Shit that Pissed me Off – 3/9/18
Utah State House Makes The Worst Rap Video Ever
Mostly this is so bad it’s funny but you have to be a little upset at the fact they made this horrible and cluelessly racist video that uses the theme from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (and titled “The Fresh Prints of Bill Here” – I’m not kidding) to educate children in a way Schoolhouse Rock did much better back in the 70’s at all.
Spoiler: This was not based on a song by Will Smith.
The mostly Republican and all white cast put together for the express purpose of teaching kids how legislation works while simultaneously setting poetry back several thousand years is hypnotically painful. Barely ten seconds in, there is a remarkable effort to make the word “chamber” rhyme with the word “there.”
It fails.
And while I’m sure whoever produced this video will argue that it is about how a Utah State Bill becomes law, it really is exactly the same process covered by a certain bill sitting there on Capitol hill. That video also didn’t feature a bunch of white people unironically trying to dance like black rappers.
The legislators featured in the video can almost be excused for their clueless behavior because it probably wasn’t their idea. But someone thought this up. And shot it. And edited it together. And at no point did it occur to them that what they were doing was going to be a spectacular failure.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 7/28/17
North Carolina Church Reportedly Importing Slaves from Brazil
Post racial society, huh?
This report, which the church very pointedly doesn’t deny in it’s vehement tirade against the news organization that broke the story, suggests some troubling things.
Now I know we could all simply dismiss this entire mess because people aren’t that awful but history tells us that, yes, people can really be that awful. There is currently a person that awful working in the white house. And our President regularly listens to what Mr. Bannon has to say.
America is, we are told, the greatest country in the history of countries (sure we are) so we ought to be super upset about this entire problem. However, with the possible exception of Vatican City, we are the most smugly Christian country in the history of countries and that means any report like this must be viewed with suspicion because Christians just don’t do that sort of thing!
And to be fair, most Christians don’t do that sort of thing. We should really get upset, though, when some self professed Christians actually do that sort of thing.
Remember how we all got super upset about this story five years after it broke?
The response so far seems tepid. It isn’t the sort of “what the FUCK” kind of response you like to see when a church is accused of enslaving people. I mean the health care vote is a big deal and it affects all Americans so I understand why we aren’t quite as concerned about a few Brazilians.
Once we get this health care thing sorted out, though, can we spare a few thoughts for people tricked into slavery?
Oh fuck. We’re never going to be done sorting out this health care thing, are we?
Shit that Pissed me off – 3/11
Donald Trump Thinks Islam Hates Us
Trump is like an improvisational comedian who isn’t funny. Any time he says something outrageous, he gets called on it. Instead of clarifying his statement, he simply says “Yes, I totally meant that, AND…”
Then he says something even worse. It would be hilarious were it not for the thousands of people who hang on his every word and totally believe everything he says.
Today, I’m going to say that Barak Obama is a martian!
Does Islam hate us? No. But I guarantee you that the fact Trump has said exactly that and has stood behind the statement is all some of his supporters need to believe something that stupid.
Why, this week a man punched a protester being escorted out of a Trump rally and later said “the next time we see him, we may have to kill him.” He assumed that since the guy was black, he was also probably Muslim and, therefore, ISIS. Was this a by-product of Trump having said he’d like to punch a protestor in the face?
Maybe.
What is truly insane is the idea that people think Trump will make America great again. He’s already made America worse.
Shit that Pissed Me off – 7/25
Syrians are Destroying Sculptures Because Allah
Dear everyone in the world: Just because your particular strain of god does not approve of something is no reason to take that thing away from the rest of us.
When you destroy a sculpture that is thousands of years old, you can’t just make a new one.
This has existed for thousands of years and Allah has done nothing about it. Therefore we must!
Unfortunately, this sculpture ended up in one of those places where the prevailing belief system says that historical significance is not a good enough reason to keep something around if there is a face on it.
So thanks, religious extremists, for taking something away from the rest of the world because you believe it will lead to eternal damnation! You guys are the best!
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/28
Alabama House Committee Approves Prayer in Schools Bill Even Though They Lost the Vote
The bill looks to improve Alabama schools by allowing up to fifteen minutes of organized prayer per day. The believe, apparently, that this will improve children’s test scores more than any other more proven technique. Kids who aren’t Christians are welcome to opt out and deal with ridicule from their peers and teachers. So that’s fair.
In order for this bill to go before the Alabama house, it needed to be approved by committee. It wasn’t.
By voice vote, it was two votes for the bill and three against (with three abstentions). The committee chair claimed that she “heard more yays than nays” and forwarded the bill to the entire House.
Might I suggest she get one of these before the next session?
You would think that her devout Christianity that was on display when she supported a bill to improve schools through prayer would have been on display when she was called on to honestly count the votes.
I guess, though, that she would rather spend state money on defending the inevitable lawsuit coming their way if this bill becomes law.
How, exactly, are Christian values winning out here?
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/14
Disney Star Gets Death Threats Because Her Show Featured Lesbians
The star in question, Mia Talerico, is five years old.
Her show featured a play date in which her friend had two moms. You know, a healthy happy lesbian couple. Just the sort of thing that causes the bile to rise in the average Christian Right household.
Yeah. This sort of thing is really threatening.
So what’s the Christian thing to do?
Not being a Christian, I’m a bit uncertain. Can someone tell me if threatening the life of a five-year old girl is the Christian thing to do?
And can someone tell me how this kind of behavior comes even close to hating the sin and loving the sinner?
Also a memo to “One Million Moms” – you currently have only 60,000+ “likes” on Facebook. You could increase that number twice as fast if only you allowed lesbian moms!
Shit That Pissed Me Off – 2/7
Coke Super Bowl Ad Creates Unsurprising Freak Out
The ad was supposed to be patriotic. It started with “America the Beautiful” in English and then transitioned to the song being sung in other languages.
Now the concept (I think) was to show how people from other countries immigrate (legally) to America to pursue a dream of freedom and blah blah blah America is awesome. Fortunately, the internet is filled with people who wanted to prove to Coke that America is not, in fact awesome.
They objected to the whole idea that an American song could be sung in any language other than American! How dare Coke suggest such a thing?
Is the word “Coke” even English?
They also freaked out about the fact that the commercial featured an openly gay couple prominently displayed in a song written by a lesbian.
The saddest commentary to me is the fact that when we watched the commercial at our Super Bowl party, we predicted the response. And no, that doesn’t make us psychic. Predicting stupidity requires no special skills.
Shit that Pissed me Off 1/24
Dude is Going to Hunt a Black Rhino and People Respond in a Logical Fashion
This is a story in which nobody involved comes out looking particularly good.
One the one hand, you have a guy who is spending $350,000 to kill a critically endangered animal. Yes, that money goes to conservation efforts and the animal he’ll be killing is too old to breed. He’s doing the black rhinos a favor by killing one of them!
This one looks super grateful!
You gotta wonder, though, about a guy who is so anxious to kill one of them that he’s willing to pony up $350,000 to do it.
On the other hand, he is getting death threats. People are threatening his children.
How does that make it better? You don’t like the fact he’s going to kill an animal so you threaten his family?
What a fucked up circle of life.
Shit that Pissed me Off – 1/3
Teen Makes a Joke on Twitter and People Tell her She Should Kill Herself
So here’s the joke:
This beautiful earth is now officially 2014 years old, amazing
Now shame on her, I guess, for failing to clearly identify her post as sarcasm. I mean she’s only a teenager so it could naturally be assumed that she wasn’t making a joke but was, rather, a complete idiot.
Her joke went viral and when jokes go viral on the internet, two things happen. The first is that a lot of people are amused by the joke. The second is that a lot of other people will completely fail to get her joke and reveal themselves to be complete assholes.
If this was a real book, it would eventually outsell the bible. Ironically, nobody who bought it would read it because they would assume they already knew it all.
The internet, my friends, is the most Democratic place in the world. You want free speech? You can make a joke that reaches thousands of people.
Be warned, however, that some of those people are idiotic. And the idiotic ones are the most likely to say something.
Grail Diary 