Tag Archive | Pro Football

Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/28

Alabama House Committee Approves Prayer in Schools Bill Even Though They Lost the Vote

The bill looks to improve Alabama schools by allowing up to fifteen minutes of organized prayer per day. The believe, apparently, that this will improve children’s test scores more than any other more proven technique.  Kids who aren’t Christians are welcome to opt out and deal with ridicule from their peers and teachers.  So that’s fair.

In order for this bill to go before the Alabama house, it needed to be approved by committee.  It wasn’t.

By voice vote, it was two votes for the bill and three against (with three abstentions).  The committee chair claimed that she “heard more yays than nays” and forwarded the bill to the entire House.

Might I suggest she get one of these before the next session?

You would think that her devout Christianity that was on display when she supported a bill to improve schools through prayer would have been on display when she was called on to honestly count the votes.

I guess, though, that she would rather spend state money on defending the inevitable lawsuit coming their way if this bill becomes law.

How, exactly, are Christian values winning out here?

Read More…

Michael Sam – The Gayest Football Player Ever!

You may have missed it this week but Michael Sam, a strong prospect for the NFL draft, has announced that he is gay.  Much speculation surrounds how likely this announcement will be to help or hurt his prospects when teams start selecting players in April.

The question we should really be asking is this: which team is the best team for an openly gay man to join?  I think we should carefully analyze the 32 teams in the National Football League to figure out the best fit for Mr. Sam.

Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is filled with Saguaro cacti.  They look like giant spiky penises.  It also has the Grand Canyon, which is a little like a giant vagina.  Clearly the state is far too heterosexual to handle a guy like Sam.

Atlanta Falcons- If they couldn’t handle the bad publicity that came with having a quarterback who killed dogs and buried them in his yard, I don’t think they could handle the pressure cooker of having an opening gay player (which would be so much worse).  The Falcons are quitters.  Sam isn’t going to quit on his “decision” to be gay so he should keep looking.

Read More…