The Complete Works of William Shatner: Abridged
Last night we had our first “production meeting” for this year’s Fringe Festival show. As things have started to come together, I’m getting more excited about our show and about our cast.
The show is “The Complete Works of William Shatner: Abridged” and it is being co-written by me and the amazingly talented Bill Stiteler, co-writer of “Macbeth: The Video Game Remix”. We explore the complex relationship of William Shatner to some of his most iconic roles and it will feature a lot of Star Trek jokes, at least one actor riding on a car hood and an unforgettable rendition of “Rocket Man.”
A New Portrait
I was at Anime Detour this morning acting as a judge for Iron Artist. I was the surly French Art critic Pierre Lebat. I was joined by Kelvin Hatle as Death and Evan M, who was pressed into service as an Ewok. Lou Frank, one of the fine artists, finished his drawing early and prepared this portrait of the judges.
Thanks Lou!
Shit that pissed me off this week – 3/23
Pro-Life Advocates are Now Pushing a ban on Abortions if you can hear a Heartbeat
Are you fucking kidding me?
I am unapologetically Pro-choice. I don’t write about it much because it is such a useless debate. Both sides are so entrenched (myself included) that there is nothing to discuss.
But look – abortion is legal. Just barely.
Passing a law that says, in effect, “yeah, you can get an abortion right up to the point you actually know you are pregnant” is pretty shitty, isn’t it? It’s like saying “yes, you can have this ice cream cone unless you actually want the ice cream cone.”
I’ve got an idea for pro-life folks. How about a companion bill that says you can’t execute someone so long as they still have a heartbeat?
Jesus is power!
I spotted this article about a woman who noticed an image of Jesus in her power meter.
Now, I don’t want to say that I think she is crazy (although I do) but take a look at “Jesus.”
Doesn’t he look a lot more like Salvador Dali to you?
Or maybe Robert De Niro from The Mission?
Actually, the more I look at it, the more it looks like….
OH MY GOD!
I KNOW JESUS!
And he tells dick jokes. Who knew?
Hey – you *can* punk a liberal!
I totally got punked by this article yesterday. I was surfing through links that looked interesting and given my well documented distaste for Rick Santorum, I couldn’t resist reading about the latest stupid thing he said. For some masochistic reason, I like to get riled up by the stuff he says.
Usually, I can spot a satirical article. Not this time. I totally bought it because, I guess, I really think Santorum is that stupid.
I told my wife about the article as part of the whole “guess what idiotic thing Santorum said today” conversation we have most every evening. She did the natural thing and looked it up. This morning, my wife pointed out to her husband (the comedian) that the article was satire and perhaps I shouldn’t rant about it online because if I did, I’d look like an idiot.
Here is something everyone who knows me needs to understand: for every stupid ass thing I’ve said in public, there are at least five things I never said because my wife stopped me. Why have we been married 22 years? Lots of reasons but primary among them is the simple fact that she frequently compels me to think before I act.
In my feeble defense, let me point out that this article fooled a lot of people. Just read the comment section.
Also in my defense, I would totally buy that Santorum believes the Sun revolves around the Earth. I’m pretty certain some of the people voting for him believe that. He does believe some pretty crazy shit.
No matter my excuse, I completely believed an article that was a clear joke.
I’m often amused by the way a lot of social conservatives assume Onion articles to be true. Look at those idiots, I think, they actually believe this obviously satirical piece! What morons!
I can no longer feel superior to them, though, except in one important way. My spouse is clearly smarter than theirs.
It turns out there are, in fact, people who live under a rock
I was reading this article about the release of the poorly named “New iPad” (oh how we miss you Steve Jobs) when I came across the following quote from someone waiting in line in Manhattan:
I bought [an iPad 2] for my husband two weeks ago, and then Apple surprised me by announcing the new one
What?????
How the hell was she surprised that they were about to announce a new iPad? If she bought it two weeks ago, the announcement was less than a week away.
I realize that not everyone has their finger on the pulse of tech trends but if the President had chosen to announce military operations in Syria on the same day they announced the New iPad, it would have come as a shock to most Americans when they finally noticed. Two months later.
Honestly, if I was the source of that quote, I would have given a fake name.
Something that sounds really stupid. Like….”The New iPad.”
Limerick for Santorum
My mom is going to a Limerick party this weekend and she asked me if I had any ideas. Since anything I write can’t be an official entry (I’m not going to the party), here’s mine:
There once was a guy named Santorum
Whose views reached the National Forum
He hated the pill
And though gays were ill
We tried but we couldn’t ignore ‘im
Shit That Pissed me off This Week – 3/9
Brittany Spears’ Criminal
Three times in a row my weekly tirade has started with a song that made me angry. I’m sorry about that. They keep playing this crap at work and I can’t escape.
The thing that annoys me about this song is the musical hook. It is horrible and they won’t stop playing it. It feels like the entire song is that one banal progression of notes.
Those notes are, oddly, the exact opposite of an earworm to me. Instead of being a tune I can’t get out of my head, it is a tune I instantly forget until it gets played again and I remember how much I hate it.
It’s like having short term memory loss. I forget about the song until it gets played again so every time I heard it, I get to say “what the hell is this horrible song? Oh, it’s that one.” That might not be so bad except for the fact the annoyance doesn’t subside with repeated exposure to the song. Completely unfair.
Princess Leia – Badass
In a discussion this weekend, the topic was raised as to who was the bigger badass – Luke Skywalker or Han Solo.
I must be clear – this discussion was only in reference to Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. All arguments that take other films into account will be considered null and void.
Dating Advice for Geeks
I was already writing the following post when I read this (which is from March 2011). In the wake of such a well written treatise, what I was writing almost seemed redundant.
Almost.
Given the article above, it seems to be the perfect time to give some advice to you geek boys out there who are interested in dating geek girls and haven’t quite figured out how to do it.
Look, I know that I’m not the best guy in the world to give this advice. I’ve been married for 21 years now and when I was dating, I wasn’t very good at it.
Take my word for it, though, after reading many of the male responses to elevatorgate in which they asked “Hey, if propositioning a woman I hardly know in an elevator makes them uncomfortable, what do you propose I do if I’d like to get laid” I feel that I am at least as qualified as any other guy who was smart enough to know the answer to that question without asking his wife/girlfriend.
A lot of very smart women have answered the question but I know how guys are. I know you guys out there really need the advice of another guy who understands what women want because, apparently, you don’t trust women to know the answer. So here goes, guys. Get ready for some super insightful stuff!
Grail Diary 