This moron is probably going to win, too.
He saw a rock sculpture and thought it looked like a lot of fun to climb around on it. I don’t blame him. I would have thought the same thing. I would need a taser and some bungee cords to stop my kids from climbing on something like that.
There were no signs telling him he couldn’t so he jumped on the thing, landed awkwardly and tore his Achilles tendon. Ouch!
Now he’s suing the city. Because he did a reckless thing and hurt himself. Also because he probably has crappy health insurance.
Look dude, if you are going to jump on a rock because it looks like fun, you need to recognize the risks. If you don’t want to get hurt, don’t jump on the fucking rock.
The only unsafe condition the city created was they one they created when they allowed you to leave your house every morning.
This weekend, Fearless Comedy will be putting on Die Laughing, a fifty hour comedy marathon. Right now, it looks like we might get hammered with a massive snow storm as the event starts but that doesn’t matter. We’re going to make this show happen.
The good news is that the entire event will be streaming so you can watch it even if you decide to cower in your home. And I’ll be doing a lot of performing that weekend. Here’s a schedule if you are just going nuts wondering when I’ll be on stage again.
Friday, April 4th, 7:00 PM – Big Fun Radio Funtime
We’ll be doing encore presentations of two of our favorite scripts and then Geoffrey Brown and I will perform 30 minutes of original Citizens’ Band tunes! We’ll also introduce our weekend long songwriting challenge.
Friday, April 4th – 10:00 PM – Vilification Tennis
There will be insults a-plenty and Duck Washington will debut as our newest cast member! Also, Kelvin Hatle will present his brilliant “News from Lake Vilbegone.”
Friday, April 4th – 11:00 PM – Geeks Without God
We’ll be recording a live podcast featuring comedian Patrick Bauer. The topic will be Tarantino movies. Pop culture reference!
Saturday, April 5th – 4:00 PM – PowerPoint Karaoke
I’ll be sitting in judgement on comedians who are making up a presentation from scratch! Is it far that I judge them? Yes it is fair! For I am ME and I SHALL wield petty power!
Saturday, April 5th – 8:00 PM – 12:00 AM – Hosting
I won’t be the star of the show but I’ll be introducing them!
Sunday, April 6th – 1:00 AM – Geeks Without God
Our second live podcast will feature Elizabeth Ess! We are going to talk about Hobby Lobby and birth control. Should be totally filled with comedy about knitting. There is also a decent chance I’ll be bald at this point.
Sunday, April 6th – 2:00 PM – Judging a Book By It’s Cover
I’ll be hosting this silly game in which contestants must describe the plot of a book based only on the cover illustration.
Sunday, April 6th – 6:00 PM – The Dregs
The Dregs will be doing our music and comedy thing with a special challenge to help raise money. Song choices go to the highest bidder!
Sunday, April 6th – 8:00 PM – Fearless Lab
A completely random hour of Fearless Comedy! And I’m the host! If Geoffrey and I get paid to write any songs, we’ll be performing them during this final hour of the marathon! It’ll be awesome! I’m using all exclamation points because I’ll probably be hopped up on Five Hour Energy Drink at this point in the weekend!