Shit that pissed me off this week – 8/24

Todd Akin says “Legitimate Rape” Rarely Results in Pregnancy

Yeah, yeah,  a lot of people are talking about this one so it may seem pointless that I even bring him up so late in the week.  Ignoring his messed up statistics and knowledge of biology for a moment, what really has me upset is the concept of “legitimate rape.”

Now by this I assume he meant to insinuate that many women who claim to have been raped are lying.  That is a pretty common tactic.  Point out that some cases of rape are not legitimate (which is true) and you cast doubt on all claims of rape.

Because we’re stupid, we think that if one woman lies about rape, any claim of rape must be viewed as suspect.  That’s what Akin taps into here.  He is trying to diffuse the question of abortion in the case of rape by suggesting that women are lying about rape in order to get an abortion.

He may have issued an apology but the language was no accident.  He knew exactly what he was saying and to whom he was speaking.

Note that Akin has brought all sorts of other stupid people out of the woodwork who have interesting thoughts about pregnancy and “legitimate” rape.

11 Year old Girl with Downs Syndrome may Face Death Penalty in Pakistan for Blasphemy

I shouldn’t get so upset about the pervasiveness of religion in America because at least we don’t have anti blasphemy laws that would result in the arrest of a mentally handicapped 11-year-old.  Don’t these people think that god can manage his own affairs?

If god really exists and he is all-powerful, can’t he sort this thing out on his own?  And what kind of petty ass god would lay the smackdown on an 11-year-old girl with a birth defect?  Every single person responsible for this situation deserves far worse than what will happen to this little girl in the coming weeks.

If one is a believer, I think the first thing  you should ask when thinking about god is “would an asshole do/think this?”  If the answer is “yes,” god probably wouldn’t do/think it.

Delta Kicks a man off of a Flight Because he Wears a T-Shirt Critical of the TSA

Did I mention he was also black?

Go read the article, folks.  It’s pretty remarkable.  I’ll wait.

Speaking as someone who thinks the security charade is exactly that, I can’t imagine why other passengers would have found this guys shirt objectionable.  How many of them honestly think that having their shoes x-rayed serves a useful purpose?

If you X-ray these shoes, you will see they are cushioned by the tears of the child laborers who made them.

It’s what we do to pretend that the TSA is keeping us safe.  I follow all the rules like a good little camper not because I feel that it makes me safer but because I want to be able to get on a plane and fly somewhere.

Now, I could probably get away with wearing the same shirt because I’m a middle-aged white guy and we all know that white guys aren’t dangerous, right?

Valedictorian Denied her Diploma Because she said “Hell” in her Speech

So here’s the lesson we want to teach kids as we send them on their journey to adulthood:  If you don’t do things exactly the way we want, you will be denied something you earned.

In this case, an exceptional student doesn’t get her diploma because she said a bad word and offended the principal.  The result?  She’s still going to college on a full scholarship and someday, when she is very successful, she’ll do everything in her power to ensure that nobody she knows ever goes to that High School.

I’m not thinking this situation is even legal.  She earned the diploma.  Can the principal just withhold it because he didn’t like a word in her speech?  She’s down the road, buster.  You have no control over her life any longer.

Give her the piece of paper and stop being such a jackass.  Any other action will only make you look worse.

MN State Senator Dan Hall Suggests that Opponents of the Gay Marriage Ban are Un-American

Specifically, he asked why there were no American Flags hanging on houses that had “Vote No” signs in the yard.

Well Mr Hall, I can’t speak for anyone else but since I have a “vote no” sign in my yard and I don’t have an American Flag, I’ll tell you:

It’s because I believe having a flag hanging in my yard is a symbol of empty patriotism.  The Flag is a symbol of our country but it is not the only symbol of our country.

Here’s another symbol of our country. One I think is more important. I think more people should fly this in front of their houses.

Another symbol, and one I hold considerably more dear, is the symbol of speaking out against something you think is wrong.  And, Mr, Hall, since you were one of the co-sponsors of the bill that will be on the ballot this fall, I want to make sure that every time you drive by my house, you know that I think you are wrong.

Flying a flag just tells you I’m an American.  You already knew that.

Same-Sex Couple is Denied Visitation Rights in Nevada in Spite of Legal Domestic Partnership

Why do gay couples want the right to marry?  So hospitals can’t pull bullshit like this.  In spite of a legal domestic partnership, the hospital would not allow visitation without a power of attorney.

Putting gay couples and straight couples on the same legal footing is, quite simply, the only acceptable solution.

In this case, the medical emergency was “only” a miscarriage.  What if it had been a car accident and a loved one was denied the right to say goodbye?  You just have to wonder why the Christian Right is so obsessed with the denial of basic human rights.

This sort of stuff doesn’t even fall under the heading of “loving the sinner.”

New Study Suggests Conservative States Give More to Charity Except Wait a Second…

What the study actually says is that residents of conservative states give a larger percentage of their income to churches.

Oooo look! A Graph! those people in the south sure are more generous than the rest of us!

So that means that states with the highest concentration of religious people have more people giving money to churches.

And unlike other charities, churches use the concept of tithing to compel people to donate.  I’m pretty sure the United Way would do better if millions of people went to a United Way function every Sunday morning where an offering basket was passed through the pews.

When you take churches out of the equation, the numbers are far more balanced.

Wait…you can lie with statistics????

So what does it all mean?  It means conservatives shouldn’t be all that damned smug about how much money they give to charity because a lot of that money goes to things like building a replacement for Touchdown Jesus.

Brains! Braaaaaaainssssssss!

Nintendo Power to Cease Publication

What?  Say it ain’t so Mario!

You made Mario cry, Nintendo Power!

Actually, I just feel bad because my son loves reading Nintendo Power and he’ll be sad to learn that the magazine will no longer be available.

Which probably means he’ll spend more of his time re-reading old Garfield cartoons and there is nothing beneficial in that equation!

Debate Rages as to Whether or not the Minnesota Fringe Should be Juried

Bill Stiteler, who co-wrote “The Complete Works of William Shatner (abridged)” with me, wrote what I’d consider to be the definative response to this conversation.  I’d like to thank him for saving me the time to write a lengthy retort on the topic.

Robin Gillette also wrote a very nice response.

The issue I take with all of this is the idea that the theatre being produced isn’t adventurous (or something.)  Look, that’s all in how you define adventurous.

Two years ago, I co-wrote a kids’ show.  I’d never written a kids’ show before.  I work in blue humor most of the time.  It was a huge stretch for me.

Was the result “bold?”  Hell, I don’t know.  You’d have the ask the people who watched it.

The fact is, the Fringe allows many of us to explore, to take chances and sometimes we fail.  I get that there is a risk to a non-juried model and that risk is you might see something awful or something that is “too predictable.”

Suck it up.  I’d still rather watch a bad show at the Fringe than a good one at the Guthrie.

I Just Don’t Get the Model the Renaissance Festival Operates Under

Having worked out at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival for several years, I’ve gotten used to all the idiotic choices that make me question how seriously the ownership/management takes what they are doing.  I roll my eyes and repeat the mantra that I control my performance space and I can do no more than that.

Even if there is a mini-doughnut truck on site and it has a loud generator that infringes on my performance space.

But here’s what I don’t get.  There was a fire on site last year that destroyed several food shops.  As a result, an entire string of food booths needed to be rebuilt before the show opened this year.

It made all the papers!

So given that they knew they had to re-build those shops and we had one of the mildest winters on record, which meant they could have started rebuilding in March, why the fuck aren’t they finished yet?

Did opening day creep up on them?  Was it a surprise?  When you are asking people to pay you $20 + just to get in the door, you ought to give a shit about stuff like that.

I confess, it is stuff like that which makes me wonder if the people at the top even care about the people who are paying to walk through the gate.

I got Followed by a Pshychic Reading Twitter Last Night!

Really, @psychicread4u?  You thought I’d be the kind of person who wants to spend $20 for a “world class read?”

I’d love to tell you how wrong you are but shouldn’t you have already known?