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Shit that Pissed me Off – 12/9

Mall of America Hires a Black Santa Claus and Racists Lose their Shit

For four days, US Army Veteran Larry Jefferson was the official Santa Claus at the Mall of America.  He was also black.  The result was a whole lot of black kids got to sit on the lap of a Santa who looked like them.  Sounds awful.

It sure was to these racists who believe that white characters should stay white no matter how mythological those figures might be.

A black santa is as outrageous as a female President!

A black santa is as outrageous as a female President!

The racists spouting their hatred for the concept of a Santa that wasn’t pasty white got so out of hand, the Star Tribune had to shut down comments on the article.

Now I will admit that the legends that gave rise to Santa Claus would certainly suggest a white Santa Claus is more accurate than – say – a white Jesus.  However, it would seem to me that if we can embrace the idea of Billy Bob Thornton as (a drunk) Santa Claus, the idea of a black Santa shouldn’t result in anyone – what’s the phrase I’m looking for – giving a shit.

So in the giving spirit of the season, let’s give ourselves some time to reflect that a black Santa Claus is a good thing.  And remember that every time someone uses the term alt-right, what they really mean is “racist doucebag.”

 

Speaking of Alt-Right, How about This Asshole Who Called out a Trans Student on Stage?

Milo Yiannopoulos, whose name is a pain to spell and is so much of a creepy fuck that I’m not even going to try, was invited to speak at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.  He’s well known as an outspoken racist and anti-GLBTQ crusader.  As you might expect, a lot of students were upset he was coming.

Free speech is a tricky thing.  I mean, does the guy have a right to say what he says?

Unfortunately, yes.  Should he be given a paid platform to say these things?

I don’t think he should.  I think he should be swept out the door with the other insects we don’t want to kill but also don’t want in our homes.  But I understand that Universities have a responsibility to expose students to all perspectives.

Now I will argue that if they want to expose kids to thinking from the right, people like Condoleeza Rice might represent a better option than Milo Yo-yoasaurus. I don’t agree with her on a lot of things but she’s not a racist.

In any case, Milo Yog-Sothoth was given the platform to speak and he was a racist and homophobic fuck, which shouldn’t have surprised anyone.  However, he went so far as to show a picture of a trans student and use her dead name.

That, my friends, is bordering on a violent act.  The trans community already faces challenges that are unparalleled.  What Yorkshire Puddingpolos did to this student is unconscionable.

Fortunately, Yip-yip dogapus doesn’t have a conscience.  So he’ll keep saying this shit.  And people will keep paying him to say it.  In the name of “fairness.”

Crazy Ass Dude Almost Shoots up a Pizza Joint Because of a Conspiracy Theory

In an act that isn’t being labelled terrorism because the perpetrator was white and nobody ended up being killed, a dude walked into a pizzeria in Washington D.C. to “investigate” a bullshit conspiracy theory that the restaurant was a front for a child prostitution ring run by the Clintons.

That’s fucked up.  Even more fucked up, the son of incoming National Security Advisor Lt. General Michel Flynn tweeted his support for the conspiracy theory (but just barely avoided tweeting support for the gunman).  Essentially he said, “until you prove the theory is false, we will keep talking about it.”

Even former President George W Bush doesn't understand your logic.

Even former President George W Bush doesn’t understand your logic.

The problem with conspiracy theories is you can’t prove them false. The people who believe them will constantly find new reasons to support the idea it is a conspiracy and all your proof to the contrary is just more evidence of a cover up.

In the meantime, it is doing real and demonstrable harm to actual human beings and to an actual business.  If Donald Trump gave two shits about anyone but himself, he would use Twitter to debunk this kind of nonsense rather than using it to whine about how Saturday Night Live is making fun of him.

Business Pre-Emptively Sues State Over Being Forced to Video Same-Sex Marriages

Carl and Angel Larson, who are “good Christians,” are concerned their wedding video business might be sullied should they be forced by anti-discrimination laws to video a same sex couple getting married.

So concerned are they that their religious right to discriminate might be infringed, they are suing the state of Minnesota to ensure they don’t find themselves in that situation.  The lawsuit, in effect, says that anti-discrimination laws are unconstitutional.

Look, given that our President-elected by Russia is likely to appoint justices friendly to this kind of religious freedom bullshit, it is probably best for same-sex couples to stay away from businesses like this one because the resulting lawsuit might have extremely dubious consequences.  But what do you do when the businesses pre-emptively go to court?

And I’m left to wonder, is this what Jesus meant when he said “turn the other cheek?”  I mean, these people aren’t being asked to shoot pornography.  They are being asked shoot video featuring a couple of guys (or girls) who love each other getting married while surrounded by their friends and family.  Kinky.

Oh wait – they aren’t being asked to do that. Yet. They just don’t want anyone to ask them because if they say no, they are going to look like assholes.

Too late.

North Carolina GOP lost the Governor’s Office So They are Going to Hamstring the New Governor

Sore losers like the North Carolina Assembly are quite possibly worse than sore winners (Donald Trump).  In this case, the NC Assembly is so upset the people of their state elected a Democrat to the Governor’s mansion, they called an emergency special session to limit his powers.

Of course, they claim they were going to do that anyway. They just feel they need to do it faster because of who the people elected.

The legislation was passed to limit appointments made by the Governor and to also create road blocks between plaintiffs and the State Supreme Court are so blatantly partisan, the lawmakers passing them should be embarrassed.  Elections have consequences.  Parties lose.

Well...maybe parties lose in the United States.

Well…maybe parties lose in the United States.

The Democrats are already well aware of this fact.

When a party loses, the worst thing they can do is this kind of scorched earth legislation.  Their own constituents should be telling them to stop being assholes and accept that a Democratic governor should be able to do the same fucking stuff a Republican governor was able to do.

I try to convince myself that the Republican party wants what is best for people and they just disagree with me on ideology.  When they engage in this kind of sore loser bullshit, however, it is hard for me to think of their party as anything but a party unwilling to share power with anyone.

Shit that Pissed me Off – 11/11

President Elect Trump

Well yeah, I kind of had to lead with this, didn’t I?

For the last several weeks, I’d been hopeful that come election day, I wouldn’t have to write about Donald Trump any longer.  Maybe one more column about how much of a sore loser he was, as we all expected.  Instead, he is going to be our President for at least four years.

As a comedian, I should be happy.  Hillary isn’t nearly as easy a target as Donald Trump and the parade of people he is going to include in his cabinet.  They will say and do things worthy of ridicule on a nearly daily and certainly weekly basis.

I’m a  little bit worried, though, that while I’m making jokes about Trump and his cabinet, they will be working on ways to take rights away from same-sex couples in the name of “religious freedom.”  I’m a lot worried that they will be creating a country in which Hispanics and muslims are treated with mistrust and hostility simply because of their race and/or faith.  I’m a lot worried that my transgender friends will face a supreme court openly hostile to their identity.

But let me tell you what has me super worried – that people who are upset with this outcome will throw up their hands and say they can do nothing because the DNC screwed them out of the candidate they wanted.  They will blame others for the fact this happened.

If we blame someone else, we don't have to spend any time doing anything ourselves!

If we blame someone else, we don’t have to spend any time doing anything ourselves!

We are all to blame.  When almost 50% of eligible voters stay home rather than vote for anyone, we are to blame.  When we allow people to say “they are both terrible” when one of those two people is President because he spouted a racist and xenophobic agenda, we are to blame.  When we whine because our perfect candidate isn’t on the ballot instead of recognizing that 75% of what we want is far better than 10% (if that) of what we want, we are to blame.

When we angrily shake our fists at a system in which we refuse to take part because all we ever do is vote once every four years, we are to blame.

Donald Trump won because people who have never been excited about voting got off their asses and turned up.  I don’t care why they turned up. The fact is they turned up.

If you read my blog, you probably voted.  Odds are you didn’t vote for Trump.  Some of your might have voted Stein or Johnson but you didn’t vote Trump.  You are as upset as I am right now, I would imagine.

So once you stop being angry, you have to ask yourself, what am I going to do now?

Read More…

Shit that Pissed me Off – 10/26

Someone Destroyed Donald Trump’s Star on the Walk of Fame

I’m probably just including this story because given how many words I have devoted to my distaste for Donald Trump, I want it to be known that at least one dude dislikes him more than me.

But seriously, asshole, vandalism isn’t the answer.  It makes people who support Trump look more reasonable than those of us who know he’s a bigoted, misogynistic, narcissist, who would probably be the worst President in the history of our country.  Which is saying a lot since Buchanan set the bar pretty low, not even George W. Bush was able to limbo under it.

No joke - I Googled "George Bush Limbo" and I found this!

No joke – I Googled “George Bush Limbo” and I found this!

I’ve read people likening it to the destruction of statues of Lenin or Hussein but the thing is: Trump hasn’t been elected yet.  And hopefully he’s not going to be.  Does it make sense that we should destroy a statue of John McCain simply because we don’t like his stance on using the Senate to blockade the Supreme Court?

Or destroy a statue of George W. Bush because he was a terrible President?

I don’t think there is justification for this kind of behavior.  If you think it would be wrong for someone to destroy something that says Hillary Clinton (or Gary Johnson or Jill Stein), it is just as wrong to destroy something that says Donald Trump.

If you’ve got a problem with Trump, how about you work your ass off to make sure he doesn’t get elected? Read More…

Shit that Pissed me Off – 10/14

Donald Trump Apologists

Last Friday, tape emerged in which Donald Trump said derogatory things about women and the Republican party lost it’s collective shit.  Some of them think this is just the Democrats engaging in character assassination.  Others, like Scott Baio, defended him by saying it wasn’t that bad and telling ladies that guys talk like this “all the time.”

OK, Scott.  Two things.

One:  No they don’t.

Two:  It wouldn’t make it any better if they did.

Locker room talk – as Trump characterizes his comments – is a bullshit excuse.  Not only is it something you don’t find in a lot of locker rooms (as Chris Kluwe so eloquently points out), I just don’t think Trump has been in enough locker rooms to know.  It shouldn’t matter anyway because bragging about being able to sexually assault women shouldn’t happen anywhere.

But what truly upsets me is the shock some members of his party have expressed since the tape was released.  Donald Trump has always struck me as a sleaze.  It didn’t take a presidential campaign to convince me. Learning he said (and allegedly did) the sorts of things that a sleaze says (and does) only reinforced my opinion.  I wasn’t surprised.

But I was disheartened that so many seemed shocked to learn that Donald Trump was precisely the person he has always presented himself to be.

Hi, I'm Donald Trump, and I'm going to tap this.

Hi, I’m Donald Trump, and I’m going to tap this.

In retaliation, some supporters (and Trump himself) have pointed out that Bill Clinton is also a sleaze.  And that may be true.  It is also irrelevant.

Let’s think of it this way – Melania Trump was a nude model (and there is nothing wrong with that).  Would it be fair to judge her husband for choices she made?  I would assume most conservatives would say “no” and yet they have no issue judging Hillary Clinton for the actions of her husband.

Yes, Hillary has stood by her husband.  It could be because she loves him.  It could be for the sake of their daughter.  It could be for political reasons.  I don’t know.  I do know that women stick by their cheating husbands all the time.  Melania Trump does it and nobody seems to view that as an issue.

Finding out that Donald Trump treats women badly is as surprising as finding out that Superman can fly.  We’ve all seen Superman fly.  He does it all the time.  We’ve all seen Donald Trump treat women like objects.  He does it all the time.

Does Trump’s behavior make him unfit to serve as President?  You bet it does.  But his behavior isn’t new.  We aren’t suddenly discovering the body of Jimmy Hoffa in Trump tower.

He was never fit to serve as President.  He was always that guy.

Read More…

Shit that Pissed me off 10/7

Trump Gets in Trouble for Something He Didn’t Do

No, I’m not talking about paying his taxes.  Although he also didn’t do that.  Though apparently having enough money to hire a really talented team of tax accountants and lawyers makes him “smart” rather than “rich.”

In this case, though, he is getting some heat for having said that soldiers with PTSD aren’t strong.  Basically, he told soldiers who suffer from mental illness as a result of combat stress that they are complete wimps.

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Here’s the problem though – that’s not what he said.  And in context, what he said was clearly not meant to disrespect soldiers with PTSD.  You need to twist his meaning to a dizzying degree to come away thinking he was even accidentally implying that having PTSD made you weak.

Trump says any number of horrible and outrageous things.  It seems to me that those of us who justifiably think he is a buffoon and he should never hold elected office of any kind could stick to the string of stuff he actually said rather than manufacturing controversy where none exists.

Can’t we just hate Trump for who he is?  I mean, that ought to be enough. Read More…

Shit that Pissed me off – 9/23

Tulsa Police Officer Shoots an Unarmed Black Man with Car Trouble

I mean holy shit.  The guy has car trouble and he is clearly standing with his hands up talking to the cops.  He goes back to his car for some reason (arms still up) and they shoot him.

He’s dead.

Now, the good news is that this is being treated like a criminal investigation because the officers murdered someone.  The bad news is the inevitable backlash that will come as people say things like “well, he shouldn’t have been walking back towards the car” or “I wasn’t there so even though there is video, there is no way for me to really understand happened” or, of course “I’m going to withhold judgement until we have all the facts.”

We do have all the facts.  He was unarmed. He had car trouble.  He was black.

And now he’s dead.

Gene Wilder is also dead.  But that is where the similarities end.

Gene Wilder is also dead. But that is where the similarities end.

Oh yeah, and people have dredged up his criminal record that does not include any capital offenses as a means to justify the fact he was sentenced to death without benefit of a judge or jury.

How many more times does this need to happen until people stop trotting out the same bullshit arguments instead of acknowledging that there is a systemic problem?

This is not about that police officer friend or relative of yours who is a great person.  They probably are.  This is about a clear problem with the training of police officers when it comes to escalation and a problem with how our justice system is set up to excuse this kind of behavior when it occurs.

It isn’t that police officers are sometimes exonerated.  It is that they are almost never charged and even when they are charged, they are almost never convicted of doing anything wrong.

Read More…

Shit that Pissed me Off – 8/12

Donald Trump Makes a Joke (It Wasn’t Really a Joke) or Maybe he was Misunderstood (He Wasn’t) or Maybe Both (Huh?)

Some may ask why I keep writing about all the stupid shit Donald Trump does.  Simple – there is a remote possibility that I will convince one person to change their vote.  I don’t care if they vote for Clinton.  Maybe they will vote for Johnson.  Maybe they will just not vote for President.  I don’t care.  I just want Trump to get creamed.

Because if Trump does OK or, fuck me, actually wins, he’s the kind of candidate we will start to see all the time.  I can’t figure out why any of us would want that.

Here’s what he said this week:

“If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks,” Mr. Trump said, as the crowd began to boo. He quickly added: “Although the Second Amendment people — maybe there is, I don’t know.”

Now there are three possible explanations for what he meant.

  1.  He actually was suggesting that someone should assassinate Hillary Clinton to ensure she doesn’t get to appoint Supreme Court Justices.
  2. He was just saying they were a powerful voting bloc and everyone is over-reacting.
  3. He was making a joke

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If we examine the ramifications of each statement we come up with these possible conclusions:

  1. HOLY FUCK!
  2. So, in other words, he was too stupid to realize that what he said could easily be interpreted as a veiled threat against his opponent.  By association, his followers were too stupid to realize that his rhetoric is dangerous and could incite violence.
  3. So it can’t be both 2 & 3 even though various folks from the Trump camp have indeed claimed both 2 & 3.  If it is a joke, then it means he was well aware of what he was saying.  In which case: HOLY FUCK!  Making a joke about killing your opponent isn’t any better!

None of these scenarios look good for Trump.  They look worse for people who continue to make excuses for him.

Read More…