It is a new year and late last year, I had trouble putting this column out every week. I’m going to do better this year but I have to tell you, this shit is hard.
It isn’t hard to write but when the White House is such an amazing shit show, things get a little tiring. I could write 1000 words about the asshole in the oval office every single week but I just hate even thinking about the guy.
So for the folks who look forward to my weekly rants, I’m sorry they’ve been so inconsistent. Let’s just start with the dick in the White House, shall we?
Does it bother anyone else that the most mature person in an exchange is Kim Jong Un? I don’t want to speak out for the guy who is the head of a recklessly oppressive regime that seems more interested in developing a nuclear bomb than they do in feeding their own people.
But when he rattled his saber, at least he didn’t do so by referencing his dick size.
Trump pointed out that Un is an oppressive leader by observing he has a “depleted and food starved regime” which, for once, was accurate. Then he proceeded to point out that he had a much larger
dick nuclear button than Un.
I mean, maybe Trump and Un regularly exchange
dick nuclear button pics so he has some knowledge of their comparative size.
Thing is, we need to remember that our President is a sexual predator. He is always thinking about his penis. It is the central obsession of his life.
When he makes a tax proposal, he is thinking about how it will affect his penis. When he appoints a justice to the supreme court, he is thinking about his penis. Making a
dick nuclear button joke on Twitter is one of the most honest things he’s ever done because he is pointing out that when he thinks about nuclear war, he’s thinking about his penis.
He sends unsolicited dick pics to himself. And he likes it.
Three more years (oh please) of this asshole.
I mean, I guess we should applaud Moore, who has a history of not listening when those who wield more power than him (be it the Supreme Court or the people of Alabama) tell him no. He may be stubbornly refusing to concede an election he lost but at least he’s consistent. You have to admire a guy who will always stubbornly marshall on even when he has so clearly lost.
Except you really don’t. The thing to do when you lose an election is to admit you lost the election and move on. Hell, even Hillary Clinton was able to deliver a concession speech and she was beaten by Donald Trump.
Let me tell you something, Roy Moore, the only thing worse than conceding victory to Donald Trump would be conceding victory to…you. Given that, I think you should be able to concede an election to Doug Jones.
You don’t have to wait long. You can run again in 2020. And even though you are a racist, misogynist, child molester, you only lost by 1.5 percentage points. If you can figure out a way to get just a few more white people to the polls, you can deliver one hell of a victory speech.
For now, however, why don’t you try to exhibit some class and concede?
I almost didn’t write a post this week. I mean, I knew this was the big story and I was going to have to talk about it because it pissed me the hell right off.
As many liberals have pointed out, you can’t say that Roy Moore is a pedophile (he is) and Donald Trump is a sexual predator (he is) without also acknowledging that Franken’s behavior (which he has admitted) is also unacceptable.
You can’t be that hypocrite on the left.
If you are on the right, you can totally be that hypocrite (as our hypocrite in chief quickly displayed). On the left, we accept that if we are going to go after right wing predators (like our President), we can’t just ignore when our heroes do the same shit.
So fuck Al Franken for doing what he did. Fuck him for being the same as so many other guys out there.
And I’m not saying this because I think he’s a bad guy. I’m not saying this because I don’t think he respects women. I’m saying this because I think he is a good person and he does respect women.
But like so many other men, he didn’t understand what that really meant.
File this under “laws that will never pass but what absolute insensitive fuckwit would even propose such a thing?”
South Dakota representative Roger Hunt is really concerned about transgender children being allowed to participate in sports based on their gender identity and he wants to make sure that kids are carefully forced into his personal definition of their gender.
The only way to do this, he reasons through legislation, is to force kids to produce a birth certificate and also to submit to a genital inspection. Score one for trans shaming but also score one for embarrassing every child who wants to participate in sports!
What’s that Billy? You want to play Football? Not until we make sure you have a penis!
Don’t worry, Billy! It’s not discrimination. Your sister Sally wants to play volleyball but she can’t do that until we see her vagina!
BTW – Hunt isn’t alone. There’s also this fuckwit in Virginia.