It is a new year and late last year, I had trouble putting this column out every week. I’m going to do better this year but I have to tell you, this shit is hard.
It isn’t hard to write but when the White House is such an amazing shit show, things get a little tiring. I could write 1000 words about the asshole in the oval office every single week but I just hate even thinking about the guy.
So for the folks who look forward to my weekly rants, I’m sorry they’ve been so inconsistent. Let’s just start with the dick in the White House, shall we?
Does it bother anyone else that the most mature person in an exchange is Kim Jong Un? I don’t want to speak out for the guy who is the head of a recklessly oppressive regime that seems more interested in developing a nuclear bomb than they do in feeding their own people.
But when he rattled his saber, at least he didn’t do so by referencing his dick size.
Trump pointed out that Un is an oppressive leader by observing he has a “depleted and food starved regime” which, for once, was accurate. Then he proceeded to point out that he had a much larger
dick nuclear button than Un.
I mean, maybe Trump and Un regularly exchange
dick nuclear button pics so he has some knowledge of their comparative size.
Thing is, we need to remember that our President is a sexual predator. He is always thinking about his penis. It is the central obsession of his life.
When he makes a tax proposal, he is thinking about how it will affect his penis. When he appoints a justice to the supreme court, he is thinking about his penis. Making a
dick nuclear button joke on Twitter is one of the most honest things he’s ever done because he is pointing out that when he thinks about nuclear war, he’s thinking about his penis.
He sends unsolicited dick pics to himself. And he likes it.
Three more years (oh please) of this asshole.
I’m going to briefly address the absurdity of a politician freaking out over a bullshit article suggesting that people are using food stamps to buy pot in Colorado. So convinced was she that this was actually happening that she wrote a law designed to ensure that it wouldn’t happen.
But what the hell is with Fox News and other conservatives falling all over each other to freak out about legalized pot? Does this actually spell the decline and death of Western Civilization? I ask this as someone who has never smoked pot, doesn’t expect he ever will and doesn’t give a crap if someone else wants to.
I thought Republicans are supposed to be the party of small government and yet they are the ones completely horrified at the idea of saving money in the war on drugs by cutting back on the number of fronts where we are fighting.
I’d think their problem would be more focused on the regulation of the pot industry. Maybe the pot dealers don’t have enough freedom and the assumption is they’d be more free with a deregulated but illegal industry? Or legalized pot is good as long as pot growers can do whatever the fuck they want?
It’s like they are smoking conservativism but they aren’t inhaling.