Hey – you *can* punk a liberal!
I totally got punked by this article yesterday. I was surfing through links that looked interesting and given my well documented distaste for Rick Santorum, I couldn’t resist reading about the latest stupid thing he said. For some masochistic reason, I like to get riled up by the stuff he says.
Usually, I can spot a satirical article. Not this time. I totally bought it because, I guess, I really think Santorum is that stupid.
I told my wife about the article as part of the whole “guess what idiotic thing Santorum said today” conversation we have most every evening. She did the natural thing and looked it up. This morning, my wife pointed out to her husband (the comedian) that the article was satire and perhaps I shouldn’t rant about it online because if I did, I’d look like an idiot.
Here is something everyone who knows me needs to understand: for every stupid ass thing I’ve said in public, there are at least five things I never said because my wife stopped me. Why have we been married 22 years? Lots of reasons but primary among them is the simple fact that she frequently compels me to think before I act.
In my feeble defense, let me point out that this article fooled a lot of people. Just read the comment section.
Also in my defense, I would totally buy that Santorum believes the Sun revolves around the Earth. I’m pretty certain some of the people voting for him believe that. He does believe some pretty crazy shit.
No matter my excuse, I completely believed an article that was a clear joke.
I’m often amused by the way a lot of social conservatives assume Onion articles to be true. Look at those idiots, I think, they actually believe this obviously satirical piece! What morons!
I can no longer feel superior to them, though, except in one important way. My spouse is clearly smarter than theirs.
Statistics about Gas Prices (See Also – Damn Lies about Gas Prices)
In reading the news while unable to sleep, I came across this article where Mitt Romney is blaming President Obama for rising gas prices. To be fair, he is saying that Obama should fire some advisors who have given him advice resulting in higher gas prices.
Such a statement is bullshit because no administration can have much of an effect on gas prices and it is simply being used to convince people that they should ignore the fact that Romney is an auton.
Limerick for Santorum
My mom is going to a Limerick party this weekend and she asked me if I had any ideas. Since anything I write can’t be an official entry (I’m not going to the party), here’s mine:
There once was a guy named Santorum
Whose views reached the National Forum
He hated the pill
And though gays were ill
We tried but we couldn’t ignore ‘im
Shit That Pissed me off This Week – 3/9
Brittany Spears’ Criminal
Three times in a row my weekly tirade has started with a song that made me angry. I’m sorry about that. They keep playing this crap at work and I can’t escape.
The thing that annoys me about this song is the musical hook. It is horrible and they won’t stop playing it. It feels like the entire song is that one banal progression of notes.
Those notes are, oddly, the exact opposite of an earworm to me. Instead of being a tune I can’t get out of my head, it is a tune I instantly forget until it gets played again and I remember how much I hate it.
It’s like having short term memory loss. I forget about the song until it gets played again so every time I heard it, I get to say “what the hell is this horrible song? Oh, it’s that one.” That might not be so bad except for the fact the annoyance doesn’t subside with repeated exposure to the song. Completely unfair.
Riddle me this
So Rick Santorum is a devout Catholic.
And Rick Santorum is also an outspoken creationist who believes that teaching kids evolution is actually a plot to turn kids into atheists.
The Catholic Church believes there is no conflict between evolution and the Catholic Faith although they do support the view that human evolution was “guided” by god. They accept scientific findings as to the age of the earth and fossil records.
Devout Catholics are supposed to follow the teachings of Rome.
All of this leads me to the question: is Santorum all that devout or is he really just an opportunistic jackass?
Shit that pissed me off this week – 3/2
Forgive the absence of my weekly bitch session – I’ve been on vacation for the last two weeks. Some of this stuff is a little old but I wanted to bitch about it anyway.
Shit that pissed me off – 2/10
The autotuned “Time of My Life” by the Black Eyed Peas
I know this song has been around for a long time but the new radio station at work has this blasted thing on a heavy rotation and I want to cause physical damage to the speakers every time it is on.
I don’t mind cover songs at all. The original of this song is hardly one of the greatest songs every written. What it does have, however, is voices that sound like they feel something close to the emotion conveyed in the song lyrics.
Try this: turn on your computer’s voice simulator and have it say “I love you.” Now have your significant other do the same thing (preferably right after you’ve helped them have an orgasm). Which do you prefer? If you answered “a,” you will probably love the version of the song above. If not – stick with the original.
Shit that pissed me off this week – 2/3
My biggest problem with Dayton is his lack of fire. Like most Democrats, he caves when the stakes get too high (and by “stakes get too high” I mean “there is a conflict of any sort”). Here, though, he tells it like it is. Anderson stepped down from her seat in the legislature to take this position and the confirmation should have been a slam dunk.
Unless you have a bunch of partisan jackasses in charge who want to make a power play. Dayton points out that their excuse is complete bullshit but that doesn’t matter. They already performed their hatchet job as a way to flex their muscle.
My conservative friends will point out the Democrats made similar moves when they were in charge. Yes, they absolutely did. I didn’t like it when the Democrats did it either. Elected officials should do their fucking job – not use it to engage in petty partisan power plays.
Maybe Dayton will use this as an opportunity to finally call the Republican Legislature out on their Bullshit. A Guy can Hope.
I fucking HATE Rick Santorum
Hate is a big word. It isn’t a word you should just throw around because it gets people interested. I don’t, honestly, hate a lot of people. I dislike people. I don’t enjoy spending time with some people. You need to be a special kind of jackass for me to hate you.
Rick Santorum is a special kind of jackass.
Grail Diary 
