The Lease
Weekly short story post! This one is very short and began with thinking about ghosts and hauntings. I don’t believe ghosts are real but I really wish they were. If I was able to haunt people, I imagine I would do so in a way that is consistent with my current sense of humor.
That, in a nutshell, is where this story came from.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/19
Oh Fuck! I Agree with Donald Trump!
The Republicans had another debate and, as usual, I didn’t watch it. I have no need to watch a bunch of dudes try to convince everyone they are simultaneously more conservative than each other but not so conservative that they can’t work with liberals on issues that “unite” us.
But Trump went off the rails this time because he had the balls to criticize George Bush and the Iraq war. In fact, he called the war a “big, fat mistake.”
I’m shocked! Shocked to learn there is gambling going on in this establishment!
Which it was.
Trump’s comments were so outlandish, he managed to piss off Dick Cheney.
Donald Trump pissed off Dick Cheney!
I think I may need to start drinking. I can’t handle this.
Time is On My Side
Time for my weekly short story post! I presented this at the Not-So-Silent Planet open mic last night. The requirement was for a story that is 5-7 minutes long and this is actually a bit on the long side. I actually think it needs to be longer.
The basic inspiration for the story was “what if time travel was super easy and there were no consequences?”
There are consequences, though. There are always consequences.
I’ve written some serious stories the last few weeks. This one is a lot more comedic. As always, if you read, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/12
Dallas Judge Says He Will Not Perform Same-Sex Marriages Due to Religious Objection
I literally have no problem with a religious leader refusing to perform same-sex marriages. I mean, I do because it is time to realize that love is love and the God you believe in is a homophobic jackass. But they have a right to make those calls based on their interpretation of the Bible or Koran or whatever.
A judge is elected to perform a legal job and part of that job is marrying people. As prescribed by law. Which he is supposed to fucking uphold. Impartially.
If you want to be a judge who isn’t impartial, you need to climb the food chain. Like this dude.
He claims the state Attorney General gave him permission to make this call based on an opinion that suggests he doesn’t have to perform the ceremony if there is someone else who can do it. However, he is still practicing discrimination because he’s totally cool with performing “traditional” marriages.
I call bullshit. Just do your fucking job. If you don’t want to perform the “wrong” kind of marriage, don’t do them at all.
The Wish List
Another in my short story writing series. I presented this one at Fearless Lab last night.
I had a different idea for the ending when I originally wrote the piece but I changed it for last night. I liked the original direction better so I changed the ending back to my original one. The theme for the show was leap year and that explains where the basic idea came from.
Anyway – if you like or don’t like, feedback is great. If you read the whole thing – thanks for reading!
Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/5
Ted Cruz Delivers Backhanded Apology to CNN After He Misrepresented Something They Reported
I confess I’ve been spending a lot of time covering the Trump campaign here. I do so because he’s a complete tool.
But I’ve really been unfair to the other complete tools who comprise the bulk of the Republican Presidential field. Like Ted Cruz.
Fortunately for Cruz, he won the Iowa caucus on Monday and that means he can now step into the limelight!
And step into it he did when he blamed CNN for reporting that Ben Carson was dropping out of the race. In fact, Carson was just going home to Florida for a few days. Which is exactly what CNN reported.
When the Cruz camp got called out for misstating the information, they blamed it on CNN. CNN responded by effectively saying “fuck you – we never said or even implied he was dropping out of the race. Here’s the record of what we said you idiot.”
Dracula just dropped the mic. DRACULA JUST DROPPED THE MIC!!!
Cruz responded by magnanimously saying that CNN had, “surprisingly” gotten it right. Backhanded compliment for win!
Actually, he said “miracles happen.” Ha ha.
What’s really funny is that Cruz’s apology still got it wrong. He claimed CNN said Carson was not carrying on to New Hampshire and South Carolina.
Except they never claimed that. They said was going home to Florida first.
You know what, I-hope-to-never-call-you President Cruz? If you are going to make fun of a news organization for misreporting the news, it doesn’t help if you misreport what they said.
The Problem with Daisy
I finally watched The Hateful Eight this week and as much as I love Westerns and as much as I love Quentin Tarantino, I have a problem with the movie. As I began to consider things, it became clear I have a problem with the last three Tarantino films and they are all basically the same problem.
This problem involves spoilers. So read with caution.
The Sacrifice
I’ve just been exploring some different ideas and forms the last few weeks. I’m still percolating over my next script so I’m playing with short stories.
Because I’m a playwright, I find it very easy to write dialogue. Everything else is pretty tricky.
For the second week in a row, I’ve ended up writing something that isn’t comedy. Sometimes you have to just let the story happen and see where you end up.
The genesis of this story was the idea of a human sacrifice from the point of view of the sacrifice. I used the Mayan culture as a little bit of a springboard but this isn’t supposed to be a real place or a real-time.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/29
School Principal Forces a Girl onto her Knees Because of School Dress Policy
It feels like just last week I was writing about young women being subjected to draconian dress policies. Oh wait – it was just last week. It’s like this sort of thing happens to young women all the time!
Gosh, I wonder what that does to their body image and self-esteem?
Who cares, right? What’s important is that those young ladies remember that modesty is their best option in life. It’s for their own good. Young boys can’t be trusted. If your skirt doesn’t touch the ground when you are kneeling, it is too short!
Yeah, curvy Barbie! You’d better GO HOME AND CHANGE!
I really do understand the need for certain dress codes in schools. At issue here, though, is not the idea of a dress code but rather the idea that young women are shamed for showing off (what is deemed to be) too much of their bodies while young men do not face the same stigma.
In this case, the principal defended the action by pointing out boys had been sent home for wearing ripped jeans.
Did he make them kneel so he could measure the size of the holes?
Tomorrow
I’ve been giving myself a hard goal of writing for two hours every day. Some days I have something that really needs to be written. Other days, I’m just trying to write something.
This is a short story I’ve been massaging for the last couple of days. I’m a playwright. That’s my thing. But I wanted to make myself write something and this was what started coming out.
Grail Diary 