Jon Standard is a Utah politician who, like a lot of other Utah Politicians, is a Mormon and a Republican. He believes that “traditional” marriage should be between one man and one woman (but that’s only because the Mormon church no longer encourages bigamy) and recently helped pass tougher laws for people who solicit prostitutes.
He was forced to resign last week because he solicited a prostitute. He claims it is because his father has cancer and I feel very bad for his father because this jackass is using someone else’s terminal disease as an excuse.
I’m sure that the right is going to say this one Mormon Republican lawmaker in an extremely conservative state who is likely to be replaced by another Mormon Republican lawmaker is being targeted for a hit job by this prostitute who is lying because she’s a prostitute and you can’t trust a prostitute.
I mean, she says he hired her to do a job and she did it so I’m feeling like she’s pretty reliable, you know?
Oh, and he may have used taxpayer funds to pay for the hotel where he hooked up with her. Smaller government!
This week, I’ve been visiting the National Parks of Utah as well as The Grand Canyon.*
Whenever anyone visits The Grand Canyon, they typically tell you that they have no words to describe it and I think I know why.
Simply put, someone already came up with the best way to describe The Grand Canyon and that description is “The Grand Canyon.”
“The” – it is the only one.
“Grand” – Can describe something that is both big (it most definitely is) and impressive (yep).
“Canyon” – describes a geological feature that directly corresponds with the geological feature one is viewing.
So “The Grand Canyon” is a name that implies you are looking at a canyon that is big, impressive, and unique. And so it is. The job has been done so perfectly as to pose an impossible challenge for everyone who tries to describe the place on their own. I, therefore, will not make any attempts to describe The Grand Canyon in deference to whoever managed to knock the ball out of the park before the ball game had even started.
Instead, I will tell you the story of a sunrise and a planet.
She didn’t cancel the talk because she was threatened, you understand. She was still going to speak.
But she asked for protection against someone who claimed he was going to open fire on her and Utah law prevented police from patting down attendees at the event.
So a guy (I’m assuming it was a guy) threatens to shoot her and the police can’t even stop anyone from carrying a gun to her talk. Because the right to carry a firearm wherever the fuck you want is more important than the right to keep people with firearms out of a place where someone has threatened to kill people with a firearm.
And spare me the good guy with the gun/bad guy with a gun thing. If the bad guy with a gun gets into the event, he (again I’m assuming it is a guy) will be able to kill his target before anyone kills him. And that’s all he cares about.
So best case scenario is this asshole (who was probably making empty threats but they still worked) would have died after accomplishing his stated goal. Which is what he expected would happen anyway. Great solution, Utah!
Please note that I’m not talking about Gamergate for a few reasons. First, it has been talked to death and the people doing most of the talking are assholes who don’t deserve my time.
And second, we need to stop naming every scandal after Watergate. It is just so completely unoriginal. Have you guys heard of the Teapot Dome Scandal? That’s a great name for a scandal! Now everything is NounGate.
Nixon is dead, folks. We need to move on.