Tag Archive | Mitt Romney

Shit that Pissed Me Off – 3/28

Mitt Romney Could Have Prevented Russia’s Annexation of Crimea

Turns out Mitt can see the future!  He can see it so well, he could have stopped Putin if he’d only been elected President.

I’m sure he was on the phone to Obama several times a week because fixing the problem would have been a lot more important that scoring political points, right?

Look, I know that the Republicans are contractually obligated to say that Obama does a bad job at everything.  However, are they so stupid as to think they could have fixed the Ukraine situation?

Wow! The US is, like, right next to the Ukraine! Obviously we could fix this if there was a Republican in the white house!

No, of course they aren’t.  They know full well that in the same circumstances, they couldn’t have done anything either.  Thing is, they are assuming all the people listening to them are too stupid to figure that out.

And what really pisses me off is they are probably right.

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Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 12/21

Fuck Mike Huckabee

In the wake of a tragedy like the school shooting in Connecticut last week, Mike Huckabee decided the best way to deal with it was to be an insensitive prick.  Rather that recognizing that what happened was a random act of violence by a clearly deranged individual, Huckabee decided that all of this could have been avoided if people could only pray in schools.

I get that Huckabee is a religious man but in this particular case, he’s trying to come up with a reason that has absolutely no relationship to the tragedy at hand.

The secondary implication, mind you, is that if we were praying in schools, god wouldn’t let this shit happen.  God just sits back and watches because we won’t let Christians pray on school property.  As soon as prayer can happen on school grounds, god will strike down the gunmen before they can kill a bunch of innocent children.

Oh but wait!  Prayer is allowed on school grounds!  It is public prayer that isn’t permitted!  So not only is Huckabee a dick, he’s lying.

Huckabee isn’t alone in this either.  Bryan Fischer says God didn’t protect those kids because “god won’t go where he’s not wanted.” Eric Hovind also tweeted that the entire affair was probably because the shooter grew up in a school without god.

Dear God: I thought you were omnipotent. Turns out you are just a dick.

I don’t want to sugar coat this or these fucks might get the wrong idea.  What they are saying is tone-deaf insensitive grandstanding and if we lived in a just universe (we don’t), they would never be allowed to speak into a microphone again.

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Shit that Pissed me Off This Week – 11/16

Wisconsin Lawmakers want to Pass a Bill to make it Legal to Arrest a Federal Official who is Doing his job

This is not all of the members of the Wisconsin Legislature, mind you.  Just nine of them.  One of them says the Affordable care act is “unconstitutional” (even though the Supreme Court said it wasn’t) and that is his justification for supporting a law that would get a federal employee arrested for trying to do his job.

You can’t make something unconstitutional by saying so.  That isn’t the way the system works.  If it did, I’d say the Citizens’ United ruling was unconstitutional and Super Pac’s would be instantly dissolved.

As a lawmaker, you don’t get to pick which laws you follow.  That’s not the job you got hired to do.

You can try to change laws.  You can try to make laws better.  You can’t decide that the supreme court got it wrong (even if you believe they did) and then start enacting laws based on what you think they should have ruled.

Aw fuck it! We can just assume that whoever wrote the dissent got it right, can’t we?

Either you believe in our system of government and you work within the rules or you shouldn’t have run for office.

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Monday Morning Comedy Orgy!

Lots of new content over at Vilification Tennis this morning and I had a hand in most of it!

First, you can check out an article I wrote about the aftermath of the recent election.

You can also read a new Movie Dick article that explores the most important reason for the success of Skyfall.

And finally, we have recorded a Vilification Tennis Podcast at the convention.  It was recorded late at night and everyone was pretty drunk.  And by “pretty drunk,” I mean “completely wasted.”

So please listen, read and enjoy!

Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 11/9

Pakistani Couple Killed Their Daughter Because She Looked at a Boy

A 15-year-old girl looked at a boy on a motorcycle twice.  Her parents feared she was going to turn out like her older sister who had already “disgraced” the family. She promised she wouldn’t do it again but it was too late because her mother had already thrown acid on her.

The good news is that her parents figure it was her destiny to die like that.  It wasn’t really their fault, you see.  They were just tools of destiny.

It was also apparently her destiny to die because her parents waited almost 12 hours to take her to the hospital after they threw acid on her face.  They would have taken her right away, you see, but it was her destiny to wait.

Let’s be clear: religious fanaticism didn’t kill that girl.

But it sure didn’t help keep her alive, either.

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Shit that Pissed me Off This Week – 9/28

A Story from Inside the Westboro Baptist Church

The Story is one of the finest radio programs on the air.  Dick Gordon is one of the best interviewers I’ve ever heard and he finds amazing subjects every single episode. If I didn’t have a life, I would be listening between 9:00 and 10:00 PM every night.

This week he interviewed Nate Phelps, one of Fred Phelps’ sons.  I’ve said for a long time that I’m going to maintain strict radio silence where the Westboro Baptist Chuch is concerned because talking about them gives them power and attention and that’s exactly what they want.  I’m breaking my vow of silence to talk about the one thing we don’t really understand about these people.

Listening to Nate talk about the history of intellectual and physical abuse that he was subjected to at the hand of his father, I came to understand the tragic nature of the world Fred Phelps has created.  He creates hateful, awful people by creating a world that makes that behavior seem normal.

Kids don’t think this without a trusted adult force feeding it to them

When you hear Nate’s description of that insular society, you almost feel sorry for the people who have been, quite literally, brainwashed into doing what they do.  Worse, every one of them is being taught how to make sure the next generation does the same thing.

It’s a never ending cycle of hatred and we all feed into it by hating them right back.    I wish I knew the solution.  I wish I could figure out how to rescue these kids from the cycle of hatred and abuse that Fred Phelps has created.

I don’t know how to do that.  I just fear that every time those hate filled people are met with (deserving) hatred and anger, we are perpetuating the problem.

You want to know how I define evil?  Fred Phelps.

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New Comedy Writing

I’ve got quite a few new articles up at the Vilification Tennis website this morning.

I wrote the World News article this morning looking at doubts surrounding Mitt Romney’s Citizenship.

I also wrote a new Movie Dick article about a brand new genre in movie making – the “film in which the title character doesn’t appear” genre.

And finally, after a brief hiatus, we have a new episode of the Vilification Tennis Podcast up!  We recorded it in the MN Renaissance Festival campground on Friday night and it is pretty entertaining.

So pop on over and take a look if you like!