Shit that Pissed me Off – 6/23/17
Women Can’t Get Directing Jobs in Hollywood But Men Can
You know what is great about Wonder Woman? It was directed by a woman. Not because women should direct female helmed super hero films but because hardly any women direct feature films. Is it because they don’t want to or because Hollywood is notoriously progressive until it comes to actually giving women jobs?
Before you answer that question, keep in mind that Patty Jenkins directed Monster in 2003. Charlize Theron won Best Actress for the film. The next feature film Jenkins directed?
Wonder Woman in 2017
The article above talks about Colin Trevorrow, who was handed the keys to Jurassic World after having made one mildly successful Independent film. He’s now the announced director for Star Wars Episode IX. He also directed the new, apparently horrible, film Book of Henry.
The problem here is men with no experience are handed the keys to major films all the time. Women with experience are not. Know how many movies Kathryn Bigelow has directed since she won an Oscar for Best Director in 2008? Two.
Maybe someone tried to hand her a Star Wars movie. But I’m betting they didn’t.
I mean it’s not like there’s anything in Star Wars for women to like, right?
The issue here isn’t Colin Trevorrow getting work. It is the fact he is being handed major blockbuster films when more experienced women don’t even get a call. I mean, Michael Bay makes unintelligible crap but at least his films make (for some inexplicable reason) gigantic piles of money. When Trevorrow was given Jurassic World, there was no evidence he could do the same.
Except for the fact he was making a Jurassic Park movie so of course it was going to make gigantic piles of money.
If you handed a Captain America movie to a woman director, it would also make piles of money. So why doesn’t that happen? They only super hero movie handed to a woman so far is the movie about a hero who is a woman.
It can’t be sexism right? It has to be something else.
No. It’s totally sexism.
Shit that Didn’t Piss me Off – 9/18
Apologies to regular fans of my Friday blog. I’m going to do things a little differently today.
I’ve been writing Shit that Pissed me off most Fridays for the last three years. I enjoy it as an exercise in writing humor and in exploring my opinions about what is happening in the world around me. Since I’ve started writing the column, it has never coincided with my birthday.
Well this year, it has.
So I decided instead of spending my birthday thinking about stuff that annoys me, I’m going to write about things that make me happy. I’ll post this week’s shit that pissed me off on Monday. Because even on my birthday, there are things that piss me off.
I begin my 48th year today and in honor of that, here are 48 things that make me happy.
1. I’ve been married to the same amazing woman for the last 25 1/2 years. She is brilliant, courageous, thoughtful, sexy, and supportive. She laughs at some of my jokes. She listens when I’m in a bad mood. She corrects me when I’m wrong. There is not a night that goes by where I am not happy we share a bed, a home, and a life.
2. I’ve got one fantastic mother. She loves math and has spent her life finding ways to help others love it too. She loves being an amateur artist. She is a fun travel companion. Any day I know I’m going to see her is automatically a good day.
3. My oldest son is great. He’s clever, cheerful, fun, and affectionate. He grew several inches in the last year and is starting to show signs of facial hair. Pretty soon, he’s going to learn how to drive and get a job and start looking at colleges. I’m not sure I’m ready for any of that.
4. My youngest son is wonderfully creative. The way he builds new Lego structures and describes ideas for new games or parks or dinosaurs shows boundless inventiveness. His head must be such an interesting place to live.
5. My Brother is full of passion and energy. He has been remarkably successful in not just the field he has chosen to pursue, but most anything he decides to accomplish. We have a great relationship hampered only by the distance that separates us.
6. My Sister-in-law has a sharp sense of humor, an infectious positive attitude, and seems like a perfect partner for my brother.
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 11/14
I didn’t know who this guy was until I clicked the wrong link. Now I know all about him.
I would hope you don’t need to be a feminist to think he’s a complete sleaze bag who deserves to be maced on a regular basis. He makes money holding seminars telling guys how to be awful to their partners. He doesn’t respect women and he also doesn’t respect men because he thinks guys are supposed to treat women like shit because they are women.
Just look at her sitting there being a woman! How dare she?
Thing is, he may not even be the asshole he pretends to be. He just says this stuff to get lonely suckers to come to his seminars.
Then you have the guys who pay money because they want to be like the person he pretends to be. You have to be a pretty awful human being for this kind of thing to be worth your time.
Holy shit guys, it isn’t that hard. You want women to like you? Be fucking nice to them. And don’t get angry if they don’t want to have sex with you because that isn’t what they are there for.
Shit that Pissed me off – 10/3
All this Hatred of the Common Core
The particular article I linked to calls it “Obama’s Common Core” even though the President had nothing to do with it. However, if you are conservative and don’t like something in government, you need to blame it on Obama.
Common core mathematics actually tries to teach kids how to do math the same way we already do it in our heads. As has been explained every time someone new complains about Common Core.
Suddenly, the whole thing has become a liberal vs. conservative thing. Look at how these liberals are messing up education with their weird math stuff!
Look at all these liberal numbers! Screw diversity! We are in a post-racial-numbers society!
Common core is a tool kids can use to learn math. Any good teacher will tell you that it is not the only tool and the more tools we give kids, the better the odds will be that they can learn.
Common core isn’t turning your kids into Democrats! Obama doesn’t want your kids to be bad at math.
He just wants them to commit voter fraud! They don’t teach that in Math class.
Shit that Pissed Me Off – 8/22
Canadian School Board Candidate Wants Creationism Taught in Schools
Her picture looks adorable. I’m sure she’s twenty. Maybe.
She is firmly of the opinion that they should teach the controversy (that doesn’t exist). She also says that schools should focus on the “basics” of education.
Like evolution, right?
No no no no no no no no!
Well, she thinks it should be taught in science classrooms alongside creationism. She also thinks sex education should be abstinence only because that is also “basic.”
As basic as Abstinence-Bible-Contraceptives are tools of the Devil!
Is this barely not-teenager going to be elected? I doubt it.
And yet I’m tired of living in a world where people continue to believe that creationism should be given the same amount of time in the classroom. And I’m tired of living in a world where we continue to argue about abstinence-only sex education when the evidence clearly shows it is inadequate.
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/14
Disney Star Gets Death Threats Because Her Show Featured Lesbians
The star in question, Mia Talerico, is five years old.
Her show featured a play date in which her friend had two moms. You know, a healthy happy lesbian couple. Just the sort of thing that causes the bile to rise in the average Christian Right household.
Yeah. This sort of thing is really threatening.
So what’s the Christian thing to do?
Not being a Christian, I’m a bit uncertain. Can someone tell me if threatening the life of a five-year old girl is the Christian thing to do?
And can someone tell me how this kind of behavior comes even close to hating the sin and loving the sinner?
Also a memo to “One Million Moms” – you currently have only 60,000+ “likes” on Facebook. You could increase that number twice as fast if only you allowed lesbian moms!
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/7
Coke Super Bowl Ad Creates Unsurprising Freak Out
The ad was supposed to be patriotic. It started with “America the Beautiful” in English and then transitioned to the song being sung in other languages.
Now the concept (I think) was to show how people from other countries immigrate (legally) to America to pursue a dream of freedom and blah blah blah America is awesome. Fortunately, the internet is filled with people who wanted to prove to Coke that America is not, in fact awesome.
They objected to the whole idea that an American song could be sung in any language other than American! How dare Coke suggest such a thing?
Is the word “Coke” even English?
They also freaked out about the fact that the commercial featured an openly gay couple prominently displayed in a song written by a lesbian.
The saddest commentary to me is the fact that when we watched the commercial at our Super Bowl party, we predicted the response. And no, that doesn’t make us psychic. Predicting stupidity requires no special skills.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/3
Teen Makes a Joke on Twitter and People Tell her She Should Kill Herself
So here’s the joke:
This beautiful earth is now officially 2014 years old, amazing
Now shame on her, I guess, for failing to clearly identify her post as sarcasm. I mean she’s only a teenager so it could naturally be assumed that she wasn’t making a joke but was, rather, a complete idiot.
Her joke went viral and when jokes go viral on the internet, two things happen. The first is that a lot of people are amused by the joke. The second is that a lot of other people will completely fail to get her joke and reveal themselves to be complete assholes.
If this was a real book, it would eventually outsell the bible. Ironically, nobody who bought it would read it because they would assume they already knew it all.
The internet, my friends, is the most Democratic place in the world. You want free speech? You can make a joke that reaches thousands of people.
Be warned, however, that some of those people are idiotic. And the idiotic ones are the most likely to say something.
Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 1/18
Pat Robertson Thinks Marriages Wouldn’t fail if Women Weren’t So Ugly
A 17-year-old boy notices that his father is neglecting his mother so what does Robertson do? He suggests that the problem isn’t really his dad but the fact that his mother is too “hard nosed.”
Robertson has been a misogynistic douche for many a year and there are times where I honestly wish god existed just so Robertson would get his ass reamed when he finally kicks the bucket. Maybe Robertson is right and I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure Yahweh is going to have some choice words for that smug douchebag.
And another thing – my name is ZEUS! Is that so fucking hard to remember?
Robertson makes the common error of thinking that if there is anything wrong in a relationship, it is the woman’s fault. I assume he bases this assumption on the fact that he’s incapable of viewing women as fellow members of the human race. I don’t know, maybe he’s still pissed about the rib.
Get over it, man. God ain’t going to give it back.
Shit That Pissed me off This Week – 10/5
I don’t care how you feel about it – voter fraud is a red herring in the Voter ID debate. There is no evidence of widespread voter fraud and further, no evidence that voter ID laws will prevent fraud.
Also, we’ll need to draw some blood.
What Voter ID laws will do is make it more difficult for college students to vote without getting a new drivers’ license in the state where they attend college. It will make it harder for seniors who no longer drive to vote. It will make it harder for a lot of people to vote and that pisses me off because voting is one of the most basic rights we all have in this country.
We shouldn’t make it harder to vote. We should make it fucking easy to vote. That way more people will vote.
All that aside, isn’t it a bit suspicious that the party who is most strongly pushing for voter fraud is responsible for voter fraud? I know it’s just one guy but that proves my argument. This sort of thing is not widespread.
What are they really trying to do with these amendments? Because it would seem what they aren’t trying to do is stop voter fraud.
Grail Diary 