Alphabetical Movie – Left Behind
Left Behind requires no suspension of disbelief because it expects that you already believe. There can be no other explanation for the film. If you haven’t already been brainwashed into accepting the kooky concept of rapture, this movie is not going to convince you that it is anything but kooky.
The god of the rapture is a dick. I would enjoy having a debate with anyone who thinks otherwise and I would use this movie as an example.
Let’s look at a few examples taken right out of Left Behind, shall we?
Alphabetical Movie – Lawrence of Arabia
Some movies just need to be seen in a movie theatre.
As home video becomes more and more prevalent, it is hard to understand that movies are movies for a reason. Yes, I love watching films on my video screen at home.
But that experience is an entirely different one from watching a film projected on the big screen.
If you haven’t seen Lawrence of Arabia in 70mm, for instance, you haven’t really seen it at all.
In one remarkable shot, the camera simply focuses on the desert. The shot is held for a long time and nothing changes. Slowly, a figure becomes apparent in the distance and the shot is held as that figure grows.
Alphabetical Movie – Last Train from Gun Hill
Kirk Douglas, guys. Just look at the guy!
No, motherfuckers. I’M Spartacus!
He’s a manly man if ever there was a manly man! The dude is almost 100 and has had a stroke and he still could kick my ass. Of course, I’m pretty sure my eight year old could kick my ass.
Don’t tell him that….
Alphabetical Movie – Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero is a film that, depending on who you ask, is either an expensive failure or far better than people think. In geek circles, it is one of those movies that typically inspires lengthy tirades about how the movie is misunderstood and how the critics were idiots and how the movie is actually brilliant.
And when it comes to the critical savaging the film received, I’m in general agreement that they blew it. The movie wasn’t as bad as all that. It isn’t that bad at all. In fact it is, at times, very good.
I’d stop short of calling it brilliant.
Alphabetical Movie – Ladyhawke
I like Ladyhawke but it is hampered by one of the worst movie trends of the 1980’s.
I’m talking, of course, about the 80’s synthtrack.
Bad in the best of films, having pulsing 80’s synthesizer music play over a medieval fantasy love story is just about as painful as the re-tuned version of “Losing my Religion.”
Alphabetical Movie – The Lady Vanishes
Most of The Lady Vanishes takes place on a train and it got me wondering – what is it with trains in movies?
Alfred Hitchcock, we know, had a thing for trains. I suppose that is to be expected given that he comes from Europe, where people actually ride trains. He was so enamored with trains, he even made Strangers on a Train. We won’t even talk about the train going into the tunnel at the end of North by Northwest.
Except I just did.
Alphabetical Movie – Lady Jane
I have to wonder why anyone in England would have wanted to be born royalty. Seems to me that anyone who was Royalty in the 16th and 17th centuries came out of the womb with a dotted line across their necks to make it easier for the headsman to do his job.
Certainly a movie about the era is not complete without at least once character getting their head chopped off. Usually it’s the main character but at times, five or six secondary characters also get similar treatment.
They’re sort of collateral damage.
Alphabetical Movie – Lady and the Tramp
Please note: I didn’t know the man so what I’m saying is complete speculation
I don’t think Walt Disney was a cat person.
What Lady and the Tramp teaches us, among other things, that dogs are capable of caring for human babies and cats will make every effort to destroy them. While the film stops short of having the cats try to steal the babies’ breath, it sure doesn’t make cats look like loving creatures that could bring warmth and happiness to any home.
It isn’t really fair to judge Disney by one movie, though. Looking at the “classic” Disney films (the ones made before his death), let’s see how cats make out, shall we?
Well..there’s 101 Dalmatians. That movie has..a whole lot of dogs…and…um…one cat. He’s a nice cat so that’s something, I suppose. Of course he is involved in a strange military hierarchy where he is out ranked by a dog and a horse. A horse? Had these people met a cat before? There is not a cat on this planet that would take orders from a horse.
From a cat perspective, the fact horses allow themselves to be saddled and ridden is the source of ridicule and contempt. At least it would be if cats could bring themselves to give a shit about horses.
Alphabetical Movie – Labyrinth
I’m putting it right out front – I don’t want to hate on David Bowie, OK? I love David Bowie.
I love his music. I had Changesoneboowie on vinyl! When he appeared on the Bing Crosby Christmas special to sing that messed up version of Little Drummer boy, I was excited about it because David Bowie was singing with some old pipe smoking dude with an annoying voice!
Alphabetical Movie – L.A. Story
I’ve been to a lot of places on vacation and almost every single one of them is a place I’d love to see again.
L.A. isn’t one of those places. For a city filled with movie stars, it just didn’t really feel all that interesting to me. Maybe I went to the wrong parts.
Actually, we were mostly there to spend time at Disneyland. I liked Disneyland. But Disneyland is in Anaheim. Actually, it isn’t really in Anaheim. It is in “magical Disney place” and has nothing to do with Anaheim, L.A. or the real world. While there, though, we took the time to drive into L.A for a day.
Grail Diary 