Yesterday, I was invited to be the featured reader at the Not-So-Silent Planet, a speculative fiction open mic presented by Wordsprout. I was flattered and, of course, incredibly nervous because I didn’t know what I was going to write and, as always, I had no idea if it was the least bit funny.
The inspiration for this particular story came from the phrase “I just wish there weren’t so many bass players.” I don’t know why as I have no particular hatred for bass players. The phrase just struck me as funny. Over the course of the day, I managed to find a bunch of words to wrap around that phrase and this is the story that emerged. Honestly, I think it works better read aloud.
But I liked it. And I think it worked well. So I’m putting it out on the internet for people to enjoy or ignore. Warning: this story does not contain any cats.
This moron is probably going to win, too.
He saw a rock sculpture and thought it looked like a lot of fun to climb around on it. I don’t blame him. I would have thought the same thing. I would need a taser and some bungee cords to stop my kids from climbing on something like that.
There were no signs telling him he couldn’t so he jumped on the thing, landed awkwardly and tore his Achilles tendon. Ouch!
Now he’s suing the city. Because he did a reckless thing and hurt himself. Also because he probably has crappy health insurance.
Look dude, if you are going to jump on a rock because it looks like fun, you need to recognize the risks. If you don’t want to get hurt, don’t jump on the fucking rock.
The only unsafe condition the city created was they one they created when they allowed you to leave your house every morning.