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Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/16/18

Utah Anti GLBTQIA+ Lawmaker Resigns over Allegations He Solicited a Prostitute

Jon Standard is a Utah politician who, like a lot of other Utah Politicians, is a Mormon and a Republican. He believes that “traditional” marriage should be between one man and one woman (but that’s only because the Mormon church no longer encourages bigamy) and recently helped pass tougher laws for people who solicit prostitutes.

He was forced to resign last week because he solicited a prostitute. He claims it is because his father has cancer and I feel very bad for his father because this jackass is using someone else’s terminal disease as an excuse.

John Wayne had cancer. Maybe he should have stepped down because of John Wayne’s cancer.

I’m sure that the right is going to say this one Mormon Republican lawmaker in an extremely conservative state who is likely to be replaced by another Mormon Republican lawmaker is being targeted for a hit job by this prostitute who is lying because she’s a prostitute and you can’t trust a prostitute.

I mean, she says he hired her to do a job and she did it so I’m feeling like she’s pretty reliable, you know?

Oh, and he may have used taxpayer funds to pay for the hotel where he hooked up with her. Smaller government!

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/9/18

White House Defends Senior Official Who is a Serial Abuser

I know the headline would make you think that I’m talking about our President but I think that it is important to note he is a sexual predator. While he may also be physically abusive, I think the odds of that are slim because it would require him to engage in strenuous physical activity.

No – that is not a dig on his weight. I’m just saying that I think he’s lazy.

However, this week it came to light that White House staff Secretary Rob Porter physically abused both of his ex-wives.

Now I now the narrative is to say “look – we all know that when a woman accuses a Democrat of being physically or sexually abusive, it has to be the truth. But this is a Republican and members of the Republican party are only accused of such activities as part of a massive plot perpetuated by the liberal media.”

Did you know if you type Liberal Media Plot into a Google Search, you get a ton of pictures of Rush Limbaugh?

That is certainly the narrative the White House seems to favor as they rally behind Porter and say he’s very good at his job and they didn’t know his home life included regular assault and battery.

At least not before last fall.  They knew last fall.  So maybe they were surprised then. But they aren’t surprised now.

Look, I don’t know that every transgression one commits in life should necessarily prevent one from holding a job. Using marijuana, for instance, should not result in being raped by cops (see below). But being someone who regularly beats women? I don’t think you should be able to work in the White House.

And I definitely don’t think the White House should be defending your sorry ass.

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/2

Predominantly White Church Advertises for a Black Reader to help Increase their Diversity

When you read the ad, you think it has to be a complete fabrication because nobody would be so stupid as to say they are looking for an African-American to make them look more diverse. They certainly wouldn’t be so crass as to offer $10 and “all the doughnuts you can carry, would they?”

And they definitely wouldn’t include “must be able to read” in the job description, right?

This is a tricky one to write about because while the ad looks genuine, I haven’t been able to find the source. Snopes is silent on it so far so I’m going to guess it is genuine.  Or maybe it isn’t.

I’m so upset about something right now, but I don’t know what it is!

Thing is – if it is some kind of joke post to generate a response from the internet, it is too believable to be funny. The reason it is generating a response is because it doesn’t feel like something that is impossible. And I mean, who is your target for ridicule? Black people who would be justifiably offended by it?

So either this is real and it was generated by a clueless moron or it is fake and it was generated by a clueless moron.

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/26/18

School System Blames Late Busses on a Weather Report They Already Knew About

OK, so a little perspective.

Last year, my band had a holiday show scheduled on a day that was forecast to have a horrible snow storm. Even though we didn’t know how bad the story would end up being, we chose to cancel the show and refund the tickets because driving was supposed to be dangerous. The snow happened but it wasn’t nearly as bad as predicted and we could have done the show.

Earlier this week, a gigantic storm was predicted by every weather service. The local school systems opted to close school slightly early and the result was a lot of busses trying to get kids home in the midst of the worst of it. Some children were stuck on busses until past midnight.

That, my friends, is a logistical failure.

Who (aside from every meteorologist in the country) could have predicted this would happen?

Now far be it from me to add to the outrage culture in a weekly blog entitled “Shit that Pissed me Off” but the problem here is the fact the school system then blamed the weather forecast with the implication they never could have known how bad it was going to be. This ignores from the fact they were told how bad it was going to be.

It wasn’t snowing in the morning. I know because I dropped my kid off at school and it wasn’t snowing. By noon, it was horrible. Again, I know because I drive for a living and I was driving in it.

The issue here isn’t the fact kids got stuck on school busses. It’s easy to say “they should have known because they literally did know” but when do you cancel school? Before the storm hits? What if we only get an inch? So they tried to send kids home early once it was clear the storm was going to be as bad as predicted but the end result was they waited too long and some kids (and their parents) had a really shitty night.

Where they screwed up was in blaming the weather report rather than saying “we screwed up.”

The weather report was right. They didn’t act fast enough. They should simply blame themselves.*

*Note: Later in the week, the Superintendent of the St. Paul Schools sent out a very well worded apology that blamed their own shortcomings. So good for him.

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/19/18

Douchebag MRA Makes a Fan Edit of The Last Jedi to Remove all the Women

It has been a month but this next bit is going to include Last Jedi SPOILERS! Read not forward, dear friends, lest you learn too much!

The edit is 46 minutes long and pulled from a bad videotape of the movie someone made in the theater. Because when women are given power, it is important to strip away that power as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Now one might think this is a parody. Perhaps, you imagine, some person with a sense of humor saw all these nerdbros bemoaning the fact that Princess Leia rightly criticized Poe Dameron for failing to follow a direct order or that Admiral Holdo wasn’t a dude and thought “I’m going to make an edit that takes out all the girls because that would be hilarious.”

Nope. that’s not what happened. Instead, this shitbag literally believes that Leia was in the wrong when she demoted Poe for getting every Resistance bomber destroyed in an attack that served no purpose.  So he edited it out to make Poe look like a hero who didn’t have to learn anything.

Does this look like a guy who should ever have to take orders from a woman? I didn’t think so.

And you know why? It isn’t because that was a bad story arc. No – it’s because the person teaching Poe that lesson was a woman.

The edit also removes Rey (of course) because the Jedi are dudes! Just look at them waving around that phallic laser sword all the time! Girls wouldn’t want to do that! They should be in the kitchen pouring blue milk!

What truly annoys me is that this guy might have a girlfriend. Or a wife. Or a daughter. He definitely has a mother.

But who gives a fuck about the women in his life, right? He probably loves them a lot. It’s just the women in his movies that he hates.

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/5

It is a new year and late last year, I had trouble putting this column out every week. I’m going to do better this year but I have to tell you, this shit is hard.

It isn’t hard to write but when the White House is such an amazing shit show, things get a little tiring. I could write 1000 words about the asshole in the oval office every single week but I just hate even thinking about the guy.

So for the folks who look forward to my weekly rants, I’m sorry they’ve been so inconsistent. Let’s just start with the dick in the White House, shall we?

Donald Trump Responds to a Threat from North Korea by Making a Dick Joke

Does it bother anyone else that the most mature person in an exchange is Kim Jong Un? I don’t want to speak out for the guy who is the head of a recklessly oppressive regime that seems more interested in developing a nuclear bomb than they do in feeding their own people.

But when he rattled his saber, at least he didn’t do so by referencing his dick size.

Trump pointed out that Un is an oppressive leader by observing he has a “depleted and food starved regime” which, for once, was accurate. Then he proceeded to point out that he had a much larger dick nuclear button than Un.

I mean, maybe Trump and Un regularly exchange dick nuclear button pics so he has some knowledge of their comparative size.

It’s also a really bad analogy. This doesn’t look anything like a penis.

Thing is, we need to remember that our President is a sexual predator.  He is always thinking about his penis.  It is the central obsession of his life.

When he makes a tax proposal, he is thinking about how it will affect his penis. When he appoints a justice to the supreme court, he is thinking about his penis.  Making a dick nuclear button joke on Twitter is one of the most honest things he’s ever done because he is pointing out that when he thinks about nuclear war, he’s thinking about his penis.

He sends unsolicited dick pics to himself. And he likes it.

Three more years (oh please) of this asshole.

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Shit that Pissed me Off – 12/15/17

Roy Moore Lost But He Is Just as Much of  Petulant Asshole as Ever

I mean, I guess we should applaud Moore, who has a history of not listening when those who wield more power than him (be it the Supreme Court or the people of Alabama) tell him no.  He may be stubbornly refusing to concede an election he lost but at least he’s consistent. You have to admire a guy who will always stubbornly marshall on even when he has so clearly lost.

Except you really don’t. The thing to do when you lose an election is to admit you lost the election and move on.  Hell, even Hillary Clinton was able to deliver a concession speech and she was beaten by Donald Trump.

Oh boy – this is gonna suck worse than the Benghazi hearings.

Let me tell you something, Roy Moore, the only thing worse than conceding victory to Donald Trump would be conceding victory to…you. Given that, I think you should be able to concede an election to Doug Jones.

You don’t have to wait long. You can run again in 2020. And even though you are a racist, misogynist, child molester, you only lost by 1.5 percentage points. If you can figure out a way to get just a few more white people to the polls, you can deliver one hell of a victory speech.

For now, however, why don’t you try to exhibit some class and concede?

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