Shit that Pissed me off – 7/19

George Zimmerman Acquitted

Thing is, I didn’t think that there was a chance in hell that Zimmerman was going to be found guilty and honestly, I don’t think he should have spent the rest of his life in prison.  I think he should have gone to prison but not for the rest of his life.  Splitting hairs, maybe, but there you go.

While it seems probable that Trayvon Martin did attack Zimmerman, it also seems clear that Zimmerman would not have been in a position to be attacked if he’d followed directions and stayed in his car.  He didn’t and a teenaged boy is dead.

In the end, nobody learned anything.  Zimmerman feels like his actions have been vindicated.  In fact, he feels like killing Martin was part of God’s plan. A belief that won’t be shaken given the verdict. Trayvon Martin can learn nothing ever again because he’s still dead.

Or – since it was all part of god’s plan – maybe he’s burning in hell and learning a lot. Too bad it won’t do him any good. Ha ha!

Is Zimmerman guilty of murder?  Apparently not.  I still believe that what he did was wrong.  And it exposed something ugly about our country that a lot of us would rather ignore. Like the fact Zimmerman can go free while a black woman can spend 20 years in jail for firing two warning shots so her abusive husband would stay away from her.

Sadly enough, after the uproar about this verdict dies down, we’ll just go back to ignoring it.

Opportunistic Jackass Steals an Idea Someone else was Using to Raise Money for Charity

Right after the Oklahoma tornado, Wolf Blitzer asked a young mother if she thanked god that she was still alive.  She responded by saying “I’m actually an atheist.”  Good for her.  She didn’t pretend she was something other than she was and she also didn’t dress him down for his assumption.  She just corrected him.

Someone turned that statement into a shirt and they’ve been selling the shirt to raise money for her.

Someone else liked that idea so much, they decided to come up with the same shirt and sell it to raise money for themselves.  The font is slightly different.  And you can also buy shirts with other sayings like “I’m actually a Podiatrist” or “I’m actually a plagiarizing jackass.”

It isn’t just that this jerk decided that they had the right to steal someone else’s idea that pisses me off.  It is that this jerk decided that they would steal an idea that was helping someone rebuild their home.

I have nothing against wanting to earn money.  Stealing ideas from a charitable enterprise, however, is pretty serious scumbag territory.

Jenny McCarthy Becomes Regular co-host of “The View”

I could really care less because I don’t watch “The View.”

But I’m not happy any time McCarthy, who is apparently the spokesmodel for the anti vaccination movement, gets to sit in front of a microphone.  Even if she never spouts her anti vaxx nonsense on that show, she has spouted it elsewhere and her presence as a host  lends credibility to a completely bullshit cause.

If McCarthy wasn’t on “The View,” she would still be spouting that nonsense.  You can’t make her stop.

But she just got handed a bigger megaphone.

Ignorant and easily frightened parents! Listen to Jenny McCarthy some more! She’s an actual doctor model who understands medical science!

The good news is the announcement has inspired a lot of words from intelligent people on the other side of the debate.  Some might consider “fostering the debate” healthy.  I don’t believe there is anything health about a debate in which one side is using ignorance and conspiracy theories.

Candidate for Virginia Governor’s Office wants to ban Oral sex to Save the Children

From what I can gather, Ken Cuccinelli thinks that the only people who engage in oral sex are pedophiles and if he makes it illegal, pedophiles will go to jail.

Please note that having any kind of sex with a minor is already illegal in Virginia so I’m not sure how preventing oral sex between consenting adults is going to result in more pedophiles going to jail.  Seems to me that the only thing that will result from such a law is more adults will get fined for cunnilingus.

Given Cuccinelli is well-known for being anti-gay, perhaps this is actually a means of making homosexuality illegal as homosexuals certainly have a lot of oral sex.

Since the supreme court says anal sex is OK, we have to nail them some other way!  I know! Blow jobs!  I’m sure the Supremes would agree we can legislate blow jobs!

Grown Ups 2 made more Money than Pacific Rim

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Look, I don’t think that Pacific Rim is a perfect film or anything. It is sure as hell a lot of fun and I’m pretty frustrated that Godzilla managed to earn 120 million in it’s opening weekend and Pacific Rim couldn’t muster 1/3rd of that amount.  A giant monster in New York was great.  Giant monsters fighting giant robots, however, is apparently not good enough to top the latest half assed Adam Sandler movie.

To reiterate – this could not make more money than a sequel to a movie everyone already hated.

How is it that they can keep making Transformers movies but the world of Pacific Rim is mostly likely going to be one and done?

Something is wrong with the people who are watching movies.

Or something is wrong with those of us who believe films like Pacific Rim and Cabin in the Woods will have widespread appeal because they are good.

Art Thief Covered up his Crime by Burning the Evidence

Works by Monet, Matisse, Picasso and Gaugin were burned by one of the thieves’ mother when she feared they might be found.

She’s tried to destroy other works of art her son has stolen as well.  I guess she doesn’t like seeing her little boy in trouble.  Did it ever occur to her to get him to stop stealing shit?

The really embarrassing part is that these guys didn’t engage in some elaborate Thomas Crown Affair style art theft.  Nah.

They just broke in through a back door and grabbed a bunch of paintings off the wall.  Those paintings are now ash.  I’d feel better if they were hanging in some private collector’s home.

I’d also feel better about other works of great art if it didn’t seem like stealing them was a little too damned easy.

Papal Indulgences are now Available via Twitter!

I was going to skip this one because it felt like I was being punked.  I mean, you can get time off from purgatory by following the Pope on Twitter?  Someone can decide that?

Now keep in mind, there is no free ride.  You have to actually believe that you can get time off by following the Pope on Twitter. God can tell the difference.

This guy is amazing! He can bless you with one hand and tweet from his pocket with the other! It’s like he’s in The Departed!

I guess you have to pray when he tells you to pray and stuff like that. So it isn’t as easy as following Lady Gaga.  Do you think that indulgences will be tweeted ahead of time?

“The Holy See reminds you that the pontiff’s 2:00 PM tweet is worth 1 wk off purgatory!”

“His Holiness can’t wait to get you a week closer to god! LOL!”

Anybody who thinks the Catholic Church has no sense of humor is wrong.  I’m firmly of the opinion this is a practical joke on a massive scale.

Because the alternative is just too depressing to consider.

Utah State Senator wants to Make Education Optional

His solution to the problem of parents not getting involved in their children’s’ schooling?  Let ’em choose to keep their kids out of school!  Because then the kids can do other stuff!

Like…um….watching TV!  Or playing with their friends (when they get home from school)!

Or hell, let’s repeal the child labor laws and have kids work in factories again.  If we want to compete with China, we need ourselves some cheap domestic child labor.  This guy is on to something!