The White House Correspondents dinner was this weekend. It is an event in which a comedian is hired to roast the President and the White House Press Corps. For the second year in a row, Donald Trump opted not to attend.
Because he’s a coward who isn’t capable of listening to a single negative thing said about him. That alone should piss you off. Donald Trump is a coward. Doesn’t matter the awful things that may or may not have been said. He couldn’t take the softest of softball jokes about him.
At least he knows it, I guess. So he holds a campaign event where everyone loves him and then tweets about an event he didn’t attend like some kind of smug asshole. Which is the role he was born to play.
Michelle Wolf spoke truth to power and she didn’t pull punches. The predictable result was conservative politicians upset because she made jokes about Trump’s pussy grabbing (he said it you magnanimous fucks) and Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ lies (not her appearance – watch the actual video).
In the end, she called out the press and that is probably why they turned against her. She pointed out that whether or not the press corps likes Trump, they made him. They profit from him and even as Trump takes unending potshots at them, they are secretly happy to have him around.
She then pointed out that Flint still doesn’t have clean water.
You can complain that she wasn’t telling a joke when she said that. You can even argue that her comedy routine wasn’t funny (I laughed but comedy is subjective). But the fact is her final message – that all of this is bullshit because the people of Flint should be able to drink water and none of us give a fuck about that any more – got lost amidst reporters falling all over themselves to feel sorry for Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Jon Standard is a Utah politician who, like a lot of other Utah Politicians, is a Mormon and a Republican. He believes that “traditional” marriage should be between one man and one woman (but that’s only because the Mormon church no longer encourages bigamy) and recently helped pass tougher laws for people who solicit prostitutes.
He was forced to resign last week because he solicited a prostitute. He claims it is because his father has cancer and I feel very bad for his father because this jackass is using someone else’s terminal disease as an excuse.
I’m sure that the right is going to say this one Mormon Republican lawmaker in an extremely conservative state who is likely to be replaced by another Mormon Republican lawmaker is being targeted for a hit job by this prostitute who is lying because she’s a prostitute and you can’t trust a prostitute.
I mean, she says he hired her to do a job and she did it so I’m feeling like she’s pretty reliable, you know?
Oh, and he may have used taxpayer funds to pay for the hotel where he hooked up with her. Smaller government!
Some may ask why I keep writing about all the stupid shit Donald Trump does. Simple – there is a remote possibility that I will convince one person to change their vote. I don’t care if they vote for Clinton. Maybe they will vote for Johnson. Maybe they will just not vote for President. I don’t care. I just want Trump to get creamed.
Because if Trump does OK or, fuck me, actually wins, he’s the kind of candidate we will start to see all the time. I can’t figure out why any of us would want that.
Here’s what he said this week:
“If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks,” Mr. Trump said, as the crowd began to boo. He quickly added: “Although the Second Amendment people — maybe there is, I don’t know.”
Now there are three possible explanations for what he meant.
- He actually was suggesting that someone should assassinate Hillary Clinton to ensure she doesn’t get to appoint Supreme Court Justices.
- He was just saying they were a powerful voting bloc and everyone is over-reacting.
- He was making a joke
If we examine the ramifications of each statement we come up with these possible conclusions:
- HOLY FUCK!
- So, in other words, he was too stupid to realize that what he said could easily be interpreted as a veiled threat against his opponent. By association, his followers were too stupid to realize that his rhetoric is dangerous and could incite violence.
- So it can’t be both 2 & 3 even though various folks from the Trump camp have indeed claimed both 2 & 3. If it is a joke, then it means he was well aware of what he was saying. In which case: HOLY FUCK! Making a joke about killing your opponent isn’t any better!
None of these scenarios look good for Trump. They look worse for people who continue to make excuses for him.
No Hymen, No Diamond
No link on this one. Do a Facebook search if you want to find it.
This Facebook group is dedicated to the idea that men deserve virgins to marry. If a girl doesn’t have a hymen, they aren’t going to put a ring on it.
They also post a lot of really super funny misogynist jokes like “How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb…. 0, everyone knows feminists can’t change anything!”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Checkmate, feminists! You haven’t changed anything at all! Ever!
Well, sure. You got the right to vote and paid family medical leave and legalized abortion but what have you done lately?
I shouldn’t give a shit about a bunch of insecure men’s rights assholes and for the most part, I don’t. They are an embarrassment to other human beings but I believe their point of view is the minority and they just look like petulant douchebags who resent all the women that won’t date them because they are disrespectful cocks.
But I’m raising two boys. And I’m trying to teach them that women should be loved and respected and afforded all the rights men take for granted.
And the existence of garbage like this makes my job a little bit tougher.
Personally, I don’t like guns. I don’t like to be around them. I have never wanted to shoot one. I don’t want a gun in my house.
I also don’t like the almost sexual obsession we have with guns in America. The desire to carry our guns out in the open because IT IS OUR RIGHT is just silly. You don’t need an AK-47 to shop at Wal-Mart. All you need is a lack of self respect.
My dislike of guns, however, should not be misinterpreted as a desire to take away the rights of responsible gun owners. At least not all of their rights. Just a few limitations, maybe. When I ask questions about gun control, I mean exactly that.
I’m talking about controlling access to guns in some cases. I’m asking how we keep guns out of the hands of people who are truly dangerous. Because I think that is something we’d all genuinely like to do. Pro-gun and anti-gun alike, we all want to stop bad guys from shooting up theaters. Or killing two people in the middle of a news broadcast.
This video is actually fucking hilarious. The stinger at the end – freaking brilliant.
But I can’t get the song out of my head. It is an earworm of epic proportions. On Christmas Eve, we weren’t singing holiday tunes. We were singing the damn Shia LaBeouf song.
In the kitchen! Shia LaBeouf!
Cooking up the meat! Shia LaBeouf!
Opening the Presents! Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf!
It’s probably best if you don’t watch the video. Your sanity may depend on it.
She didn’t cancel the talk because she was threatened, you understand. She was still going to speak.
But she asked for protection against someone who claimed he was going to open fire on her and Utah law prevented police from patting down attendees at the event.
So a guy (I’m assuming it was a guy) threatens to shoot her and the police can’t even stop anyone from carrying a gun to her talk. Because the right to carry a firearm wherever the fuck you want is more important than the right to keep people with firearms out of a place where someone has threatened to kill people with a firearm.
And spare me the good guy with the gun/bad guy with a gun thing. If the bad guy with a gun gets into the event, he (again I’m assuming it is a guy) will be able to kill his target before anyone kills him. And that’s all he cares about.
So best case scenario is this asshole (who was probably making empty threats but they still worked) would have died after accomplishing his stated goal. Which is what he expected would happen anyway. Great solution, Utah!
Please note that I’m not talking about Gamergate for a few reasons. First, it has been talked to death and the people doing most of the talking are assholes who don’t deserve my time.
And second, we need to stop naming every scandal after Watergate. It is just so completely unoriginal. Have you guys heard of the Teapot Dome Scandal? That’s a great name for a scandal! Now everything is NounGate.
Nixon is dead, folks. We need to move on.