Tag Archive | Weather

Shit that Pissed me off – 4/4

Idiot Climbs a Rock, Injures Himself and Sues the City for Creating Unsafe Conditions

This moron is probably going to win, too.

He saw a rock sculpture and thought it looked like a lot of fun to climb around on it.  I don’t blame him.  I would have thought the same thing.  I would need a taser and some bungee cords to stop my kids from climbing on something like that.


Here’s a picture of one of my kids on a rock at Yosemite National Park. There are a lot of rocks at Yosemite National Park and he’s climbed on damn near every one of them.

There were no signs telling him he couldn’t so he jumped on the thing, landed awkwardly and tore his Achilles tendon.  Ouch!

Now he’s suing the city.  Because he did a reckless thing and hurt himself.  Also because he probably has crappy health insurance.

Look dude, if you are going to jump on a rock because it looks like fun, you need to recognize the risks.  If you don’t want to get hurt, don’t jump on the fucking rock.

The only unsafe condition the city created was they one they created when they allowed you to leave your house every morning.

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Having lived in Minnesota for almost my entire life, I’ve grown used to weather that has a singular goal.

By that I mean we are regularly subjected to weather whose only purpose is the eradication of every living thing that comes into contact with it.

The rest of the country looks at Minnesota and all they think about is the deadly cold and the gigantic piles of snow and they assume that our state must be a frozen wasteland for the entire year.  Like Alaska without mountains or Sarah Palin.

Those of us who live here know the reality is far worse.  The snow thaws and when it does, newcomers believe that they are safe from the deadly weather and they boldly emerge from their homes to hoard canned goods for the next three to five months.

Then the first thunderstorm hits and they realize that spring is every bit as deadly as winter.  You just don’t have to shovel your walk after the storm is over.  The rain that accumulates at a rate of 1 inch per hour and the hail that seems laser guided to destroy windshields is pretty bad but these storms also bring straight line winds.

People who don’t live on the great plains have heard of tornadoes and, I expect, believe they represent the worst wind can do to you.  Especially if there are sharks.

Those people have never heard of straight line winds.  Straight line winds are winds that originate in the Rocky Mountains and sweep across the great plains gathering momentum because there is nothing to stop them. The buffalo herds, which used to act as a wind buffer, are gone.

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