Thundersnow
Having lived in Minnesota for almost my entire life, I’ve grown used to weather that has a singular goal.
By that I mean we are regularly subjected to weather whose only purpose is the eradication of every living thing that comes into contact with it.
The rest of the country looks at Minnesota and all they think about is the deadly cold and the gigantic piles of snow and they assume that our state must be a frozen wasteland for the entire year. Like Alaska without mountains or Sarah Palin.
Those of us who live here know the reality is far worse. The snow thaws and when it does, newcomers believe that they are safe from the deadly weather and they boldly emerge from their homes to hoard canned goods for the next three to five months.
Then the first thunderstorm hits and they realize that spring is every bit as deadly as winter. You just don’t have to shovel your walk after the storm is over. The rain that accumulates at a rate of 1 inch per hour and the hail that seems laser guided to destroy windshields is pretty bad but these storms also bring straight line winds.
People who don’t live on the great plains have heard of tornadoes and, I expect, believe they represent the worst wind can do to you. Especially if there are sharks.
Those people have never heard of straight line winds. Straight line winds are winds that originate in the Rocky Mountains and sweep across the great plains gathering momentum because there is nothing to stop them. The buffalo herds, which used to act as a wind buffer, are gone.
Shit that Pissed Me off – 2/21
Student Suspended For Pretending He Was Having Sex With a Teacher
What pisses me off is the simple fact that every time someone makes a false accusation, it is that much harder for someone who is actually a victim.
Now let’s be clear – this kid was making a joke. He was not trying to get anyone in trouble. What he didn’t realize is that his joke had real world consequences. He could have cost an innocent teacher her job.
Because even if everyone reading his tweet knew that he was telling a joke, law enforcement has to act as if he wasn’t. Because what if he wasn’t?
Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to take you down to the station and scare the shit out of you because one of your students is an idiot.
This kid did something stupid and while his lengthy suspension may be a little bit severe, kids need to understand that what seems like an innocent joke to them can hurt people more than they could possibly imagine. Instead of standing up for him, his classmates should be standing up for the teacher who could have lost her job and gone to jail because of a joke.
And they also need to realize that he made it that much harder for someone who is actually suffering from abuse to be heard.
Alphabetical Movie – Love Actually
I know there is wild disagreement about Love Actually.
A lot of people find it funny, romantic and charming. Others find it cloying, sexist and offensive.
I’m not going to wade into that debate because like or hate Love Actually, the film has resulted in the most sinister of conceivable side effects.
I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. And New Year’s Eve. I’m talking about every film that uses a holiday to create a romantic melting pot of celebrities being adorable. These films are the bastard children of Love Actually and they keep popping up every year in a sad attempt to do what someone else already did better.
To call these films forgettable feels like a complement. They don’t deserve enough time to be forgotten.
Geeks Without God Gets Extra Geeky
The whole concept behind Geeks Without God is that we are geeks who are also atheists and both sides of that equation are important. This week’s episode is seriously geeky because we talk about the most recent series of “Sherlock.” In depth.
I’m kind of in love with this new series. I think all three episodes are great although the second episode may be my favorite episode of the entire run. Hard to say. I’ve had to re-watch the first episode of series one a few times in order to make up my mind.
The three of us geek out hard on this episode. We go very deep into spoiler territory. Very deep.
But I gotta say that this episode was a lot of fun to record. Three fans just geeking out about a terrific show.
Putting it Together – Collaboration
Putting it Together is my Monday “artist talking about art stuff blog”. The title comes from “Sunday in the Park with George,” the best (and possibly only) musical that is entirely dedicated to an artist talking about his art. Is that pretentious enough?
Collaboration is one of those words that theatre people throw around in the same way corporate America throws around the word “Paradigm.” We make it sound really important. Can you actually produce theatre without collaborating?
Can you produce business without a paradigm?
While I’m certain that you can do business without paradigms (or synergy), it’s pretty hard to produce theatre without collaboration. Even if you are writing a one person show and the person in question is you, you probably aren’t going to be running your own lights. You might want someone else to direct your show.
Michael Sam – The Gayest Football Player Ever!
You may have missed it this week but Michael Sam, a strong prospect for the NFL draft, has announced that he is gay. Much speculation surrounds how likely this announcement will be to help or hurt his prospects when teams start selecting players in April.
The question we should really be asking is this: which team is the best team for an openly gay man to join? I think we should carefully analyze the 32 teams in the National Football League to figure out the best fit for Mr. Sam.
Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is filled with Saguaro cacti. They look like giant spiky penises. It also has the Grand Canyon, which is a little like a giant vagina. Clearly the state is far too heterosexual to handle a guy like Sam.
Atlanta Falcons- If they couldn’t handle the bad publicity that came with having a quarterback who killed dogs and buried them in his yard, I don’t think they could handle the pressure cooker of having an opening gay player (which would be so much worse). The Falcons are quitters. Sam isn’t going to quit on his “decision” to be gay so he should keep looking.
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/14
Disney Star Gets Death Threats Because Her Show Featured Lesbians
The star in question, Mia Talerico, is five years old.
Her show featured a play date in which her friend had two moms. You know, a healthy happy lesbian couple. Just the sort of thing that causes the bile to rise in the average Christian Right household.
Yeah. This sort of thing is really threatening.
So what’s the Christian thing to do?
Not being a Christian, I’m a bit uncertain. Can someone tell me if threatening the life of a five-year old girl is the Christian thing to do?
And can someone tell me how this kind of behavior comes even close to hating the sin and loving the sinner?
Also a memo to “One Million Moms” – you currently have only 60,000+ “likes” on Facebook. You could increase that number twice as fast if only you allowed lesbian moms!
Alphabetical Movie – The Lost World: Jurassic Park 2
The central argument being made by Jurassic Park and The Lost World is if we bring dinosaurs back from extinction, they will destroy us. Humans, we learn, are just too puny to survive the return of the giant lizards and we will become a buffet for T-rex and Velociraptors.
Not being a biologist, I can only speculate that there are gigantic problems with this assumption as the current climate on most of the Earth is not actually compatible with dinosaur physiology. Sure, Velociraptor infestation would a problem in New York but could they survive the winter?
Science aside, here’s the big problem with this premise: Who cares? Dinosaurs!
If a scientist stepped up to a podium tomorrow and said “I can re-create dinosaurs but there are going to be a few problems…” every reporter in the room would miss what came next because they would be envisioning parks where you could saddle up to ride an Apotosaurus, go Pteranadon gliding and feed goats to a T-Rex.
Geeks Without God Tackles the Creationism vs. Evolution “Debate”
This week’s Geeks Without God was about as timely as our podcast gets. We talk about the debate between Ken Ham and Bill Nye that took place last Tuesday. I have to be honest and admit we didn’t actually watch the debate because we had strong issues with the fact it was even taking place.
Were we right to judge what took place without actually watching it? Well, given that our objections had little to do with the content of the debate, I think that we had some valid points to make.
Creationism is something that annoys the hell out of me because it is completely dishonest and I’m pretty sure it comes out in this week’s podcast. So if you want to listen to me (and Molly and Nick) get pretty vocally angry, I’m guessing you’ll like this week’s show.
You can listen to it here.
Putting it Together – Doubt
Putting it Together is my Monday “artist talking about art stuff blog”. The title comes from “Sunday in the Park with George,” the best (and possibly only) musical that is entirely dedicated to an artist talking about his art. Is that pretentious enough?
As I try to make sense of how to be a creator whose job is creation, I have a lot of doubts and fears. Am I good enough? Why didn’t I start doing this ten years ago? Can I even do this? What do I do first?
The voice inside my head isn’t a pessimistic one. I prefer to think that it is a realist. The questions aren’t the problem. As long as I have some good answers.
Doubt is part of any creative process. At least I hope I’m not the only person who goes through it. I assume that most people who produce something that exists primarily to entertain other people spend at least some small amount of time wondering if what they made was good enough.
Grail Diary 