Alphabetical Movie – The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)
Alfred Hitchcock is one of the directors film fans must watch. His worst movies are still crafted well and his best movies are – well – as good as anyone’s best movies. Ever.
I’m a film fan, not a film student. I can recognize why certain movies are shot well and why other movies are shot poorly. If you want me to explain why Hitchcock’s films are film school standards, I’m not going to do a great job. I just know that there is something to like in nearly all of his films.
As I’m going through all of the movies in my collection (oh so slowly at the moment), I’ve gone through many of Hitchock’s early films that are part of a set I own encompassing all of his British work.
Some of the movies in that group are not particularly good. Others, like this one, are considered part of his lasting legacy.
All of them are possibly the shittiest quality film transfers you can ever hope to see.
Here’s the thing – you get what you pay for.
If you pay $40 for a Criterion edition of The Seven Samurai, you are going to expect a really top quality transfer of the film in addition to thoughtful and well produced extras.
If you pay $40 for 30 Hitchcock films, you are aren’t going to get anything that even approaches that level of quality.
Friend a Day – Sara Stevenson Scrimshaw
Photo by Peter Verrant
I met Sara through her husband Joseph quite some time ago. I don’t remember when. I just remember being taken with her almost immediately.
Sara is a terrific dancer who can do a great job combining modern dance with comedy and storytelling. Her dances are always about something and always accessible to the audience. She’s graceful, yes. But she is also purposeful. Her movement has direction and emotion and I very much enjoy watching her dance.
When she was in Highlander: The Musical a few years ago, I learned she could also sing. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised but it was nice to see a new dimension of someone whom I already knew to be so talented.
What I’ve also learned is her skills as a comedian are as refined as her skills as dancer. She has great comic timing and a wonderfully expressive face. I’ve discovered all of these facets to her over the last few years and I don’t know why I keep being surprised. I guess I keep thinking there must be something she can’t do so darn well.
Sara is the organizational half of Joking Envelope with Joseph and I think it may be hard sometimes to see how important she is to their success. She is at every show handing out surveys, signing people up for the mailing list, and being the public face of their theatrical work.
She handles the details that need to be handled. And she does it with a smile and one of the most positive, friendly demeanors you are ever likely to encounter.
I enjoy spending time with her outside of theatrical work because she is so charming. She is thoughtful and interesting and funny.
Since she and Joseph have moved to California, I know that I’ll see her a lot less frequently so I hope to take advantage of the time I have when she is back in town. She’s simply someone who makes time pass more quickly when she is around and those are valuable friends to have.
Friend a Day – Terry Foy
Photo by Charles Hensley
Terry Foy interviewed me when I tried out for the Renaissance Festival almost thirty years ago. He taught me how to sing Ramblin’ Rover. Would I still be at the Renaissance Festival were it not for him? I doubt it.
With my schedule at the Festival, I only get to see his show once every few years these days. What impresses me about his work is the way he is subtly updating it every year. I must have heard the story of Loldigocks and the Bee Threars two dozen times. There are parts that haven’t change a bit in the time I’ve known him.
And there are other parts that have been altered slightly.
That’s the thing about Terry, he’s never finished with his work. He recognizes there is always a way he can make his show better.
I got to know him quite well when I was working as his Assistant Artistic Director in Arizona. It was hard work and I didn’t really know what I was doing at first. He helped me figure out what I was doing and he smoothed the road for me with people who were already there.
My own life needs meant that was a one year job. It was a job that taught me a lot and I’ll never forget it.
Terry has been a big supporter of The Dregs and whenever I tell him we are looking for new music, he sends me home with a CD filled with ideas. We might use one or two of the ideas but I think that has more to do with our work ethic than with his song choices.
I’ve found Terry to be a great role model because he has spent his life as a performer. He understands how to read an audience and he understands how to refine his show. If I tell him about a challenge I’m having, he always has a few ideas how to fix it.
Terry is a great performer and an even greater person. He’s got fantastic gifts as a performer and he’s always willing to share what he knows with others. I’ll always be grateful for what he’s taught me.
You can like his Zilch the Torysteller page on Facebook and you should!
Comedy Blog – Road Bison
As you may or may not know, I just spent a week in Yellowstone National Park. I learned a lot about geothermal features while I was there. I’m sure you are aware there are several such features in the park including Old Faithful and a lot of other features that aren’t Old Faithful. Nobody ever talks about those other features.
Another prominent feature of Yellowstone National Park is the bison. There are, at last count, somewhere around twelve billion bison within the boundaries of the park. After five days, you get a little blasé about them.
On our first day, we stopped for a picture whenever we saw a black lump in a field that might be a bison. By the time we left, we wouldn’t even slow down unless there were playing hopscotch or whist or something else that went beyond the typical behavior of standing in a field and chewing on grass while surrounded by two hundred other bison.
I’m not saying I never grew tired of seeing bison. Because I didn’t. At some point, however, seeing bison became the equivalent of watching Adrian Peterson play for the Vikings. Sure, it’s impressive. But is it really making much of a difference?
Friend a Day – Claire Alexander
I’ve known Claire ever since she showed up to interpret a Vilification Tennis show at CONvergence. Actually, I’ve known her longer than that but I didn’t really know her until that evening.
While I’m not her primary clientele, everything I know about Claire tells me that she is very good at what she does. She is passionate about doing her job as an interpreter and she does it in an entertaining and engaging way. When she is doing a comedy show (as she typically is when I’m involved), she understands that she needs to be as much of a comedian as the performers on the stage.
I find her naturally easy to talk to. We often end up as “Fringe Buddies” in years where I’m spending a lot of time watching/being in fringe shows. The walks between the shows are as pleasant as the shows themselves. Because it is the Fringe, some of the walks are far more pleasant than the shows themselves.
She tells stories about her life that are truly fascinating. She should write a show about her life as an interpreter. It would be a bit ironic, I think, that someone else would end up interpreting the show.
Claire seems to squeeze joy out of life. I rarely see her spend time being down nor do I ever hear about times when she is down. She just loves the hell out of being and that makes her one of the best people to see when you are down. You can’t stay down when she is around. It takes too much effort.
The amount of energy she has is staggering. I’ve never seen her exhausted although it has to happen at some point, right?
Having Claire around is something happened by accident but it sure was a great accident. I always look forward to being her Fringe Buddy.
Putting it Together – Overcommitment
When it comes to new projects, I have a problem. I don’t like to say “no.”
I’m sure that a lot of people in my position have this problem. I want to become a better writer. I want to become a paid writer. I want to do this kind of work full-time.
That means any time I say no to a writing project, I’m making it harder to get the writing projects I want. The more samples of my work I produce, the more I can point at someone and say “hey – don’t you want more of that something written by this guy right here? And wouldn’t you like to pay him something this time?”
Logically, it all makes sense. Where I have to remind myself to be careful is in the fact that I’m not doing this full-time right now.
It means I need to learn to be a little bit more picky. I don’t want to say no to the right projects because those are the ones that will help me get better. I need to say no to the projects that are exciting but don’t move me forward.
I’m always asking friends to write something for one of my shows. Many of them are very gracious and say yes. Others say they are really sorry but they just don’t have the time right now.
That isn’t hurtful or offensive. There is nothing wrong with having only so many hours in the day to work on something.
Friend a Day – Marc Baker
I haven’t known Marc very long. We met when he started dating Molly Zupon about two years ago. The two of us hit it off right away, I think.
Marc has a sense of humor that almost exactly matches mine. When we get together, we exist primarily to make Molly roll her eyes at us and/or squawk in disgust. I also like having Marc around because Molly doesn’t pay nearly as much attention to my nipples when he’s there.
I admire Marc because he’s a recovering alcoholic and when I’ve heard stories about his time as a drinker, I’m completely amazed to think that he made the decision to stop and has managed to remain sober. I know that it has to be a struggle every day but he meets that struggle with a good sense of humor (he was on Geeks Without God to talk about it).
He’s also very self-aware. When he realized that he was getting completely addicted to Facebook, he gave up on the platform right away. I think that he’s got a determined character. When he decided that something needs to be done, he takes action immediately.
One way in which that trait manifests itself is in the way he will tell someone when he likes something they’ve done. He’s quick to complement someone for their work when he enjoys it. As someone who has received more than one of those complements, it is a great gesture of respect.
He’s a lot more physically active than I am, which is a trait I should work harder to emulate.
Marc is very confident with who he is, which is rare. He is open about his weaknesses and proud of his strengths. He never pretends to be someone who he is not.
I often joke that Marc and I are boyfriends and while that is mostly done to make Molly jealous, I would totally date Marc if both of us were interested in other men. I’m really happy he’s my friend. The physical side will have to wait.
Friend a Day – Jenni Klumpp
I’ve known Jenni since she and Perrin began dating back in the early years of CONvergence. Since then, we’ve vacationed together several times and I really enjoy her company.
Jenni is very proud of being a librarian. She has worked very hard to make that her career and she takes it very seriously. Her work is important to her and it should be because librarians are awesome.
She is very socially conscious and is one of the people I listen to when I’m trying to form an opinion on a subject. She has usually done a lot more reading on the topic than I.
Having vacationed with her and Perrin so many times, I find we have a very easy relationship as traveling companions. We don’t rely on each other and make our own daily plans but there are certain things we all like and try to make sure we do together. Like trivia contests.
We kill at trivia contests.
At dinner, we all get together and tell stories about our day. Jenni always has the best stories about what other people have been doing. I think it’s because she’s a very observant person. She just notices things. Then she is kind enough to share what she has noticed with the rest of us.
Jenni has a great playful nature that makes her fun to be around. She has a good sense of humor and always has something interesting to talk about.
She’s got a strong social conscience and is always paying attention to issues that I also believe to be important. When she posts something, I’m always going to take the time to read it. I think what is important to me is that she does her research before posting.
I may have met Jenni because of who she happened to be dating but I’m very glad that I’ve had the time to get to know her over the last several years. She’s one of my favorite people.
Shit that Pissed Me off – 5/23
I’m on vacation this week so my column will be a bit short. However, much like last year when I was visiting National Parks for my Spring vacation, the other people in the parks had ample opportunities to piss me off. So I’ll probably just focus on that.
Use a Trash Bag or Get Out
About twenty years ago, I visited Hawaii Volcanoes National Park with my wife, mom, and brother. At one stop, we stepped out on to pitch black lava floes that had covered the highway on their way out to the ocean. In the distance, we could see where an active lava flow was pouring into the Pacific. It was amazing.
As I walked across that pitch black lava rock, I glanced down and saw a cigarette butt. And another. And another.
So I started to pick them up. By the time I left that part of the park, I’d filled a large plastic bag with trash.
Every time I go to a park, I bring a bag and fill it with trash. If I’m there for several days, I might fill several bags. And there is never a shortage of trash.
It took nature millions of years to make this view? I can ruin it in five seconds!
I’m not talking about a hat that blew off in the wind. I’m talking about candy wrappers, kleenex, and scores of cigarette butts. Nobody drops a cigarette butt by accident.
If you throw butts on your kitchen floor, that is your business. I’m not telling you that you can’t smoke in Yellowstone. I’m telling you that a fumarole isn’t more impressive with your finished Marlboro lying on the side of it. If you can’t respect that, you should do the rest of us a favor and stay in the car.
Other People Want to Look at That Thing Too, Asshole
Hey, guess what? If you are at Old Faithful and it is erupting for about 90 seconds and you are sitting on a bench and there are people standing behind you, don’t stand up and block their picture so someone can take a shot of you standing in front of the geyser!
NOT more impressive with a stranger in front of it.
If you wanted that picture, you should have found a different place to watch the geyser. Because when you block the view for other people, you are really saying that you don’t give a flying fuck if they want to see the geyser because it’s really just there for your enjoyment.
Not that you are enjoying it because your back is to the fucking geyser.
Stay on the Path or Die
In Yellowstone, the ground around thermal features is quite brittle. If you walk on it, you could break through and find yourself in water that is near boiling. There are signs all over the place telling you this fact.
There’s also the simple fact that the ground around these features is made of very soft rock and when you walk on it, you crush it. Unless you are a complete idiot, you should realize that the terraces at Mammoth hot springs are a lot more impressive than your footprint.
All those people who aren’t on the footpath? They are standing on the edge of an erratic geyser so they can get a great picture just before it erupts and scalds them to death. At least that is how the scenario plays out in my dreams.
If you need a picture of yourself standing really close to a geyser, try Photoshop. You will look at that picture a couple of times. If you cook that leg off, you’ll have something that lasts a lot longer but is that really the souvenir you were looking for?
The Reason There Are Signs Telling You to Stop Being an Idiot is Because a Lot of Other People Have Already Been Idiots
Here’s a picture of a sign with a warning that should not have been necessary.
At the bottom of the sign, you are told that removal of this sign could cause injury to others. Because they won’t know there is a BEAR nearby. Probably a mother bear with cubs, given the time of year. Exactly the kind of creature you don’t want to encounter.
So why do you suppose they have to tell you to leave the sign alone? Because someone has removed one of them before.
Whoever did it probably thought it was funny. Won’t it be hilarious if a hiker is mauled by a bear because I took away the sign that might have saved them?
No. It really won’t.
If Someone is Taking a Picture of Something, Don’t Walk in Front of Them
I’m not a birder specifically but I like to figure out what animals I’m watching. Frequently, that means I’ll try to take a picture of the bird I’m looking at to identify it later.
For those unfamiliar with birds, a lot of them are fairly skittish and if someone does something like walking in front of a photographer, they’ll fly away.
I think that what most folks at these parks fail to understand is that the park isn’t there for them. It is there for everyone.
That means when someone is trying to take a picture, you can give them five seconds to get the shot. How hard is that really? Unless there is a geyser erupting right now, the odds are you can wait five seconds to look at the next hot spring. I’m sure it looks really cool because they all look really cool.
Trust me, I’ve taken pictures of every single one of them.
Yes. Even these two.
But those pools don’t change too much in five seconds. So let me take a picture of a damned bird, OK?
Friend a Day – Gordon Smuder
Photo by Damon Thrift
I’ve known Gordon from olden Renaissance Festival days. He has moved on to become a puppeteer and the producer of Transylvania Television.
Gordon is not only a great puppeteer, he is also extremely talented at building puppets as well. Last year, I decided I wanted to do a puppet show for CONvergence opening ceremonies and I asked Gordon to help out. Most important was a puppet version of the convention mascot, Connie. Oh, and a puppet version of a Dalek and The TARDIS.
He completely nailed the design on all of them because he’s just that good. You give him an idea and he is going to pull it off because he’s a perfectionist.
I’ve been working with him as a writer for the last several months and he is a very good collaborative partner. He let’s you write what you are going to write but if he feels something needs a push, he’ll offer a few good comments to get your work back on track.
Gordon is very geeky about certain things, like Sid & Marty Krofft shows. It made me think of him when I was looking at Puff n’ Stuff Geyser in Yellowstone this week. I don’t know if the geyser of the TV show came first but it doesn’t matter.
As a puppeteer, he knows how to bring out the best in all of the characters he performs. He’s one of those people who recognizes he is best as a supporting character rather than a lead. I’d love to see him offer classes in puppeteering. I don’t imagine too many people would take them and that would be a shame because he has a lot of good information to share.
When he sits panels at CONvergence, I know that he will have done his research and will have a lot of good information to share. He’s serious about being a fan and being a puppeteer and he wants to make sure that his audience gets the most out of their time.
I am sometimes amazed at the talented people with whom I work. Gordon is one of those people. I’m lucky to know him.
Grail Diary 