning of this mess, some police officers completely understood he was asking for a lawyer and chose to misinterpret his statement so they could squeeze a confession out of him.