Shit that Pissed me Off – 2/5
Ted Cruz Delivers Backhanded Apology to CNN After He Misrepresented Something They Reported
I confess I’ve been spending a lot of time covering the Trump campaign here. I do so because he’s a complete tool.
But I’ve really been unfair to the other complete tools who comprise the bulk of the Republican Presidential field. Like Ted Cruz.
Fortunately for Cruz, he won the Iowa caucus on Monday and that means he can now step into the limelight!
And step into it he did when he blamed CNN for reporting that Ben Carson was dropping out of the race. In fact, Carson was just going home to Florida for a few days. Which is exactly what CNN reported.
When the Cruz camp got called out for misstating the information, they blamed it on CNN. CNN responded by effectively saying “fuck you – we never said or even implied he was dropping out of the race. Here’s the record of what we said you idiot.”
Dracula just dropped the mic. DRACULA JUST DROPPED THE MIC!!!
Cruz responded by magnanimously saying that CNN had, “surprisingly” gotten it right. Backhanded compliment for win!
Actually, he said “miracles happen.” Ha ha.
What’s really funny is that Cruz’s apology still got it wrong. He claimed CNN said Carson was not carrying on to New Hampshire and South Carolina.
Except they never claimed that. They said was going home to Florida first.
You know what, I-hope-to-never-call-you President Cruz? If you are going to make fun of a news organization for misreporting the news, it doesn’t help if you misreport what they said.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/29
School Principal Forces a Girl onto her Knees Because of School Dress Policy
It feels like just last week I was writing about young women being subjected to draconian dress policies. Oh wait – it was just last week. It’s like this sort of thing happens to young women all the time!
Gosh, I wonder what that does to their body image and self-esteem?
Who cares, right? What’s important is that those young ladies remember that modesty is their best option in life. It’s for their own good. Young boys can’t be trusted. If your skirt doesn’t touch the ground when you are kneeling, it is too short!
Yeah, curvy Barbie! You’d better GO HOME AND CHANGE!
I really do understand the need for certain dress codes in schools. At issue here, though, is not the idea of a dress code but rather the idea that young women are shamed for showing off (what is deemed to be) too much of their bodies while young men do not face the same stigma.
In this case, the principal defended the action by pointing out boys had been sent home for wearing ripped jeans.
Did he make them kneel so he could measure the size of the holes?
Shit that Pissed me off – 1/22
Insider Reports Indicate Disney Marketers Didn’t Think Rey Would be Very Popular
Even though Rey was the lead in The Force Awakens, inside reports suggest that the prevailing opinion was that kids (specifically boys) wouldn’t be interested. Also, apparently girls don’t play with action figures or some stupid shit like that.
They decided that what they really needed was a whole lot of Kylo Ren stuff.
Now don’t get me wrong – Kylo Ren is a great character. I love his conflicted nature and his violent mood swings. He is one of the most dangerous villains I think the Star Wars universe has ever created.
Yes, including Darth Vader.
But the heart of the film is Rey. If you don’t have confidence that kids are going to identify with her and want toys that represent her, why the fuck are you making merchandise for the film?
Come with me! I hear there’s a sale on Kylo Ren merchandise!
I mean, if your expectation of the hero is that low, your expectation of the rest of the film has to be lower, doesn’t it?
What’s embarrassing is this conversation has been going on for years. The public has been saying “we want toys featuring the women in these movies” and every time a new film comes out, the response seems to be “well, we didn’t know!”
When in realty, they just didn’t care.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/15
South Dakota Lawmaker Wants Children to Submit to Genital Inspection Because Transphobia
File this under “laws that will never pass but what absolute insensitive fuckwit would even propose such a thing?”
South Dakota representative Roger Hunt is really concerned about transgender children being allowed to participate in sports based on their gender identity and he wants to make sure that kids are carefully forced into his personal definition of their gender.
Roger Hunt won’t have to show his genitals because he’s already shown that he’s a dick.
The only way to do this, he reasons through legislation, is to force kids to produce a birth certificate and also to submit to a genital inspection. Score one for trans shaming but also score one for embarrassing every child who wants to participate in sports!
What’s that Billy? You want to play Football? Not until we make sure you have a penis!
Don’t worry, Billy! It’s not discrimination. Your sister Sally wants to play volleyball but she can’t do that until we see her vagina!
See? Fair!
BTW – Hunt isn’t alone. There’s also this fuckwit in Virginia.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/8
With Christmas and January 1st falling on Fridays, I’ve been a bit backlogged on this column. That means this week might feature more anger than usual. If you are a regular reader, I’m sorry for the time off.
A Couple of Prosperity Preachers Spend Some Time Justifying Their Private Jets
The sheer amount of privilege these guys exhibit when they talk about how difficult it is for them to fly coach is remarkable. What is frightening, though, is some of the points they make are completely fair. I hate that.
Imagine you are a super popular preacher who has to travel all over the country. Imagine you are flying somewhere new almost every day. If you had to fly commercial air the whole time, it would be a lot less convenient.
What if god loses your luggage?
I mean, you’d get all the first class upgrades and I’m pretty sure whoever is bringing you in to speak would be paying for your ticket but it would still be less convenient. If you schedule yourself that tightly, it would likely be very difficult to get everywhere you needed to go with commercial airlines. You might have to cut back on your appearances or something. Which would be a damn shame.
Thing is, they are getting luxury jets paid for by convincing poor people to give them money. Lots and lots of money. And they have conversations with god on their planes (not kidding – watch the video) in which god apparently tells them that they should want a better plane.
Which means it is time to fleece the poor people again!
The Myth of the Good Guy with a Gun
The debate over guns in our country is filled with disinformation on both sides. Yeah – you heard me – both sides. Being someone who isn’t all that nuts about guns, I totally get that I don’t know everything and some of the stuff I think I know is probably wrong. I would like to believe people on the other side of the debate understand the same thing.
What I know is that I don’t like guns. I don’t like it when I’m around people with guns. Even police officers make me nervous.
I also know that not liking guns is different from saying “let’s get rid of all the guns.”
But look, I think the NRA is about the worst thing that can happen to the gun debate. Because they are intractable. Because they are a regular source of bad information. And because they make shit up.
In specific, I want talk about the phrase “the only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”
I mean, that sounds like a really reasonable thing to say, right? If all of the good guys out there are armed, the bad guys don’t stand a chance!
Here’s the problem, though. Everyone thinks they are the good guy.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 12/11
The Media Manages to Prove that Every Bad Thing Anyone Says About Them is True
In the wake of a shooting spree in San Bernardino, fourteen victims and two suspects lay dead. News agencies were left with one important task: to find a way to convince people to watch their coverage over the coverage on a different network.
When the authorities apparently cleared the apartment where the two shooters lived, reporters stormed the apartment and began sifting through toys in the baby’s room, toiletries in the bathroom, and any other detail they could get their hand on. And then they reported on it under the mistaken impression that people gave a fuck.
“Authorities are unsure why the family chose Crest as their toothpaste but one thing is certain: this reporter is glad he uses Colgate.”
I guess they did it because nobody was going to let them sift through the toiletries of the victims.
Amazingly, this absolutely crazed frenzy managed to achieve what would have seemed to be impossible: It nearly made the reporters look worse than people who had committed mass murder.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 12/4
In the video (which is complete bullshit and anyone who watches it and sympathizes with the filmmakers can just fuck the hell right off), a couple of guys trick a girl to prove that when she claims she has a boyfriend, she doesn’t actually have a boyfriend. What a bitch, amirite?
No. She’s just not interested. But she’s probably learned that if she says “I’m not interested,” the answer could likely be “why not?”
Seriously, college aged girl, what is it about me you find unattractive?
At that point, she has to lie and come up with some nice way to tell the guy he seems kind of sleazy and makes her feel unsafe or she can tell him the truth. She’ll probably lie because when most of us are confronted with the choice of telling someone they are a sleaze or telling them something slightly nicer, we’ll go the nicer route.
Also, she’s probably learned that if she tells him that he is sleazy and makes her feel unsafe, he could ask her why she thinks that and then call her a “cunt” or a “bitch” or “frigid” and say she deserves to get raped.
Here’s the sad part, though, for the girl in this video, no answer is OK. If she says he’s kind of sleazy (because he is) and she isn’t interested, she’s a bitch. If she lies to be nice or just to avoid a more unpleasant conversation that she doesn’t want to have because fuck him she’s trying to study and he should have just left her the fuck alone, she’s still a bitch because she lied!
Shit that Pissed Me Off – 11/6
What the Fuck is Wrong with you, Houston?
Houston voters repealing an LGBT rights ordinance was only one of several shit results from Tuesday’s election.
What’s that? You didn’t know there was an election on Tuesday?
That’s because it was an off year and even though city councils and school boards have a lot more impact on our day to day life, most of us can’t be bothered to get off of our asses and take the ten minutes required to go to our polling place and cast a vote. Call it twenty minutes if you actually want to do some research before you get there.
I don’t know anything about the candidates! If only there was something that could allow me to locate that information quickly and efficiently!
In Houston, they had passed an ordinance protecting the rights of the LGBT community and a bunch of paranoid, prude, fuckwits turned the debate into a question about whether or not you wanted your daughter to be in the same bathroom with a trans woman.
By putting it on the ballot in an off year, they ensured they could get a whole bunch of other paranoid, prude, fuckwits to the polls to make sure trans women used the men’s room because that’s where they belong! Also trans men have to keep using the ladies room but something tells me nobody is nearly as concerned about that.
Here’s a lesson to every apathetic voter everywhere – the people who show up can get things done. And in Houston, the people who showed up told the trans community to go fuck itself while a whole bunch of other people stayed home and figured they weren’t trans so who gives a shit.
In Afghanistan, They Stoned a Woman to Death for Adultery
They dug a hole in the ground and men threw rocks at her head until she died.
Because she had been forced into a loveless marriage and tried to escape with another man. No word on what happened to the man. I’m betting he’s still alive because fuck women.
For every guy who complains about feminism, there is a story like this one that points out women worldwide have to deal with shit guys simply don’t. Not only that, but if a woman breaks the rules society places upon them, a bunch of guys literally get to throw rocks at her head.
This isn’t a metaphor.
A bunch of men decided she deserved to die for being in love with a man she hadn’t been forced to marry and then another bunch of men willingly killed her.
So, dear men trying to convince me that your life is tough too and why doesn’t anyone respect you for all your sacrifices, you need to shut the fuck up.
Here’s a Meme that Pissed me Off!
I love this one because it is filled with half truths and also makes a whole bunch of bullshit assumptions. Shall we begin?
All right Mrs. Smug self righteous defender of the underpaid military, let’s start with the obvious.
Even if the military is underpaid, and while they get health care, lodging, food, and other benefits a McDonald’s hourly employee does not, I still agree that they are not paid well, that doesn’t mean a McDonald’s employee is not also underpaid.
Wages aren’t a continuum where you decide how important a job is to you personally (because it’s all about you) and then decide how much that person should be paid relative to the amount someone else with a different job should be paid.
And seriously person who probably doesn’t flip burgers for a living, the value you place on flipping burgers really shows how much of an elitist jackass you are. I’m willing to bet you don’t want to flip burgers. I know I don’t want that job. It sucks. So before you decry people for being unskilled labor, you need to think about the fact that you wouldn’t flip burgers for any amount of money. They could pay you $100,000 a year and you still wouldn’t want to stand over a hot griddle for 40 hours a week listening to entitled fucks (like you) telling you that you are overpaid and I said NO ketchup (or catsup) you illiterate idiot! OF COURSE I want fries with that!
You know the other thing about the military? When most people enter the military, they are also unskilled labor! The military spends a lot of time and money training them to be skilled labor.
So how about we all stop judging people for wanting to be paid more. Because everyone wants to be paid more. I’ll bet judgy mcjudgerton Facebook lady also wants to be paid more for what she does. And she’d probably think some lawyer was a jackass if he posted some bullshit Facebook update about how she doesn’t deserve a raise.
In all honesty though, I’m not really annoyed at elitist Facebook lady. I’m annoyed at all the people who shared her post because they don’t get it either.
A Small Town in Missouri is Totally Punishing a Young Woman Because she was Raped by a Guy they Like
Everyone says Darren Paden is a great guy.
He’s a great guy who raped a girl at least 200 times starting when she was five years old. Sounds like a pillar of the community.
So while folks in Dearborn, MO are totally bummed that this guy is about to go to jail forever (after a guilty plea), they are pretty annoyed at the girl who accused him. She recently was turned down for an apartment because she was repeatedly raped by this great guy.
We can’t have rape victims here! You’d just attract sexual predators!
They say his confession was coerced. The poor guy was forced to admit to serial rape by this horrible seventeen year old girl who will never lead a truly normal life. Clearly she had it out for him.
Look, I knew a guy who did this sort of thing once. Everyone said he was a great guy.
He wasn’t. He raped a kid. And he went to jail. Just like this asshole.
Did You Hear the One about the Rock Star Who Can’t Record an Album
I’m not a big fan of Ke$ha. I’m not into her music. But you know what? She ought to be able to record an album if she wants. And apparently, she would really like to record an album.
Why can’t she?
Because her contract states that she can’t record an album without Dr. Luke (holy fuck music people and their “cool” names) and he apparently has been sexually harassing her for years. So she’d really rather record her album with – you know – someone who isn’t a toad.
What???? I said “toad,” not “frog!”
It seems fair but a contract is a contract and that means endless litigation just so she doesn’t have to be around a sleaze. Which also means she hasn’t put out a new album in three years in an industry where you need to keep producing work or face irrelevancy and endless casino concerts.
Now I don’t know anything about her contract or about whether or not she was actually sexually harassed (she almost certainly was) but seriously, it sucks that her career is stuck in the courts. Someone should get this shit settled because artists should be allowed to make art.
Shit that Pissed me off – 10/9
No Hymen, No Diamond
No link on this one. Do a Facebook search if you want to find it.
This Facebook group is dedicated to the idea that men deserve virgins to marry. If a girl doesn’t have a hymen, they aren’t going to put a ring on it.
They also post a lot of really super funny misogynist jokes like “How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb…. 0, everyone knows feminists can’t change anything!”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Checkmate, feminists! You haven’t changed anything at all! Ever!
Well, sure. You got the right to vote and paid family medical leave and legalized abortion but what have you done lately?
I shouldn’t give a shit about a bunch of insecure men’s rights assholes and for the most part, I don’t. They are an embarrassment to other human beings but I believe their point of view is the minority and they just look like petulant douchebags who resent all the women that won’t date them because they are disrespectful cocks.
But I’m raising two boys. And I’m trying to teach them that women should be loved and respected and afforded all the rights men take for granted.
And the existence of garbage like this makes my job a little bit tougher.
Grail Diary 